My Mother

[Minde]

...is ESTj/LSE, I have decided.

My dad is fairly easily a Delta NF, probably INFj. But for a long time I was very unsure how to type my mother. Although I have always had an exceptionally good relationship with my parents, during my teen years I got along less well with her than with my father, and sometimes I felt there was an understanding barrier.

When I initially considered ESTj, she seemed too timid and quiet. I think, though, a lot of that can be explained through her upbringing and especially her father, who put her down and intimidated her and generally undermined her self-esteem.

But the more I look at it all, the more I have let it all settle into place in my mind, the more clearly I see her as an ESTj, even if not a completely stereotypical one.

She's not outgoing, but she has the proactive EJ energy. Her Fe is often quite minimal, sometimes almost painfully so, heh. For example, she far values productivity and practicality over niceties and will run unaware over others' feelings in her quest to get something done. She's also good with her hands and in understanding how mechanical things work.

Anyway, I could go on if needed, but this isn't so much a "what's her type?" thread as it is... an announcement, I guess.

[UDP]

It's nice to see you confident enough to declare a typing of your own.

[Minde]

It's nice to see you confident enough to declare a typing of your own.

That makes me sound like a mindless drone who only follows what other people say. I think you have the wrong impression.

This is hardly the first person I've typed "on my own." I posted this thread because this is a person who is close to me and therefore more significant than the random "oh, my XXXx friend said to me..." I want some groundwork laid out if I need/want to refer to anything. And this could also be a way to talk about non-romantic duality that has complicating factors, such as family relationships and hard childhoods.

[UDP]

I think you have the wrong impression of what I said : /

I usually don't like it when someone else goes around 'declaring' a type, i don't like it. but I'm actually glad to see this thread.

[Beautiful sky]

You just declared her type without VI or indicating how she uses the functions. But, remember this is through your own filter and interpretation; sometimes, you won't be able to see inside the person's head. Why did you type her so late in your Socionics training?

If she's LSE then she's always going to try to grab your attention and help you refocus on external things. I notice that my cousin looks me almost directly in the eyes when she wants to talk about something or other; this is to try to pull us out of our head, where we can be most of the time. They don't like it when others are not listening and are distracted.

I have a very strong feeling that your mom is an intuitive type; I'm supposing ENFp; this is an estimation of type based on both your sister and you being an N type. Call it genetic mathematics.

[Minde]

You just declared her type without VI or indicating how she uses the functions. But, remember this is through your own filter and interpretation; sometimes, you won't be able to see inside the person's head. Why did you type her so late in your Socionics training?

Everybody has their own filters and interpretations.

To answer your question: First, you assume that only now have I made this decision. In reality, I settled on that type for her awhile ago and have only just said it here now. Second, I don't see a problem with holding off on typing someone, especially if there are potentially complicating factors, like outside influences (e.g. childhood experiences) or family relationships (e.g. trees for the forest). This works for me because I interact with the person first and then use their type as a supplementary source of perspective as it is useful.

If she's LSE then she's always going to try to grab your attention and help you refocus on external things. I notice that my cousin looks me almost directly in the eyes when she wants to talk about something or other; this is to try to pull us out of our head, where we can be most of the time. They don't like others who are not listening and are distracted.

I have a very strong feeling that your mom is an intuitive type; I'm supposing ENFp; this is an estimation of type based on both your sister and you being an N type. Call it genetic mathematics.

I believe by your own method of genetic mathematics you yourself would be a near impossibility.

You can have your own opinion, of course. But if your estimation of genetic probability is all you are basing things on, you'll forgive me if I stick with my own understandings of both socionics and my mother.

I feel like you're disagreeing with me here just for the sake of disagreeing...

[Beautiful sky]

I'm not disagreeing for it's sake. I'm presenting a possibility. In my observation, only dual pairs have kids of either type; so, based on that observation, since your sister is another type altogether then ESTj or INFj, I can confidently say that your parents are not dual pairs. Which is fine. My parents are not dual pairs and they had three different type kids. Only my brother is the same type as my dad. I'm saying that your mom could be ENFp and because of the relationship difference between parents and siblings, it's likely that your mom is either your type or your sisters, and it's likely that you may not be considering that. I also doubt that your parents are both Sensory types as you and your sister are Intuitive types; the odds there outweigh the S situation. Just mathematics...nothing personal.