You are free to get my opinion about your type anywhere. As to understand anything in Socionics with wrong opinion about own type is doubtful.
For example. In this thread you have described your impressions from IR which partly do not fit good to the classical theory and your incorrect opinion about own type (besides types of others typed by you) may explain what you see.
"I find that duals feels a bit scary but most of all unreachable."
Duals do not give the scary feelings. They inspire the _trust_ and friendship, the most of other types. If you get the opposite - those people probably are not from your quadra.
Until you are geting the significant contradictions to the classical theory - study the types and identify them better, including the own. You are doubtful to be T type, as mostly behave emotionally without production of appropriate thoughts.
You remind EIE. Much of their firm clowning. While hard getting of other opinions about your type points that it's low probably you have Ne in ego and mb in values.
The outside world will probably hate your Duality, especially if you are a Se valuing type. It's more like you two get lost in your own little private playground where normal rules of gravity don't apply. It's wonderful and amazing and sinful and destructive... you know, love is a destructive force, the most destructive force there is. And that's why it's so powerful; it's a big magical bomb that blasts away all you don't like so you can go into a dimension with nothing but what you do like. Then somebody from an opposing quadra comes in with their annoying needle and breaks it all to bits.
Relationships need the support from the outside world to truly thrive, this is way easier for IEE/SLI then it is SLE/IEI but it's still do-able. The thing is, you can't 'reach something' entirely on your own. It just doesn't work that way. You need the support of the world telling you it's okay. Otherwise? It's doomed to fail. It's too romeo and juliet-tragic instead of something that's actually constructive and positive. You need your super-ego stroked just as much as Id and Ego. It needs to be in an harmonic balance or it's not love.
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on its face this sounds like a childlike fantasy to me, but I can see how from the outside everyone views everyone else in "their own world" to some extentyou two get lost in your own little private playground where normal rules of gravity don't apply
Yeah it is childlike fantasy at first glance but the more people pay attention to it the more they go in the opposite direction: they take it super seriously and I think this becomes problematic, as other types might not respect the innocence of it or whatever, or see the 'goodness' in it. Well for SLE/IEI duality.
I believe it to be the perfect blend of grim reality and happy fantasy tho of course I'm biased.