Unhealthy EIEs/ENFjs

[Variant]

I'm wondering about the possibility of me being an unhealthy EIE or perhaps not an EIE at all? I have introverted tendencies but i don't know if it's just natural or if I was affected externally that caused me to become 50/50 on E/I scale.

Here are some things that i worry about:

-I know when to speak up in a conversation (giving my opinion) but i normally keep my mouth shut because I don't like talking about shallow things. School, sports, or "My boyfriend dumped me" topics disinterests me. Waste my breath trying to make small talk.

-I don't have too many friends as no one meets much of my needs. I like to hang around people of my age and tend not to mesh myself with people younger than me or older than me because I know my place. Well y'know what I mean, i don't want to disturb them or affect their growth or anything. It's not like i have anything to offer them that is of interest to them =.=. People have nothing to offer for me either...well except nerds. I like to have nerds as friends because they're the only ones who can have a decent conversation. Intellectualizing <--love this thing. Just talking about the "what ifs" and the implications of situations. Most of my good friends are Introverted NT's, they're good for discussion but they don't satisfy my needs still.

I keep on saying satisfying my needs because I always ignore them, i think that other people have needs that are much greater than mine. Like seriously if i compare my needs to a dying child in africa, who's more important? Well obviously theirs. This is an extreme example but you get the point. By saying that I have to satisfy my needs* it makes me look a little too selfish. I don't like being selfish but i don't want to neglect myself either, and i have constant battle a guilty in myself.

Like if i don't talk to that person, i should be sorry because could be giving them a good time. Or if i see like I'm ignoring everyone, i should be sorry becuz I have to fix myself first before being all happy/jump. Selfish, everything boils down to selfishness and i hate that.

-I'm also quite aware of how I affect others with my words. I really don't want to offend anyone and I don't want to get offended either so I'd prefer that i don't say anything. Sometimes i wonder if someone could get pissed by just having me say a couple words, maybe they hate me o.o (well i don't know about that). Maybe I'm paranoid? Or unhealthy...problem..

I do try to strive for win-win situations but sometimes playing mr. "keep it all together guy" doesn't work anymore and i should just lash out at them if they keep pissing me off. I have an SLE brother and he's like the most useless guy ever, i could make a whole other thread bashing on my SLE brother but I'll do that another time. It doesn't take a stretch to understand him because he's too simple, selfish and just wants it his way all the time. So i doubt that he's an ISTP. Perhaps he's the cause of all my problems, coming home everyday and facing this useless piece of shit just drives me nuts.

Usually when i get into an argument, i don't stay mad for too long. Sometimes i just forget about it when the other person starts being nice again, but it bugs me because I don't want to forget what they've done wrong. I want to stay mad and go against my personality (if I'm actually an EIE) so I'll treat them the way they DESERVE it. It's hard however to stay angry at a person for long, because all they want to do is be nice and again to have you listen to "Oh how their day was" or "Oh on this game i got this item" or "Wow y'know today there was this retarded guy" like holly fucking shit why do i have to keep listening to their problems if they won't listen to mine?

I'm so self-conscious that someone might get disinterested in hearing me speak, or maybes that is fear or something? But how i deal with this is just filter them out from the potential friend pool.

-I've seemed to not care too much about always having someone to talk to while passing the time because it's really pointless. At the end of the day, whoever you talked to was just...small talk o.o. There's no point, so wouldn't it be more wise to spend some time alone an reflect about yourself? , it's better to reflect on what you want as a friend rather than securing yourself socially with retards. Seriously if you really wanted to be in a group, get misunderstood, waste time explaining yourself, and then repeating it. What's the point? Being alone isn't bad especially if no one can understand you.

-Most of the time I'm very reserved in emotions, i don't like to express myself too much because I believe that as a guy I'm responsible for my own emotions. If it affects other people in a negative way, it's my fault and i shouldn't have done it in the first place. Correct right? But it makes me look so serious, detached, and melancholic. Maybe that has a more negative affect on people around me? How the hell am i suppose to find an ISTJ girl friend if this keeps happening. I don't see myself much as always happy guy and much less a leader.

The thing about me being a leader, I'm not like the guy who says "Go do that please, and "this is how it's going to be, you do this that, dat blabalbal ya". I kind of like to work with my group and not say that I'm a leader but I do play a role in getting the job done. In a sense i don't like to call myself a leader because i normally don't lead in something that I'm not knowledgeable in.

-Every day i will go about reflecting on my life, my dreams, my family, my future, beliefs, Christianity. Each day will be a repeat of that

-I don't like the unknown, it makes me a little nervous if I don't know how to plan for it next. Kind of like if i don't know what my English Teacher expects of me in an essay, i get a little nervous

-I have this thing where I often scare myself thinking that i can't do something or if I think of a bad situation that could happen. Real weird

But overall I seem like an introvert but I really have no clue what this could all mean? Am I an unhealthy EIE? If not please tell me what an unhealthy EIE is like and what my subtype could be.

[discojoe]

Could have just made the title "EIEs"

[golden]

Hey, ReiLing--

I have my type narrowed down only to Beta NF--I could be EIE--but wanted to say that I identify with much of what you wrote. The people I have typed as EIE in real life are not necessarily incredibly gregarious. Of the two I know best, and whom I'm pretty sure are EIE, one of them is sort of nervous and social but also locks himself away a lot to work and isn't too easy to get to know on a deeper level. The other comes off as really aloof and proud and distant.

Specific things you mentioned that are like me:

* friends with nerds, very drawn toward intellectuals, lots of NTs.
* I will make small talk but not always--can bore me. I'm always pushing people to see if they can come up with something deeper. Over the years I've grown more tolerant, though, of people who don't dwell on what I personally find meaningful.
* I'm pretty independent and don't want to spend my time with people if it's not meaningful to me. I'd rather just go to an art museum or to hear music, shop in weird stores, etc.
* I try to put a good face on things because I don't want to be a burden to other people. This is sometimes a weakness of mine, as I can be really having a lot of difficulty but not know how to be vulnerable enough to get support. Yet I'm always around to give support to others.
* IRL I tend to be hyper-aware of what I say and the power of my words. I'm trying to relax about this and be more fuck-it-I'll-just-say-whatever. Still, the filter between my brain and my mouth tends to be pretty strong.
* I can lash out when I've held myself back too hard, too long.
* I can come across as serious and detached; it's my first-line-defense among all my layers of social personas and makes it hard sometimes for people to get to know me.
* I tend to become a leader in contexts where I feel like I'm part of a team in pursuit of a common interest, but not a leader for the SAKE of being one.
* I'm extremely self-conscious and tend to be really negative about my own possibilities.

Sound familiar?

Ashton mentioned to me that his father, who is EIE (and totally VIs it, btw), insisted he was an introvert. According to Ashton, this is because his dad is someone who just doesn't really "need" people. Consider the non-pop-psychology definitions of introvert and extrovert.

Here are a few ways in which I can seem introverted. When I'm in a crowded public space, my attention is everywhere, all over it. And I can get really sensorily overwhelmed in places with bad acoustics and a lot of chaos. I gave an example in chat of a friend of mine (an introvert) who wanted to go into a crowded, loud, acoustically horrific ice cream shop; I took one look and said I'd wait outside. She was nonplussed by the interior. I could think from that kind of thing I might be an introvert.

But take an opposite example. My mother, IP temperament, and I go to restaurants together. She sits there sealed off in her own little world. I am the one who is aware of the environment, of how to interact with our server on a social level, of where s/he is at any given time, of how to get our needs met, etc. I don't tune out the background, all those concrete details--I monitor everything closely and accurately.

Anyway, do you think you're EJ temperament, or possibly something else? Do you think you're definitely a Beta? Do you identify with Si-PoLR, and if so, why?

What led you to type yourself EIE to start with? In combing through ancient threads here, I've noticed more than one person who self-typed IEI and switched to EIE, and at least one whom other members told she seemed IEI but ended up going with EIE.

Some of the Beta and Gamma types, to my mind, seem poorly understood and not strongly represented on here, so it's not so easy to figure out what some of them are actually like at first.

As for your subtype, why do you think (per your profile or whatever) that you might be Fe-EIE? If I'm EIE, I'm probably Ni, and I think this contributes to me seeming a bit standoffish.

[golden]

Could have just made the title "EIEs"

Hahaha, touché, jackass.

[Variant]

Could have just made the title "EIEs"

Oh haha

[Variant]

Anyway, do you think you're EJ temperament, or possibly something else? Do you think you're definitely a Beta? Do you identify with Si-PoLR, and if so, why?

What led you to type yourself EIE to start with? In combing through ancient threads here, I've noticed more than one person who self-typed IEI and switched to EIE, and at least one whom other members told she seemed IEI but ended up going with EIE.

Some of the Beta and Gamma types, to my mind, seem poorly understood and not strongly represented on here, so it's not so easy to figure out what some of them are actually like at first.

As for your subtype, why do you think (per your profile or whatever) that you might be Fe-EIE? If I'm EIE, I'm probably Ni, and I think this contributes to me seeming a bit standoffish.

Yes i believe that I have an EJ temperament, my lifestyle isn't messy nor is it disorganized and i like to find things where i put it. Most of all I like to follow a schedule or rather follow something that's planned out for me...but sometimes I get tired of it. Which relates to this

http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.p...e=EIE_subtypes
I relate a lot to Meged/Ovcharov's type description and the sexual behaviour, they said ethical subtype so i assumed Fe-EIE. There's gotta be atleast some* things new in my life. Just some.


Now for beta, i don't know what makes a person a Beta but because i typed myself as EIE, then I guess i fall under Beta. What also led me to confirm that I am EIE is because of my relationships with my friends and parents. For illusionary relations, only extroverts will find the introvert slightly weird. My mum is ISFJ and so is my other friend, whom i think is slightly queer in terms of laughing at weird things, telling the same stories everytime...Also my relationship with me SLE brother is really annoying, I understand him fully knowing that he's just a mutherfucker, lazy sonofabitch that only wants his way. If i was an INFP then we would get along eh? If i was an ENFP then I'd still hate him but I can't brainstorm for shit...and everytime we'd argue I'd hate him for quite a while. So no ENFP nor INFP, I'm not a thinker...can't even get my own priorities straight, plus i suck at effeciency

And yes i identify with Si-PoLR, i have like short short term memory. I'll give you a couple of examples, I toast a bread, go down to check emails and i leave the bread in the toaster for an hour. This one time when i ate dinner, i was eating my rice but i also had some fries in front of me. So I'm eating my rice, i see the fries, think about getting the ketchup, eat my rice/forget about the fries, repeat this for like 3 times and then i realize that i need to get the fricking ketchup for the fries. There's also these times where my friend tries to get me to chillax, but he can't no matter what because I ALWAYS need to be doing something. People think I'm patient but I'm actually really anxious inside. I've been taught by my ISFJ mom to do all this housework shit so I'm a little better at doing them even though i still kinda suck at it. Most of all, whenever i look at some sort of dish. I don't trust that it's healthy for me because if i see a bit of oil on it, i start thinking that it's gonna kill me and stuff. Whatever looks tasty, i don't even know if it's healthy for me. But that's when i ask my ISFJ mom and she says it's ok, so i eat it. If it wasn't for my mom cooking for my family, i would have died lol. Sometimes i miss her cooking, she knows what's best for my health . I don't, wakaka

I want to know my DCNH sub type if i the 2 subtype system doesn't work too well with me.

[discojoe]

All of the negative EIE traits, though horrible and unforgivable, are incredibly stimulating and fun and make me want to seduce the hell out of an EIE and then experience her with all five senses while desperately trying to satiate my unbounded lust, using pure Se energy to enrapture her in a primordial seance of cardinal malfeasance, inevitably leading us into a dark tunnel of damnation and eternal excruciation.

Beta.

[Variant]

All of the negative EIE traits, though horrible and unforgivable, are incredibly stimulating and fun and make me want to seduce the hell out of an EIE and then experience her with all five senses while desperately trying to satiate my unbounded lust, using pure Se energy to enrapture her in a primordial seance of cardinal malfeasance, inevitably leading us into a dark tunnel of damnation and eternal excruciation.

Beta.

Sicko o.o, do girls feel the same way? Or are you just really nasty

[discojoe]

Sicko o.o, do girls feel the same way? Or are you just really nasty

Oh, EIEs want it, make no mistake.

[Variant]

Oh, EIEs want it, make no mistake.

Nono i was wondering if LSI girls could be a sicko like you. Lol

[discojoe]

Nono i was wondering if LSI girls could be a sicko like you. Lol

Yes. See: Diana.

[JuJu]

Oh, EIEs want it, make no mistake.

True... Until it bores us.

[discojoe]

True... Until it bores us.

You mean until you need a reminder of what reality is. When EIEs get this way, they want you to first be their target, let them unload on you. Then, they want to hear what you have to say, but act like they don't care. Finally, they want to accept what you said, but make it appear as though their decision had nothing to do with you.

Afterward, there will be a kind of "So? You wanna make sumthin of it?" attitude from the EIE, accompanied by playful hitting/pinching and/or intellectual jousting, hopefully met with an amused, intentionally humble reaction by the LSI. This part of the ritual is meant to make the EIE feel as though they never "lost," and that they still occupy whatever hierarchical position they were in before their meltdown occurred.

At the end of all this and the makeup sex, the LSI will adopt a mild "Told you so" demeanor, while the EIE will wear one that starkly demands "What did you say?!" Both parties will now feel like they've made their point and that they can go back to their normal lives... until the next explosion.

[Cerelict]

a lot of this sounds like a depressive IEE

[golden]

a lot of this sounds like a depressive IEE

Mm, yeah, rereading parts of it after all this time, it actually sounds like depression just in general.

[Alomoes]

Well. Glad I'm not the only weirdo around.