Anyone had an experience with EII Sx/sps?
EII Sx/sp
Anyone had an experience with EII Sx/sps?
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
If this helps? Check out JK Rowling, that's her type
Two of my best friends are EII sx/sp, so I am intimately acquainted with them. Is there something in particular you'd like to know about this type?
Yeah we need a specific aspect to talk about
@Economist I don't mean to be overwhelming but I'd like to know everything. From their relationships to their appearance to their first impressions to their behavior to their worst traits.
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
OK. One of them is my friend from childhood, I'll call her A. The other is my friend from grad school, I'll call her B.Originally Posted by Shaebette
Relationships: both strongly value friendship but have a tendency to disappear from their friendships once they're in a romantic relationship. They sometimes seem like they cannot live without being in a romantic relationship.
A has tried to force a lot of relationships (mainly getting into relationships with guys she didn't really like much--there was also a boyfriend she loved a lot, an SLI sp/so, but she was very insecure and had mental health issues when they were together, so they eventually broke up). I think the healthiest period of her life was when she stopped doing that and started focusing on her church community (alleviating sx/sp fixation by focusing on social instinct). She's now doing a lot better in terms of mental health, and she now seems to be in a healthy relationship, with an LII sx/so she really likes.
B has been in two relationships that lasted for years, before arriving to grad school. I don't think she really liked these guys--she mostly dated them because they liked her. Since arriving to grad school, she has been in two things that lasted a few months but ended. I think she liked these guys a lot, but they either were not ready for real relationships or did not like her enough. She started dating her current boyfriend, an LII sp/sx, last summer. Before they started going out, they were good friends for about a year. In this time, there were two periods where he had pissed her off so much that she didn't even want to talk to him. Yet after the second period (which ended right around the time of her last casual relationship), she immediately got into a relationship with this LII sp/sx, and they very quickly said they love each other... Our friend group was blindsided and just like, "What?" Honestly, I think she started dating him just because she was so deeply uncomfortable with being single. But maybe since then she has started genuinely loving him... *shrug* Who am I to even try to define love?
Appearance: A is slim, a bit flat-chested, small waist, but pretty normal-sized hips. She changes her hairstyle a lot. It was a pixie cut for a while a few years back, but now she usually keeps it long. B is slim-to-normal, not very curvy. She usually keeps her hair quite short, right below the chin or above it. Both are pretty stylish, but not in a trendy/flashy way. B is just as well put-together as a grad student could ever be, but A actually puts a lot of effort into dressing well (she was thinking of working in fashion for a while).
First impressions: I met A about 15 years ago, so I don't remember too well. We actually didn't like each other at first; we were kind of fighting over another friend. I met B about 2.5 years ago after one of our classes ended, and I just remember being very impressed with how short her hair was--it looked just like a men's haircut. She was easy enough to talk to; I was flattered that she chose me as the first person in our class to talk to after she arrived at the program. But we didn't become close friends until a few months later. We first got closer through working on homework together (she's really smart and basically taught our friend group the material, lol), but ultimately really bonded over our horrible dating misadventures (most of our friend group was not single at that time).
Good traits: they're very authentic and genuine people, never fake. A indeed has a very good eye for fashion, and B is basically a super genius at theoretical math. They both have good senses of humor and are pretty playful. They would never intentionally hurt someone else. Sometimes they provide random tokens of their affection, i.e., they are quite generous. They sincerely want the best for others. They have counseled me through some of the lowest points of my life. They are not judgmental. As an EII so/sx, I liked merging with them a lot (but now I live too far from A, and B is wrapped up in her boyfriend).
Bad traits: merging wayyyy too much with their boyfriends--though this is not as bad for A right now--I think it's worse with B because her boyfriend is sp/sx, so they have a bad tendency to isolate themselves from the world, which is not good for people with below-average mental health, like them. A and B can both be a bit self-absorbed. Often they do not really listen to others' concerns and quickly change the topic to something about them. One particularly egregious example is when another friend told B and me that her leg hurt, and B just said, "My boyfriend gave me a bike." B has a habit of saying hurtful things--unintentionally, of course, but they really sting. Both A and B don't really consider their effects on other people. A is constantly shoving her Christianity in my face (I'm agnostic)--I'm happy that she has found something that gives her psychological stability, but I feel that it is rather inconsiderate of her to keep shoving it in my face--she would hate it if I kept shoving my agnosticism in her face. B is a huge, huge gossip. She is CONSTANTLY telling people things that she shouldn't be telling them. She has absolutely no sense of when she should not say something, and she relishes showing off her knowledge of deeply personal information, as a sign that people like her or something, so if you tell her something sensitive, you have to assume she will tell someone else about it, unless you explicitly tell her not to.
Both really suffer(ed) from mental health issues in terms of their sense of self-worth. They're both a lot better now--A through religion, and B through counseling/medication. But B's boyfriend is VERY negative and imposing a huge psychological burden on her now. :/
I complained about them a lot, ha, but that's just human nature. I love them both dearly. Even if they're sometimes annoying (as all people are wont to be), I know their intentions are always good, which is the most important factor to me. A is one of the two most likely people I'd ask to be my maid of honor (the other is an EII sx/so).
Do you mind if I ask why you're so curious about EII sx/sp? Do you know your stacking?
@Economist I'm curious about it because I'm not sure whether I'm EII 4w3 Sx/sp or Sx/so. I'm so confused about it but following your description I'm starting to think I'm Sx/sp. I merge completely with my partner and forget my friendships with other people. A sounds like a 4w3.
Thank you so much for your description. Are there any other particular traits that can help separate EII 4w3 Sx/sps from other EIIs?
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
I think this article is pretty good: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...tual-Stackings.
Since you're between sx/sp and sx/so, the description of the flows will be most useful, as sx/sp is syn flow and sx/so is contra flow.
sx/sp: "Compelled toward people. Acting upon and with others as a born insider i.e.- deeply human."
"intensifying, escalating, rising, surging, enlivening, invigorating, accelerating, stimulating, energizing, vitalizing, reviving, animating, inspiriting"
sx/so: "Compelled against people. Seething belligerent outsiders; 'antisocial', provoking, reverse-flow change catalysts. In some profound sense, rejecting the human condition, their own and/or that of others."
"excluding, eliminating, dividing, separating, contradicting, subverting, confronting, rebuffing, ridiculing, challenging, interrupting, reforming, rupturing"
My EII sx/so friend thought she was sx/sp for a long time actually. But I had these two other EII sx/sp friends and noticed they were very different. I think the biggest differences are: (1) approach to relationships and (2) what is fixated on, what is maximally upsetting, what they obsess over that other types see as irrational.
For (1), the EII sx/sps want to be in a relationship at all times, to the point of frequently settling for people they don't even like. When they do really like their partner, they become very worried about whether the partner likes them back as much. On the other hand, the EII sx/so is 24 and has never been in a relationship or even dated someone in her life. She is a little self-conscious about it, but she has sky high standards and refuses to settle for anyone who does not meet them. She is not worried about whether a potential partner would like her back; she worries about her independence being constrained. She worries about people liking her when she doesn't like them back. Even as a friend, she is more independent. She merges in the sx/sp sense of merging when she is with you, but she will not like it if you try to hang out with her too much. She needs space, time for herself, and time for other people. She is still loyal and bound to her closest friends even when she is off galavanting about with random other people, however. Her merging is not constrained by needing physical proximity or regular maintenance friendship "touch-ups." She loves people, and she wants to have a life partner, but it will have to be someone who understands her need for independence and freedom.
For (2), the EII sx/sps obviously fixate on not having a relationship, when they're not in one, and this disturbs them so much that sometimes they would just rather settle. They care about society's problems, but what deeply pains them in their souls is not being merged with someone. The EII sx/so would like a boyfriend, but isn't much bothered about not having one or never having had one. She obsesses over political problems, maximizing her impact on society, and helping poor people as much as possible. After the 2016 U.S. presidential election, she was completely fixated on all the terrible things that could possibly happen because of it. She kept reading as much news as she could, even though it was just negatively affecting her mental state; she couldn't help it.
Since you're between sx/sp and sx/so, the description of the flows will be most useful, as sx/sp is syn flow and sx/so is contra flow.
sx/sp: "Compelled toward people. Acting upon and with others as a born insider i.e.- deeply human."
"intensifying, escalating, rising, surging, enlivening, invigorating, accelerating, stimulating, energizing, vitalizing, reviving, animating, inspiriting"
sx/so: "Compelled against people. Seething belligerent outsiders; 'antisocial', provoking, reverse-flow change catalysts. In some profound sense, rejecting the human condition, their own and/or that of others."
"excluding, eliminating, dividing, separating, contradicting, subverting, confronting, rebuffing, ridiculing, challenging, interrupting, reforming, rupturing[COLOR=#3E3E3E]"
@Economist Could you describe these two in Layman?
I can't thank you enough for your help with all this. I am most definitely Sx/sp. I've read through other detailed descriptions of Sx/sps and had a lot of "That's me!" moments so thanks a bunch!
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
No problem, glad to help (and it's fun to ramble about typology).Since you're between sx/sp and sx/so, the description of the flows will be most useful, as sx/sp is syn flow and sx/so is contra flow.
sx/sp: "Compelled toward people. Acting upon and with others as a born insider i.e.- deeply human."
"intensifying, escalating, rising, surging, enlivening, invigorating, accelerating, stimulating, energizing, vitalizing, reviving, animating, inspiriting"
sx/so: "Compelled against people. Seething belligerent outsiders; 'antisocial', provoking, reverse-flow change catalysts. In some profound sense, rejecting the human condition, their own and/or that of others."
"excluding, eliminating, dividing, separating, contradicting, subverting, confronting, rebuffing, ridiculing, challenging, interrupting, reforming, rupturing[COLOR=#3E3E3E]"
@Economist Could you describe these two in Layman?
I can't thank you enough for your help with all this. I am most definitely Sx/sp. I've read through other detailed descriptions of Sx/sps and had a lot of "That's me!" moments so thanks a bunch!
To clarify syn-flow vs. contra-flow, here are some examples of things that I believe really show the contra-flow-ness of my sx/so friend. Her political beliefs are that the entire U.S. political system should be changed from the inside-out. In the 2016 U.S. presidential election, she voted for Sanders in the primary and Jill Stein in the general (not in a swing state, but still). She doesn't care that it's unrealistic; she thinks it's more important to have a tiny probability at revolutionary change than to have a high probability of incremental progress advanced by more mainstream liberals. I think this goes toward the term "reverse-flow change catalysts" used in the contra-flow description. Indeed most sx/so's I know (not just the EII sx/so) supported Sanders.
The most unusual thing about my EII sx/so friend, perhaps, is her feelings toward death. She sees it as unconsciousness not different from sleep. Though she does not want to kill herself, she is freakishly at peace with her own mortality. I think this is the "rejecting the human condition" part of the contra-flow description.
Also, my EII sx/so friend categorically refuses to have children and subscribes to the anti-natalist movement. She once said the world might be a better place if we all agreed to stop having children and focused on using our resources for the happiness of existing people, even though this would mean the extinction of the human race. Again, "rejecting the human condition." This idea sounds extremely negative to a syn-flow person, I think, and maybe even other, less-extreme contra-flow people, but to her, it is more negative to ignore the needs of existing people who are struggling, for the sake of people who do not yet exist. Most sx/so's I know do not want children, actually, though most of them also would not mind children if their partners wanted them.
I would describe some syn-flow examples, but since I am syn-flow, it's too normal for me/it's hard for me to tell what distinguishes syn-flow. So... I'll just say it's the opposite of what I wrote above, lol.
@Economist I think I understand what you mean by contra-flow. Correct me if I'm wrong by using this example(it's the only one I could think of) My boyfriend is IEE Sx/so and literally tempts fate. He's not scared of hurting himself (or dying in the process) while cycling or actually doing anything. He's fascinated by gory things to some extent. For example we were travelling one night and there was a really bad accident that occurred about ten minutes from where we were( I'm measuring the distance using time lol). He literally got out of the bus( it was 1 freaking am) and walked TO the accident scene (many people had been burned alive.. Gas leak) and literally just stared. Burned bodies. Mangled cars. And he just stared.
He came back to the bus,unfazed, to take me there and I was so horrified. Does this kind of fall under "rejection of the human condition"? In terms of mortality, pain etc
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
@Shaebette Maybe! That's not something I would have considered particularly sx/so on my own, but now that you mention it, it matches up. My sx/so friend once watched a video of a political/religious murder (I didn't retain the details--one of those horrible things posted on the internet) because she felt she had the duty to stare the worst of humanity in its face and just know that humans are capable of such evil things.
I don't think other contra-flow types are like this though. I think it's an especially sx/so thing, due to their self-preservation being last.
The way that sp/sx rejects the human condition is through isolating himself from society, becoming a hermit because society is too imperfect or bothersome, things like that. so/sp is probably the most wholesome of the contra-flows (though maybe I only feel that way because I share the same first instinct), but I think they still reject the humanity of others a bit, in that they seem to see others as tools to use/manipulate into getting what they want. Not in an evil sense. Often, what they want is to be good people or to be seen as good people, and usually the easiest way to be seen as good is to actually be good. IDK, sorry my thoughts aren't very organized now. so/sp is your exact opposite so maybe I've made them sound really awful. But two of my best friends are so/sp, I actually quite like so/sp's. I think the "using" mentality is buried pretty deep, covered by a lot of pro-social behaviors. Or at least, to me it's not as aggravating as sp/sx's isolation--but again, that's probably just because I'm so/sx...
@Economist Well thanks a bunch for your help!!
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
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