What are ISTjs and ESTps attracted to?

[idealistichick]

So I'd like any info on Beta ST's that would be helpful...What are you guys attracted to? If you're not one I'd like ur opinion especially if you have had experience with one in a relationship.

[Ezra]

Apparently LSIs can dig mood swings in the EIE. I can't. I can adapt if I have to, but I'd rather not. I live with an EIE, and he's pretty joyful and motivated and forceful most of the time, but when he's in a mood, it's not pleasant to be around. However, I suppose EIEs are less moody than IEIs, simply based on the premise that many IEIs are Fours, and the moodiness of Fours can get on my nerves. (Although I've had little romantic experience concerning Fours, and generally, relationship-wise, I cope well enough with my IEI father).

What I do love about my EIE friend, and what sometimes makes me think we're duals on many occasions is the way he stirs me up to believe something. It's not so much subservience as "I am in control, but you are an interesting, inspirational guy, so make me believe something; give me direction". He's also fantastic company on nights out. Without him at the table, it's either dead or lacking in Fe+Se.

[idealistichick]

I can tell that ESTp's can't handle my horrible mood swings. I can be very sensitive at times. I got yelled at by an ESTp that I'm close to a couple weeks ago and even though he apologized so many times, I was really upset. When I realized I was overreacting I apologized but he was mad at me the entire day because I ignored his phone calls and texts. He tried to get my attention by doing something that would bother me. The following day we got into another argument but I noticed when I showing my Fe he thought it was sweet. Me and him haven't really spoken that much since then.

[mikemex]

I can tell that ESTp's can't handle my horrible mood swings.

I doubt anyone really can.

[idealistichick]

I doubt anyone really can.

lol I agree with you. I've noticed that Beta NF's are the worst when it comes to mood swings.

[Satan]

lol I agree with you. I've noticed that Beta NF's are the worst when it comes to mood swings.

sounds like fun

[redbaron]

lol I agree with you. I've noticed that Beta NF's are the worst when it comes to mood swings.

Maybe but I know some pretty darned moody SEIs. They just don't express their mood outwardly. (but neither do I)

[Jimbean]

I like EIE's when they are striving for something big, or by giving me a challenge. Also, I don't know how else to say it, but just say something with your Ni.

Personally, I get into political events, I like to work and I like to party.

[Jimbean]

Also, I want to add something else:

You folks are about darn near impossible to find. But I did find a lot of you, as well as other betas and gammas when I hung around fraternities at school. We had an economics club that was full of the / types. Try joining some clubs at school!

[idealistichick]

Hey! Thanks for the advice but I've been noticing that there are alot of Beta ST's that are just boring around me. I do get along with them but they are so plain and closed off. I wish I had my dual already hehe

[redbaron]

Hey! Thanks for the advice but I've been noticing that there are alot of Beta ST's that are just boring around me. I do get along with them but they are so plain and closed off. I wish I had my dual already hehe

thing is, they may appear boring but if you get to know them better over time, they might show you a different side. Seriously.

[Satan]

Hey! Thanks for the advice but I've been noticing that there are alot of Beta ST's that are just boring around me. I do get along with them but they are so plain and closed off. I wish I had my dual already hehe

if you were more social you would realise the tricks to build quicker connections

[redbaron]

if you were more social you would realise the tricks to build quicker connections

what tricks? do share.

[Khola aka Bee]

what tricks? do share.

Yes, do tell us Merky? I don't know, I think it just takes patience with SLEs. You need them to feel ... I'm not sure? Like they are valued almost, before they will open up? Even then it has to be worth the risk somewhat.

[idealistichick]

I tried to have deep conversations and it pretty much works a few times with the ESTp I'm close to. Something has been bothering him lately and every time I ask him what's wrong he changes the subject but then will say "I've been going through a lot the past few months" and then starts to joke around. I've been really patient with him but I feel like he needs to open up to me. I'm very upset that he is more open with this girl who he's not really close to and would rather sit and have a conversation about his problems than with me.

[redbaron]

I tried to have deep conversations and it pretty much works a few times with the ESTp I'm close to. Something has been bothering him lately and every time I ask him what's wrong he changes the subject but then will say "I've been going through a lot the past few months" and then starts to joke around. I've been really patient with him but I feel like he needs to open up to me. I'm very upset that he is more open with this girl who he's not really close to and would rather sit and have a conversation about his problems than with me.

maybe it's because he admires you and doesn't want you to see his faults. Or could it be that he has confusing feelings for YOU? I think SLEs are tough on the surface but there's a lot going on underneath.

[idealistichick]

maybe it's because he admires you and doesn't want you to see his faults. Or could it be that he has confusing feelings for YOU? I think SLEs are tough on the surface but there's a lot going on underneath.

I agree with you on that. There is more to ESTp's than they want to show.

[redbaron]

I agree with you on that. There is more to ESTp's than they want to show.

which is one of the reasons I find them so intriguing.

[jessica129]

if you were more social you would realise the tricks to build quicker connections

You don't filter anything you say, do you?

[Satan]

You don't filter anything you say, do you?

I kind of filter. It's harder online -- I tend to filter based upon what I feel the other person can receive.

[Satan]

maybe it's because he admires you and doesn't want you to see his faults. Or could it be that he has confusing feelings for YOU? I think SLEs are tough on the surface but there's a lot going on underneath.

Then the rational approach would be to non-judgmentally show awareness of his faults.

[Satan]

Yes, do tell us Merky? I don't know, I think it just takes patience with SLEs. You need them to feel ... I'm not sure? Like they are valued almost, before they will open up? Even then it has to be worth the risk somewhat.

You need them to feel.

I'm not sure just what risk you're talking about.

[zenbrat]

I tried to have deep conversations and it pretty much works a few times with the ESTp I'm close to. Something has been bothering him lately and every time I ask him what's wrong he changes the subject but then will say "I've been going through a lot the past few months" and then starts to joke around. I've been really patient with him but I feel like he needs to open up to me. I'm very upset that he is more open with this girl who he's not really close to and would rather sit and have a conversation about his problems than with me.

ESTp's (and Beta's in general) are sensitive to invasive queries. If they sense that you will try to "fix" it, they won't tell you about it.

EIE's are often referred to as 'Growth Teachers'. They want to fix people. Oddly enough, your fellow quadra-mates might appreciate this trait in you but not when it's directed at them.