IEI or SEI?

[Linas]

I kind of think I lack sense of style and I'm to bitchy and too willing to do what others want me to do.

[Linas]

I like the hair in the second picture

[strrrng]

SEI

[redbaron]

reminds me of my IEI brother. I'm gonna go with IEI.

[1981slater]

I can see there a mix of Mark Hammill and Sebastian Vettel

[redbaron]

good call, 1981.

[Gilly]

Oh my god, could heath be IEI?

*blinks*

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

SEI.

Are you a homosexual?

[Linas]

Oh my god, could heath be IEI?

*blinks*

heath? is it my facial hair?

[Linas]

SEI.

Are you a homosexual?

I dont know.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

What do you mean, you don't know? Have you ever had a dick up your ass? Do you find the same sex attractive? If a hot guy was to hit on you right now, would you follow through? Have you ever fantasized about giving a guy head? Do you have romantic (not just sexual) feelings about guys? Were you ever aroused in locker rooms while growing up?

[redbaron]

B&D, I don't think it's always that cut and dry for everyone. I mean, some might be attracted to both genders at different times or in different situations and it may be confusing.

[iAnnAu]

What do you mean, you don't know? Have you ever had a dick up your ass? Do you find the same sex attractive? If a hot guy was to hit on you right now, would you follow through? Have you ever fantasized about giving a guy head? Do you have romantic (not just sexual) feelings about guys? Were you ever aroused in locker rooms while growing up?

Oh, come on, I know you're being at least slightly facetious.

I didn't know I was bisexual until I was 22. I'd had plenty of women hit on me, but I'd never felt attracted to them enough to respond. Then finally the circumstances aligned, and it all was so perfectly natural. Not anxiety-ridden, not shameful, not prurient, not even particularly adventuresome - just natural. *That's* the basis upon which I claim my sexuality. It also doesn't matter what you've *done* because it's your mindset - you could never have sex with a member of your own sex but know in your heart you're homosexual.

It's personal, and for some reason I know you know that, so I'm not sure why you're being so vulgar here. Linas at least is keeping an open mind about it; you of all people I think would applaud that.

[Creepy-bg]

you've been here before correct? I remember those pictures

and for what it's worth... looks like hitta in his pictures before he got fat.

[Creepy-bg]

err I mean stout

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

My apologizes.

I didn't mean to be vulgar, I was just confuzzled at his confusion.

How can you 'Not know' if you find the same sex attractive?

I do have an open mind. I just don't understand.

didn't know I was bisexual until I was 22. I'd had plenty of women hit on me, but I'd never felt attracted to them enough to respond.

I'm mostly gay, but have felt attraction to women before too all my life. It's something that I was just born with, and I always was kinda the same more or less from the beginning, so I can't relate to that experience. I think it might work differently for women than men. And what circumstances aligned?

We fall in love with people, not body parts. But at the age of developmental and puberty for males, that's when sexual orientation is usually created and it is more or less a cut and dry thing. Again, you can disagree if you wish but it just seems to me you're explaining a typical 'Lesbian at college' thing that women go through, that I just don't understand. I'm sorry.

[Linas]

.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I think everybody is curious like that, even people who are 110% one way or another.

But as of right here, right now- have you ever masturbated over another guy, or found them sexually attractive?

Or put it this way, if you pass the magazine section in the store and see the body builder mags or whatever, with the hot guys on the front, does it excite you in anyway?

(again, I do not mean to be vulgar, I just don't understand how one could be confused over raw attraction.) In guys at least, either something gets you going or it doesn't.

And no offense either, ann, but all the women I've met that are like you ended up marrying men and living a heterosexual life. They still claimed they were bi though, so I believe them- but almost every one of them ended up with a guy. Yes, it's not 'what we do' but that's only true to a point. It's both what you do and what you like, I think.

I don't know. But in my experience sex is more physiological than psychological. It's more in the body than in the head.

[Linas]

I sometimes find interesting men interesting, you know. bodybuilders looks crazy. and I get hard seeing something like two guys and girl, or like guys, but for a short period. and all the ass shit looks very cool to me, but I dont know, Im kind of like going nowthere, Im not that really shy about that. oh, yeah, lots of times i've made jokes about myself and other guys in some gay way, but it is the way it is. oh and yeah have a lil experience. some of it was nice, some of it was kind of like hot but still ugly (I should deadly want sex to do that again). uh

[strrrng]

lol @ Sam putting the pressure on. Your style reminds me so much of myself.

[Linas]

I think everybody is curious like that, even people who are 110% one way or another.

no! they are like - I could kill gay if I saw one or smth

[Linas]

lol @ Sam putting the pressure on. Your style reminds me so much of myself.

hey I feel stupid. I like talking about dirty things and joking sometimes, but hey I want some privacy. and still I cant keep private things so private

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

hey I feel stupid. I like talking about dirty things and joking sometimes, but hey I want some privacy. and still I cant keep private things so private

Oh please. This isn't my fault. You were the one that said and I quote 'I don't know whether I want to fuck him or be fucked by him.'

Again you're the one that brought this whole gay shit up in the first place so don't blame me. I simply asked you whether or not you are homosexual and it's turning into this debate about your porn fantasies and fetishes. I think everybody would agree the whole 'straight guy turning gay thing' is way hot, there's a big market for it because it allows men to feel safe about their sexuality without going through social prejudices that the gay label entails. But again, what is your ORIENTATION - are you driven to males or females, sexually - in the absence of all fantasies or p0rn?

I just don't understand why everybody is making this so complex. What were you attracted to *before* you got into the heavy internet porn? If it's both, that's fine- I will believe you, but it seems like you are conflicted about something and wanting it to be one way or another yourself.

Do you dig chicks or dudes or chicks and dudes, or just chicks or just dudes? *sigh*

Or national geographic lions, like BG said.

I'm not trying to pigeonhole you into a social group, or to 'box you in' - it just is a lot clearer than we make it out to be. I asked 'are you homosexual' not 'are you gay' - I asked if you're sexually driven to men, as opposed to fitting a social identity group.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

You know, this isn't worth it. I can't believe why this is making me frustrated. I guess it doesn't matter. I guess I'll never understand how somebody just 'doesn't know' what turns them on, when I could easily tell you what turns me on. (and yeah, some of that even includes girly stuff) but how can you not know whether something turns you on or not? It seems to me just another 'there is no try' thing. But by trying to simplify things, I am apparently making it more complex.

So let's start from scratch. Linas, welcome to the forum. I hope you have a good time, no matter what your particular inclinations may or may not be. =)

[Linas]

Sooo... what should I do now?

[Linas]

Yeah, like... what's my type?

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I think you're SEI for now. But come with us on stickam later to make sure. =)

[Khola aka Bee]

B&D, I don't think it's always that cut and dry for everyone. I mean, some might be attracted to both genders at different times or in different situations and it may be confusing.

*waves*

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I guess I can understand that.

[Linas]

You may think you might know, but you know you will never know =)

[consentingadult]

I think everybody is curious like that

No. It's a sign of the times, because 20 yearsago, people weren't all that curious. Nowadays we've got 12 yo girls sucking cock casually, and not calling it sex. It's simply an increase on the macro level of narcissism, identity-disturbance and hysteria (in the psychological meaning of the term).

People don'tknow what to do with their lives anymore. If you want to become rich, become a therapist, they'll be in huge demand in about 10 years time, when a whole generation reach their quarter-life crisis age.

[iAnnAu]

My apologizes. I didn't mean to be vulgar, I was just confuzzled at his confusion. How can you 'Not know' if you find the same sex attractive? I do have an open mind. I just don't understand.

I'm mostly gay, but have felt attraction to women before too all my life. It's something that I was just born with, and I always was kinda the same more or less from the beginning, so I can't relate to that experience. I think it might work differently for women than men. And what circumstances aligned?

We fall in love with people, not body parts. But at the age of developmental and puberty for males, that's when sexual orientation is usually created and it is more or less a cut and dry thing. Again, you can disagree if you wish but it just seems to me you're explaining a typical 'Lesbian at college' thing that women go through, that I just don't understand. I'm sorry.

I realize the thread has moved on, so I just want to briefly answer this. I have been attracted to women since high school, but I never initiate anything. I've got enough other things to do with my time & energy. So to oversimplify a situation I'm not willing to go into detail about, the circumstances that aligned boil down to a woman I was attracted to actually hitting on me when we were already in a private enough place that I could respond without self-consciousness. But really that description applies to the first man I had sex with, too.

I also disagree that sexuality *ever* becomes a cut and dried thing for absolutely everyone. You can feel lucky to be so sure of your orientation; I've heard multiple stories of people who never suspected feelings to the contrary awakening to them in their fifties or even later - sure, part of this is that our society is opening up, but part of this is that some people don't really look that closely within themselves, and those assumptions can go unchallenged for who knows how long because they don't even know it needs to be addressed.

Also, my most recent sexual experience with a woman was just over a year ago; and in one of my relationships, I lived with my lover and was a second parent to her two sons for over six months - meaning that if you think I'm going through some phase, you're welcome to explain how it's lasted over a decade. I know that last sentence sounds a little PA, but your statement sounded a little judgemental to me, so there it is.

[Jarno]

big open IEI eyes.

IEI mouth.

Yet I'm not 100% certain so could you tell:

Do you day dream a lot? (=IEI)

Or do you tend to notice changes in your surroundings quickly. Like how furniture in a house is ordered, or if the t.v. blinks, or you hear an annoying sound in your car. (=SEI)

[redbaron]

oh he's IEI unless he can prove otherwise.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I didn't mean to judge you. I just said from my experience, all of the women I know that were bisexual ended up in *Reality* with men, even if they had attractions to both sexes, they STILL most of the time, decided to be with guys no matter what their fantasies were. Unless they were the more obvious kind of lesbians that were overweight and/or strong political activists.

And all the guys who told me they were 'bi' ended up being purely homosexual and ended up in relationships with men.

I don't think sexuality can be completely in your head. I think it has much more to do with hormone levels in the womb and physiology than psychology (For males, at any rate.)

I think studying homosexuality from a solely psychological perspective is filled with all kinds of wrong, as it's just one small piece to the gay puzzle. In the end, most of us want to test this 'gay shit' or 'straight shit out' with people. And if the relationship was satisfying to you, I don't mean to judge you (I know I'm kinda sounding harsh in this post, argh I'm just a strong writer so don't take offense to it) - it's just usually in those circumstances the primary sexual attraction is still with men.

Anyways, I'm still learning all I can so please don't take any offense.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

No. It's a sign of the times, because 20 yearsago, people weren't all that curious. Nowadays we've got 12 yo girls sucking cock casually, and not calling it sex. It's simply an increase on the macro level of narcissism, identity-disturbance and hysteria (in the psychological meaning of the term)

I don't think it has anything to do with narcissism (man that phrase is overused), or psychology. I think it's how much this generation is exposed to internet pornography. Back when I was a kid (even though I'm only 24) but I mean a young kid, before the internet was so popular, it was kind of a challenge and a rush to get a porn for yourself. Nowadays every kind of sick fantasy is plastered for kids to see, and you *know* everybody looks it up. And some people think it's harmless, but I disagree- you look up way too much of it, and it's bound to hurt you and make you have unrealistic expectations about sex, or whore yourself out at an early age.

Most parents let the media raise their children, that's the problem. Most parents don't talk to their kids about sex- because heterosexuals whine and say 'I DON'T SEE MY KID AS A SEXUAL BEING' yeah well, they need to get over that, because do you really want a porn to teach your kid, or another human? People are simply too repressed either way, and that causes sexual problems to overcompensate for the repression. Sexuality is with us, constantly, 24/7 (in either subtle forms or extreme) -- yet we still think we can compartmentalize it.

Or maybe straight people can't get over their eww factor when it comes to talking to their kids about sex, maybe that is the role gay men are supposed to take in society. I didn't get my questions answered until I moved into a liberal city with lots of gay men, because the people in my other community just would not budge an inch and answer any of the important questions kids have. They tied sexuality into biology and reproduction only which is just batshit stupid. Kids aren't that dumb, god. And by trying to hide the existance of homosexuality and other forms of 'non-reproductive sex' the area has a skyrocket high std rate that everybody likes to cover up.

I thank the world for aids, for how many so gay men got sick- because it opened the world up to so many things.

Those are the big issues, at any rate.

[Lotus]

Hah, B&D I actually agree with everything you've written in the last two posts. And I don't believe in bisexuality, tbh. I think people are just attracted to other people, and although I think women are attractive, I've never been attracted to women. Intimacy is always getting mixed up with attraction, the difference being that intimacy is found with the person, not their sex. Bisexual is a pointless semantic.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

DEAR GOD WOMAN, JUNIOR DOESN'T NEED ANOTHER FINAL FANTASY GAME OR COMPUTER TOY, HE NEEDS YOU TO *PARENT* HIM AND GUIDE HIM THROUGH THE STRUGGLES IN LIFE- NOT COVER UP EVERYTHING UP WITH MONEY. WHY THE HELL DID THESE BABY BOOMERS HAVE FUCKING CHILDREN IF THEY COULDN'T HANDLE THE RESPONSIBILITY? DID YOU HAVE THEM FOR TROPHIES OR WHAT? LIFE IS HARD, THERE'S A LOT OF BIG BAD THINGS THAT CAN HURT HIM YET YOU MAKE HIM DEVELOP A NEUROTIC DISORDER BY FEEDING HIM UNTIL HE'S NOTHING BUT AN INTERNET JUNKIE WITH NO SKILLS. DEAREST GOD PEOPLE, YOU SAY IT'S NOT THE PARENTS FAULT BUT COME.FUCKING.ON.

Yeah, this generation is gonna have to parent their parents in the end once we get burnt out by this technology craze.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

And I don't believe in bisexuality, tbh. I think people are just attracted to other people, and although I think women are attractive, I've never been attracted to women. Intimacy is always getting mixed up with attraction, the difference being that intimacy is found with the person, not their sex. Bisexual is a pointless semantic.

Omg I get exactly what you're saying! That's a good point, and that's how I see it too.

Especially since so many women in lesbian relationships report not having sex often. Come on now. Although, who am I to judge for sure, these relationships seem based on a more humanitarian efforts it seems, intimacy (or *raising* children which has NOTHING to do with two people being attracted to each other, of course) - like you said, but even these women admitted themselves that they weren't all that attracted to each other.

And there's many reports of gay men marrying their best gal pal because of the high amount of intimacy (but low attraction) involved.

I love the difference between intimacy and attraction.

[Lotus]

Same thing.