How long have you SLIs been with your duals? How many serious relationships have you had? How comfortable are SLIs with cheating and not saying anything? Do they keep their promises of fidelity?


my sli and i have been quarreling. We've been on and off since as long as i can remember. we're not off right now, but we're in a long distance relationship and things are really taking a toll. as if being in a relationship a million miles away isn't hard enough, he's always busy. i know hes not doing work all the time cause his friends live in his house and they're always coming by...and i feel like it wouldnt kill him to make some time for me. thats not where the quarrel came in yet, but i think thats the root of the problem. we've talked about it a million times and we agreed that becuase he didnt have enough time for me that he would text once in a while or something else. then we argued about it again and the next time, he told me that i could text him if i missed him too much. then we argued about it again he all he was telling me was that he never asked for this--us...and that i cause unnecessary stress on his life, that his life was 100% with his fraternity. this just made me feel like he didn't want to be with me, but why is he even trying to make it work? afraid to end things?

he travels sometimes to other schools where he can do anything he wants with girls and i wouldnt even know about it. he just doesnt say anything...im not sure if i can believe him when he says nothing happens when my friends will find pictures of girls hugging him and sitting on him at parties. Now, i know it sounds like no big deal, but i just feel betrayed because ive resisted so much temptation here at college. i don't even allow myself to think about other guys, touch them and even flirt! did i put myself here? is flirting and sitting on other guys okay? i wouldnt have a problem with it if he would tell me what i'm allowed to do everything he allows girls to do with him. i just want things to be fair. he tells me listen, girls flirt with me, so deal with it. deal with it?! DEAL WITH IT?! a lot of guys flirt with me too...except i know he can trust that i'll respect him...i think its just so effed up. >

so basically, i dont even know what my sli wants from me. is he just making things work just enough so that i wont leave? i want to be understanding, but i just feel like im not getting anything and having these arguments are getting pointless. if he does not try to find a way to make me happy and actually come through, should i break up with him? i feel really unhappy and even though i love him a lot, i hate him for leaving me lonely and not caring about me or even trying to feign some type of understanding.

any similar experiences? advice? im so confused.