EIIs/INFjs making snarky comments and ridiculing

[meatburger]

So why do they do it? This is only guys i have observed mind you but ive seen it in three of them. They can be snarky and will call you ugly and stuff like that. It actually annoys me greatly because i personally never ever ever pay out anyone. Yet they are supposedly stronger in than i am? Plus, they cannot take it in return. If you give them shit back they really take it to heart? I think part of the problem is my own strong Fi means that it annoys me when someone does this where other types might just see it as funny.

I personally see it as a sign of insecurity and unhealthiness but perhaps there is some other explanation?

[Ritella]

Give an example.
I find that Fe types make fun of people/gossip a lot and I will be inclined to do it more when in their presence. I do make fun of people, but with the sort of back idea that I basically make fun of anything and everything (including myself). Sometimes, I guess, people don't know that and will think I am singling people out and being cruel. And, I suppose it still is offensive. However, I really can not take most things seriously.

[meatburger]

Give an example.
I find that Fe types make fun of people/gossip a lot and I will be inclined to do it more when in their presence. I do make fun of people, but with the sort of back idea that I basically make fun of anything and everything (including myself). Sometimes, I guess, people don't know that and will think I am singling people out and being cruel. And, I suppose it still is offensive. However, I really can not take most things seriously.

When it happens its basically out of the blue. For example an INFj i know got a good grade at his assignment and i congratulated him on it and said wow high distinction and his reply was "no shit sherlock". This type of language totally perplexes me considering he should be happy. That wasn't an example of making fun though.

About 15 minutes ago i said on facebook that i had to pay money back to the government (about $1000). Another guy not sure his type went "hahahahahahaha". Then the INFj said "Laughing at him isn't mean..... it's human nature..... the one thing in the world more dangerous then the Hadron Collider is us letting our ego go unchecked. we have to damage each others every so often"

Quoted word for word. Dont get me wrong i wasn't offended i dont give a toss but i called him out and said that is rubbish. This same INFj in conversation will call me dumb etc for no apparent reason. I just dont like it because it disrupts my natural harmony. What makes me almost laugh to myself is that these same INFj's are constantly complaining that they feel like the odd one out and that no one likes them. I can see some social changes they could make that would be totally amazing for them but i dont tell them because of their douchebaggery.

[Ritella]

When it happens its basically out of the blue. For example an INFj i know got a good grade at his assignment and i congratulated him on it and said wow high distinction and his reply was "no shit sherlock". This type of language totally perplexes me considering he should be happy. That wasn't an example of making fun though.

About 15 minutes ago i said on facebook that i had to pay money back to the government (about $1000). Another guy not sure his type went "hahahahahahaha". Then the INFj said "Laughing at him isn't mean..... it's human nature..... the one thing in the world more dangerous then the Hadron Collider is us letting our ego go unchecked. we have to damage each others every so often"

Quoted word for word. Dont get me wrong i wasn't offended i dont give a toss but i called him out and said that is rubbish. This same INFj in conversation will call me dumb etc for no apparent reason. I just dont like it because it disrupts my natural harmony. What makes me almost laugh to myself is that these same INFj's are constantly complaining that they feel like the odd one out and that no one likes them. I can see some social changes they could make that would be totally amazing for them but i dont tell them because of their douchebaggery.

OH. I think in both cases the INFJ is being really sarcastic.
like i would say "no shit sherlock" to mean "i KNOW that's a good grade. I'm so happy!"
and i think when the EII posted the facebook comment he was actually subtley commenting on your friend's "ahahahahah," as in "good job showing compassion." The "damage each other every so often" comment basically means he thinks your friend is the one being damaging toward you.

[meatburger]

OH. I think in both cases the INFJ is being really sarcastic.
like i would say "no shit sherlock" to mean "i KNOW that's a good grade. I'm so happy!"
and i think when the EII posted the facebook comment he was actually subtley commenting on your friend's "ahahahahah," as in "good job showing compassion." The "damage each other every so often" comment basically means he thinks your friend is the one being damaging toward you.

Yeah he was basically saying that people should be brought down every now and then. I dont agree at all.

[Ritella]

Yeah he was basically saying that people should be brought down every now and then. I dont agree at all.

yeah but i think he might have been offhandedly disagreeing with that, like if he were saying it in a more sarcastic manner.

[Kim]

OH. I think in both cases the INFJ is being really sarcastic.
like i would say "no shit sherlock" to mean "i KNOW that's a good grade. I'm so happy!"
and i think when the EII posted the facebook comment he was actually subtley commenting on your friend's "ahahahahah," as in "good job showing compassion." The "damage each other every so often" comment basically means he thinks your friend is the one being damaging toward you.

Yes, that's what I understood those comments to mean.

Edited to add: If you are like me, Meatburger, then you easily miss the sarcasm because you immediately react to the negativity and because you don't want to deal with it, you don't take the time to put the Ne to work.

[meatburger]

I don't like making fun of people, unless they are friends, and unless the other person finds it funny as well. I also don't like "mob" laughter towards somebody, where everyone laughs save for the person being made fun at. The only reason I would laugh a bit at someone else's "misfortune" is to help them not take it so seriously, which I think everyone naturally does, and try to find the humor in the bad. What you are describing is behavior that I would have done maybe back in early high school, and seems immature.

Yes, that's what I understood those comments to mean.

Edited to add: If you are like me, Meatburger, then you easily miss the sarcasm because you immediately react to the negativity and because you don't want to deal with it, you don't take the time to put the Ne to work.

Sarcasm doesn't work over the internet i dont think

I will give you an alternative explanation. I am constantly councilling these guys with their problems but i dont need councilling myself. This creates a power differential that they feel they must try to stop. Hehe but maybe thats a good example of my Se role function. What annoys me by FAR the most out of all of this is that i would love to have INFj's as friends but they just constantly disrupt the the Fi. Ive got this dream of the INFj being this really nice and kind person who i can talk to and who cares about others. It just seems to me that the ones i know are too caught up in their own problems.

[jewels]

Type aside, some people are just not fun to be around. That would annoy me too, especially because you know if you said that to them (whether you were being "sarcastic" or not) they would burst into tears...I had an INFj friend like that who would say really bitchy things about people, but she had really low self-esteem. I also wondered how she could be an INFj with all of that Fi and be so bitchy...

For instance, there was an old woman by the side of a parade who had a small foldable seat she was sitting on. It wasn't bothering anyone and the lady was very old. Her family was also there trying to take care of her and let her see the parade. The INFj didn't like that the woman got to have this foldable little chair thing. So she stood behind this probably 80 year old frail woman calling her a fat ass (not exactly so she could hear, but it was in earshot). And she kept telling me the woman should have just stayed home because she was going to die soon anyway. I mean, maybe some people would think that was funny? I didn't.

Another time she started screaming at a girl who she thought had tried to cut in line at a carnival. She was calling her a bitch and everything and yelling at her...and this INFj was over 30, so it wasn't like she was in HS.

INFj or not, some people are just, well, whatever you want to call that. I didn't stay friends w/ that one...

And anyone who calls you dumb has some issues and I wouldn't want to be around them.

When it happens its basically out of the blue. For example an INFj i know got a good grade at his assignment and i congratulated him on it and said wow high distinction and his reply was "no shit sherlock". This type of language totally perplexes me considering he should be happy. That wasn't an example of making fun though.

About 15 minutes ago i said on facebook that i had to pay money back to the government (about $1000). Another guy not sure his type went "hahahahahahaha". Then the INFj said "Laughing at him isn't mean..... it's human nature..... the one thing in the world more dangerous then the Hadron Collider is us letting our ego go unchecked. we have to damage each others every so often"

Quoted word for word. Dont get me wrong i wasn't offended i dont give a toss but i called him out and said that is rubbish. This same INFj in conversation will call me dumb etc for no apparent reason. I just dont like it because it disrupts my natural harmony. What makes me almost laugh to myself is that these same INFj's are constantly complaining that they feel like the odd one out and that no one likes them. I can see some social changes they could make that would be totally amazing for them but i dont tell them because of their douchebaggery.

[Smilingeyes]

This thread only applies to Ne subtypes.
And they don't really have strong Fi.

[meatburger]

And anyone who calls you dumb has some issues and I wouldn't want to be around them.

It doesn't really offend me at all. He is a social retard.

This thread only applies to Ne subtypes.
And they don't really have strong Fi.

I believe that. I would guess Ne subtype for them both even though i dont agree with subtypes much. I would love to meet an Fi subtype one.

[Lobo]

So why do they do it? This is only guys i have observed mind you but ive seen it in three of them. They can be snarky and will call you ugly and stuff like that. It actually annoys me greatly because i personally never ever ever pay out anyone. Yet they are supposedly stronger in than i am? Plus, they cannot take it in return. If you give them shit back they really take it to heart? I think part of the problem is my own strong Fi means that it annoys me when someone does this where other types might just see it as funny.

I personally see it as a sign of insecurity and unhealthiness but perhaps there is some other explanation?

When it happens its basically out of the blue. For example an INFj i know got a good grade at his assignment and i congratulated him on it and said wow high distinction and his reply was "no shit sherlock". This type of language totally perplexes me considering he should be happy. That wasn't an example of making fun though.

About 15 minutes ago i said on facebook that i had to pay money back to the government (about $1000). Another guy not sure his type went "hahahahahahaha". Then the INFj said "Laughing at him isn't mean..... it's human nature..... the one thing in the world more dangerous then the Hadron Collider is us letting our ego go unchecked. we have to damage each others every so often"

Quoted word for word. Dont get me wrong i wasn't offended i dont give a toss but i called him out and said that is rubbish. This same INFj in conversation will call me dumb etc for no apparent reason. I just dont like it because it disrupts my natural harmony. What makes me almost laugh to myself is that these same INFj's are constantly complaining that they feel like the odd one out and that no one likes them. I can see some social changes they could make that would be totally amazing for them but i dont tell them because of their douchebaggery.

I don't like making fun of people, unless they are friends, and unless the other person finds it funny as well. I also don't like "mob" laughter towards somebody, where everyone laughs save for the person being made fun at. The only reason I would laugh a bit at someone else's "misfortune" is to help them not take it so seriously, which I think everyone naturally does, and try to find the humor in the bad. What you are describing is behavior that I would have done maybe back in early high school, and seems immature.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I had an EII youth worker at Starr one time do this to me. She would make fun of my voice and my laugh and stuff. It didn't really bother me though cause I know deep down she was a sweetheart or whatever. But overall like most Deltas she took me too seriously or something and I didn't like that, also like most black women she seemed to have certain issues regarding homosexuality, that I didn't agree with- but I think she just didn't want to see me hurt. I'm not really sure. I just felt weirded out by her taking me so seriously and like making sure I stayed out of trouble. I felt guilty/self-conscious around her, like I always had to 'do the right thing' or God would send a lightning bolt my way.

I'll just say that I enjoy the way other *Betas* treat me. I don't like to be taken just as a joke (Alphas) and I don't like to be treated too seriously. (Deltas) Gammas are good about this as well, and seem to know the right balance of serious/jokeyness to have with me.

[UDP]

So why do they do it? This is only guys i have observed mind you but ive seen it in three of them. They can be snarky and will call you ugly and stuff like that. It actually annoys me greatly because i personally never ever ever pay out anyone. Yet they are supposedly stronger in than i am? Plus, they cannot take it in return. If you give them shit back they really take it to heart? I think part of the problem is my own strong Fi means that it annoys me when someone does this where other types might just see it as funny.

I personally see it as a sign of insecurity and unhealthiness but perhaps there is some other explanation?

mmm it perhaps is more common from the Ne subtypes, actually. It's a big generalization, but, thinking about it from my experience, it is so.

That's also why I'm drawn to Fi subs more so, it seems.


Sometimes it's more unhealthy and more insecurity based (think about E6s), sometimes it's more playful. mm