Ding ding!
Fake it till you make it?
I've worked in some pretty intense working environments where things happen and have to move quickly. I'm not paid to sit around on my duff all day. Wouldn't that be nice? Being a family man now with a working spouse and two young kids, there's always tons of stuff that needs to be done on the homefront too. You just get so used to doing things and getting things done after awhile that it becomes second nature. Or maybe you experience the pain of procrastination enough times that you finally manage to break free of that and become a little more proactive.
I'll quote crazedrat here, or at least one of their apparent fifteen different accounts, that I got out of Golden's sig. No idea where this was originally posted.
Could not agree more.
Things started up
very quickly with my wife, closely resembling an Activity relationship. There was also the over-stimulation or yo-yo effect where you'd need some time apart too. This was an issue early on, but we learned to understand each other better and not break up because of it. Even today it's still most closely matches Activity and not Duality, and it's great. My parents are conflictors, an SEI and an LIE. Yes there's 'tension' and awkwardness, but the fact is they love each other and have found ways around this. My wife and I have turned whatever awkwardness there is in an activity style relationship and turned it into a bit of a game which just makes things spicier and even better.
She's definitely ESI, and not SEE too. You don't need to have a duality relationship in order to have a very good long-term, loving, and passionate relationship and I think that's very important to realize. Reading the socionics.com duality description, after it gets done idealizing and glorifying relations of duality, they then spend the next
three paragraphs warning about NOT idealizing it too much along with all of the other pitfalls and how there's more to it than that. And indeed there is. In the case of my wife and I, we both eventually wanted to have a family, we both highly valued education, had similar work ethics, views on life, political orientation, literally everything else was a good match. So what little awkwardness there was from activity vs duality was easily dealt with. If a bunch of those things weren't in sync then even a duality would not be enough to hold things together, which is also mentioned in the socionics.com duality description.