Someone give me a clear difference between a Fi ego and Fe ego?

[golden]

How important is it to you to even name a feeling?

Imo, it's not all that important to name the feeling, it's enough for me to figure out what parts of someone/thing I'm attracted to, and which parts I'm not.
I do feel 'angry' and after a bit of agitation and ranting and raving I'll recognize that I'm feeling 'anger', but "anger" doesn't identify anything useful. Identifying it might make me look to see what it is that is angering me. And from there I can build a 'structure/model' of the situation/event to help me better understand the situation/event. But I can do that without labeling the emotion.

As for altering my 'anger', I'll resort to (Si) in the form of things like deep breathing, walking to get the energy out, and other self soothing activities.

As for emotional chaos, my interest is more in understanding what's causing it than anything else. This i consider a fault of mine. A person will be upset, ranting/crying to me, and I'll be asking questions about what happened, what exactly did the person say, what was going on when they said it. I'll get downright nosey and personal. I KNOW it's inappropriate and that I should be focused on validating their feelings or soothing them. But I'm way to curious...aka nosey. ... I might say things like "that's a normal thing to be upset about". But mostly I'll try to help them perceive the situation in a slightly different light, or in a 'fuller' way, as a way of helping to ease their negative feelings. (Note: i realize much of this is the combo of Ne, Fi, Te, Fe.)

What do you do/think in such situations? When a person comes to you upset or crying?

It's vitally important to me to put a name to what I'm feeling. Otherwise, my emotions can paralyze me. I can't seem to come up with any solutions at all until I put more clarity around a problematic state of being.

If someone comes to me upset or crying, I guess I want to know what they think will be helpful. If I don't have a good sense for that, or I feel like my efforts aren't on the mark, I might say so. I might ask them if they'd rather I listen, or what. When someone deals with my own upset by asking lots of questions about how I got that way, I sometimes have to work hard to remind myself they're not trying to imply that I need to justify my feelings to them, or that they aren't looking for a reason to say I'm wrong.

 

I have a friend right now about to give birth who is being treated terribly by her doctors, and I've known all along this would happen. So I'm one of the people she turns to to explain the latest thing that's going wrong with this bullshit medical situation.

In today's installment, I listened to all she said and acknowledged the accuracy of her perceptions and the validity of her point of view and her desires and disappointments. I told her that no matter how the birth proceeds, nothing in this scenario is about her being a failure or not doing all she could, that she's caught up in a system that is essentially anti-woman and doesn't treat birth as a natural process, and it's wrong, and I'm sorry she's experiencing that.

I also advised her, once again, to hire a doula even if it's not going to be a crunchy-granola birth, because she and her husband will benefit from having an advocate in the hospital and should be free to focus on themselves and their baby. And I bought a bunch of important stuff from her baby registry that no one got her (diaper pail! bottles! come on, people, these are basics) and that she'll need immediately.