Mrrrmaid Video Typing + some questionnaire answers!

[golden]

I’ll give an example of a caregiver I know and mentioned earlier. SEI, a visual artist, a homebody, a stoner, loves animals. Sometimes she will cook, her place is not much cleaner than mine but organized differently, and when it gets messy she’s unperturbed by it whereas I am thrown off. She’s married to a pretty eccentric guy and accommodates the eccentricity very well. She likes kids a lot and has good rapport with them but probably won’t ever have any.

She is not someone who’s taking care of any adult babymen, I am pretty sure she’d find that very draining and offputting. It’s fair to say the men in her life have provided her equal care as she’s given them. But she will still do very thoughtful things, like make a painting just for you based on your favorite colors and ideas. She’ll buy really comfortable objects, like the softest bedsheets you ever felt, which I’d have had a hard time finding even if I were looking for them. She’s a cozy and adorable person. She’s reassuring and wants you to feel good.

So I’d say this comes down to her point of view, her vibe, the climate she creates around her. Not some stereotype of a 1950s housewife.

[SaveYourself]

I’ll give an example of a caregiver I know and mentioned earlier. SEI, a visual artist, a homebody, a stoner, loves animals. Sometimes she will cook, her place is not much cleaner than mine but organized differently, and when it gets messy she’s unperturbed by it whereas I am thrown off. She’s married to a pretty eccentric guy and accommodates the eccentricity very well. She likes kids a lot and has good rapport with them but probably won’t ever have any.

She is not someone who’s taking care of any adult babymen, I am pretty sure she’d find that very draining and offputting. It’s fair to say the men in her life have provided her equal care as she’s given them. But she will still do very thoughtful things, like make a painting just for you based on your favorite colors and ideas. She’ll buy really comfortable objects, like the softest bedsheets you ever felt, which I’d have had a hard time finding even if I were looking for them. She’s a cozy and adorable person. She’s reassuring and wants you to feel good.

So I’d say this comes down to her point of view, her vibe, the climate she creates around her. Not some stereotype of a 1950s housewife.

This was good - but still not something I relate to. I think - even when we put 50s housewife stereotypes aside - I can't stress enough how far I go to avoid caregiving responsibilities. I don't date eccentric guys (they're usually strangely practical and boring when compared to me - even my parents have mentioned I tend to shoot for the boring guy, leaving me to be the eccentric and fun one). Animals I love, but I'm unsure about taking care of one. Kids I find okay and really don't think I want one. The mess in the house I can relate to - I'm usually unperturbed (except in other people's houses, then I get twitchy and uncomfortable even if mine is way worse). I'm not very cozy. Definitely tend towards being cutesy (which you flagged up as being a sign against EIE, and I said similar things above). I do give gifts pretty well though - I think because I'm so picky about gifts myself and people so often get it wrong for me I try to knock it out of the park for other people. I'll listen to what they talk about wanting / needing / like in the run up to their birthday and will maybe go as far as pretending I forgot and ordering it directly to their house instead of giving it to them directly so it's an exciting mystery when the perfect thing arrives

But outside of birthdays I don't do gifts. At a party I hosted recently someone else ended up taking over the cooking because I was avoiding doing it, even though it was my party (funnily enough, I think this guy is actually an infantile but he ended up doing the caregiving work). I am more inclined to do this sort of thing for friends but never ever do it for men I'm dating - who, like I said, tend to practical and more equipped to doing it anyway. Not just I won't do it, I'll find ways and reasons to wriggle out of doing it. I don't tend to have the mindset where I am actively looking for opportunities to help, practical or not. I think I'm very good at dramatic caregiving gestures (like gifts, lifting people up, defending them, throwing a party) but not on the day-to-day when I'm generally too self-absorbed. Definitely a Rachel, not a Monica.

Xiaviay used the word 'soothing', you've used 'cozy' and 'reassuring' and I'm not any of these things. And when people seek these things from me (like the boyfriend who was sick, or if someone is looking for emotional reassurance) I tend to try and worm out of it asap and feel really uncomfortable being in the position where they are depending on me for support.

[Desert Financial]

I don't date eccentric guys (they're usually strangely practical and boring when compared to me - even my parents have mentioned I tend to shoot for the boring guy, leaving me to be the eccentric and fun one).

What would you think about dating a guy who actually panned out to be more eccentric than you?

You mentioned that you enjoyed people who expressed their (nerdy) passions and interests over a sustained period of time. Many eccentric people tend to express themselves this way.

[SaveYourself]

What would you think about dating a guy who actually panned out to be more eccentric than you?

You mentioned that you enjoyed people who expressed their (nerdy) passions and interests over a sustained period of time. Many eccentric people tend to express themselves this way.

I actually meant nerdy in the boring-ist sense of like, an interest that isn't fun and exciting but something the person is really into. I guess like if someone talked to me (or anyone on this forum) about typology. It's eccentric in the sense that it's a bit out of the norm but not in that it really affects lifestyle, which is how I took Golden to mean 'eccentric'. I like people who study things for fun. My BFs also have had nerdy hobbies (Warhammer, D&D, Yugioh etc) but all of these things tend to make them seem more boring to the average person rather than eccentric. But this might just be me having positive connotations with the word eccentric to mean cool, fun, wacky and nerd with boring, down to earth (though the two could probably overlap in the sciences - like Doc Brown)