Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
I think I understand you. I'm just not sure what the final sentence means. I think I am similar in terms of controlling my behavior.
I think I fucked it up. Damn computers, make everything blend into one.

She's seen me go toe-to-toe with people at work, and point out to my boss things that he did wrong or could have done better. But she's never seen me get "emotionally angry" at people, or "flip out". On the other hand, I've pointed out what people did wrong and been angry at them for doing so. So I think to her it's more that I don't seek to emotionally rouse people.
Not that many people seem to have actually seen me flip out. But like in the past I've often got kind of violent depending on circumstances, and at least I get into this kind of needing-to-immediately-deal-with-things way...

What's emotionally angry though?

Going away from your post and talking some about myself: It's misleading sometimes how I am, I think people particularly are thrown off by how I act. I always have to seem to explain myself to them more, whereas, Fi valuing people seem to "get it" without much explanation. Fe people don't seem to understand how I can be so intense or "go getter" but without that much emotion. It's more a direct force or movement. There is energy into my voice or actions but it is not asking for an emotional response or responding to an emotional setting, so it seems to throw Fe valuing people off in that way. The matter there seems to be whether or not they understand who I am in a fundamental way, which essentially takes them (and most people) time.
I don't get it either. What do you mean when you say you're intense but without emotion?

She was generally serious about what she said of me. It didn't bother me at all, because what she considers "boring" or "not boring" doesn't particularly bother me.

A lot of how she sees me as boring is that I follow zero fe leads that she makes, when she tries to make things more fun (in her eyes). I imagine, although I never addressed this with her, that I seem odd, because sometimes I will seem more "humorous" than others - and it has more to do with what I feel, rather than what efforts she makes.

Also, we first "met" at work, generally. So I seemed extremely serious and extremely boring, at first. This is because she tries to ease the mood with Fe. We likely would have never encountered each other if not for 1) some unusual circumstances and 2) certain shared interests. There was also physical attraction involved, some.
Hmm, I can be serious and boring at work too. I mean, I could stick out a bit, I wouldn't completely disappear or anything. But like, I hardly did small talk or anything. I didn't really make it very personal.

Except, when I first started working there was this secretary, who often seemed to try and "shift" me a bit. So anyway, on fridays we used to have a few drinks at work often, and she was at the supermarket with me, and we were getting beer, and she didn't seem to have any idea what she was doing, in an active way. And we're at the checkout, and she's acting weird in some way or another, reasonably far back from me. So I kind of look at her, and then she seems to start acting a bit more sensibly, and anyway, somehow the checkout operator decides that she's my girlfriend, and it's like uh., what's wrong with him. Blah blah., Then I think I scabbed a cigarette off her., which seemed to be as close as we ever got. But hey, she used to be pretty animated with me. But like I think it's partially because I wasn't that responsive. Like when the checkout operator asked if she was my girlfriend I don't think I actually said anything, I just thought they were weird, and continued my transaction, not really answering either way, because they were some kind of meaningless dwango.

Anyway, when I look back, it's like I actually acted pretty closed, and I kind of often just kind of didn't respond much, but that just seemed to maker her more "keen" and kind of "try and understand where I was coming from" more or something. And it's like, then I'd just simplify our interactions to scabbing cigarettes off her.

As far as doing things, well, I actually do significantly more 'work'/school activities than she does. And I do things outside of it as well. I think there is also a little bit of me being boring in that I'm friends with her but I don't pursue her to do things with me, which INFps seem to generally expect and want. This isn't because I'm wanting her to invite me to do stuff, but, it's that I just don't want to do things with her. "I can do whatever I like", and I generally do.
Heh. Tell her she'll just get in the way!

Yeah. IEIs say that sometimes as a sort of "negative Fe move", like them expressing "hey this isn't fun, do something about it". But that doesn't do anything to me.
Hahaha.

If anything, like with the one IEI I/we can't talk to/gether for more than 10 minutes because we are so adverse, it makes me want to distance myself from the person
Mm distance.