Originally Posted by
totalize
Well I have to say that most of my examples where back when I had a big social group/circle, or in the less personal work situations I've found myself in. In smaller, more tightly knit groups, it's something I'd do less.
There have been times where there have been people who don't like me, of course. That's just natural. In some cases I think: why don't they like me? and can't find a good reason. In others there's a good reason and OK, possibly because we have conflicting interests. It doesn't fuel me or motivate me (although I do consciously make myself not engage in petty activity) and I'd rather it's not there, but at the same time I'm not demoralised or intimidated by it.
The victim thing is interesting. Personally I would prefer not to have any opposition. Then I can have whatever I want! (though sometimes I do burn off steam with competitive activities). But I am able to respect people who can fight me on things. Sometimes it's fun to fight with them just for the sake of it.
My philosophy on emnity is:
Is someone hostile to me?
Can they hurt me or my interests?
If not, they're not worth thinking about.
If they can, who is on their side?
How can I turn them to being on my side?
Can the majority be persuaded to agree with my position?
Can I use that agreement against the other person if they're threatening my interests?
Like I said, I have not had too many enemies in my life. Mostly they were people I had to be cordial to because we were in a similar group, either socially, or work. But I like to know the stances between people so I can protect my interests. The worst thing is being told what to do and to have no control over it at all [I think all gammas can understand this], and that to me is true hostility, not just stupid name calling etc. So being able to rebuff these efforts and turn them on other people is always useful.