I'm trying to think of a less poetic way of explaining how I experience Ni. I find it difficult because – I think someone already mentioned this (in this thread?) – it seems as though it
prefers to remain mysterious even to itself or its users. In short: most of the time I'm rather baffled by the way my mind works.
Someone recently said I give too much credit to Ni as I was explaining a precognition I had, but I don't think I do. That's just the way it works. I had an epiphany some while ago about the way Se and Ni work together – it's as though I gain information by looking
past my surroundings, and I might literally just stare at something for extended periods of time, spacing out, and then all of a sudden there's a sort of a "blip" in my head and I realize my unconscious had been processing information the whole time which lead to an understanding of something. Which is why I just often suck in new information perhaps without fully understanding it, because I can oftentimes trust that once I have it there, my mind will subconsciously keep processing it until it's time for it to surface again and sort of settle in properly.
I recall someone once saying that Ni is sort of like Ti, but without the logical steps it needs to arrive to a conclusion. I think a similar comparison has been made with Ne and Ni, but anyway. I arrive to all sorts of conclusions without fully knowing why. Combined with Te PoLR, this has sabotaged all of my math tests in my entire life. I always get minus points for not including the calculation in my answer, just the correct outcome
Socially speaking, being Ni base sort of really sucks. You simply cannot communicate the way your head works to anyone but other Ni bases. Being an IEI, I can mend that a bit with Fe, but I have never wondered for a minute why a lot of ILIs have prolems relating to other people. And it's so strange meeting another Ni base! I recently met a slightly schizophrenic ILI. He was telling me about some models and theories he'd been constructing lately, and as I listened, I realized I hadn't understood a word he said, yet still understood what he
meant, as a whole. Some parts of the conversation were just us two cutting each other off and completing each others' thoughts – and not sentences, but thoughts. As though there was just this air of understanding what we meant.
I've come to hate it when people ask me what I usually think about. Umm? Colours? Abstract patterns? No kidding. That's pretty much all I can see besides some random mental chatter. That and hot imaginary sex. What you gon make of that?
It's weird, but meditation has helped me understand the way my mind operates a lot better. It helps when you learn to sort of "rest" your awareness, all the while becoming more and more all-encompassing. I'm also glad to have switched my perception from mind-body dualism to monism. I feel less like I'm torn in two, half of me in my body and half of me in my mind, and feel more like I'm on a bridge in between that makes them into one. I don't know if I put that very well but that's the best I can do.
As for Ni being time-based... I think a lot of people sort of misunderstand what that means. An SLE was once sorely disappointed after asking me where I was going with my life... I think he expected me to have this script containing everything that was ever going to happen to me, when in fact I just usually have these vague abstract images of some distant future and I require something more tangible to start from before I can actually concretely see where I'm heading and what leads where. When the time comes, I
will know, but only as it's already approaching and near. I mean, yeah, there
are patterns and cycles too but the farther they are, the more vague they usually seem. It's just like regular seeing. The farther things are, the less detail you see. Ugh.
T.S. Eliot's Four Quartets in four dimensions.
I had a great last paragraph/bottom line in my head but it escaped. I paid a visit to a retirement home last week and found the old age fascinating. Old people make no sense and it makes so much sense. I could seriously almost taste the strings that had pulled them there.