Romancing Styles for ISTp-ENFp, INFj-ESTj dualities

[Marie84]

I saw these on a Google translated Russian forum


*English translations by Ssmall*


DYAD: CONTROLLING (LSE) - HUMANIST (EII)

CONTROLLING

Outwardly severe and businesslike, this sociotype contains in itself a tendency towards two quite different types of love: Pragma and Eros: fire and ice, realistic calculations and passionate affection makes him an internally contradicted person. He prefers to be ruled by reason and does not follow his feelings. Businesslike interests usually prevails over feelings and even over the pleasure from the contact with a loved person. However, periodically it arranges for its sensations a real celebration.

This is a caring and reliable partner. He does all that is possible for the one he loves. His partner might feel a lack of compliments and verbal expression of feelings, but Controlling proves his love in practice, taking on himself most of the concerns and is fully satisfied if his partner is involved in the common matters and is accomplishing the tasks which require only attention and patience.

He needs a partner - assistant which won't force his own will, methods or will dictate his own terms. Controlling might appear totally dry, controlling and demanding person if he wouldn't be to a degree softened by the presence of sensual love - Eros. Inclination towards this form of emotional behavior sometimes makes him romantic and generous in relation to the object of his feelings.

He is capable to be faithful to his partner if the partner satisfies him sexually or if he values such partner in life for practical reasons. His feelings can burn long and vividly, although healthy pragmatism is not alien to him. In the absence of reciprocity he is capable of being guided by the feeling of duty, able to resist a new interest (in a person). He obeys to Pragma his erotic feelings also although he can recall his past lover for a long time.

HUMANIST

Combination of diplomatic Storge and inventive Filia makes him an ideal life partner for Controlling who is quite a difficult partner. On one hand Humanist allows him to be the head of the family but on the other hand he demands from a partner mutual understanding and respect to his interests. He specifically checks that he would not have differences with Controlling in worldview, personal behavior in regards to others, in upbringing of children, on future plans and everyday matters.

In union with Storge - faithful family love, such manifestations of love of Filia hardens even more the union with quick tempered, proud and authoritarian Controlling partner. Humanist like no other finds approach to his dual. He can hold himself in control and do not say something unnecessary.

Humanist presents his claims in such a form that his partner becomes embarrassed by his unethical behavior and sharp statements. Talks about relationships in this case ends up not with a quarrel but with a reconciliation or with a promise to reexamine his behavior.

Humanist has an inherent patience and tact, caution and diplomacy but he is natural with those who he loves and prefers to speak the truth or to keep silent. His love Storge seeks happy harmonious family life, full of kindness and mutual concessions. But not onesided! Humanist - not a Victim sociotype. Even if he allows to be guided in practical matters due to his weak ability to deal with difficulties or absence of forceful qualities and confidence in itself, this does not mean he will allow his partner to cross the line dividing a caring friend from a heartless dictator.

Humanist uses up a lot of mental forces on re-education of his partner and in time makes him closer to his ideal. If the partner does not go for compromises, does not listen to his counsel he can break this union. Controlling is set to the creation of durable family: upon sensing such a threat he can do everything in order to fix the relationship.

The spiritual side of love for the Humanist means much more than the erotic one, furthermore he is shy and therefore needs an initiative taking partner who will actively show his desires. In love Humanist is restrained, mistrustful, observant. Little deviations in the behavior of the partner he receives painfully and does everything he can in order to preserve reciprocity in feelings. Even if in order to do this it is necessary to demonstrate offense and alienation. Humanist forgives regretting dual and tries to never remind him of the reason for their disagreement.

Controlling can't stand discussion on personal matter and furthermore discussing relationship problems. Due to this he is inclined to do hasty conclusions and frequently commits ethical slips which complicates his relationships with people surrounding him. Lack of patience and self-control sometimes makes him sharp and tactless, he doesn't have enough not only diplomacy but also self-criticism. Due to this he needs the patience and perseverance of the Humanist who will tactfully and consistently re-educates his dual. Humanist acts not only as an educator but constantly he acts on the conscience of Controlling who is sufficiently sensitive and high moral principles are not alien to him.


INSPIRER (IEE) - THE MASTER (SLI)

INSPIRER

Like the Humanist, has a combination of forms of the love Of [filia] and [Storge].

But [Filia] here predominates and determines the tendency of inspirer toward the harmonious of <[semeynoy]> of love only when it perceives complete spiritual proximity with the partner. In contrast to the humanist, this is - passionate, irregular, unrestrained in his emotions person. As ethics and ex-grassRT, it experiences great interest in the new people. Therefore for its partner it is necessary to be sufficient to competitive in order to for a long time hold the attention of this uncommon and agitated satellite of life.

Inspirer - large romantic can for long be in the captivity of his illusions. He is capable to idealize his love and its object so strongly, which can for long store faithfulness to its ideal in the soul, even having no hopes for reciprocity. True, it will not sit, idly. It will conquer reason, soul and, if it is must, then the body of the human, who is for it super-value, and it will make this until it attains reciprocity. After being disappointed in its ideal, it deeply and strongly survives.

To it now and then is not sufficient the common sense, it is capable to accomplish rash behavior and to go on to occasion in its feelings. At the same time, because of the presence in its emotional behavior of the component of the love Of [storge], he tries to spare its close ones and not to create complications in their life. It so will penetrate by empathy which can for the good of others endow by its own interests.

Inspirer little is adapted to the life and greatly he needs concern, attention, sensitivity, patronage and support of more realistic, more practical and quicker in the everyday problems person. But it will not carry, when they roughly govern it, something to it they tie, force it to suffer. It instinctively moves away itself from the partner, who causes sufferings to it.

It is not capable it takes a long time to be jealous and to compete with the possible rivals. It will not begin to tie itself and to attain reciprocity, if he feels, that it they disregard. Because of the tendency toward the love Of [filia] it is approached equality in everything and if someone for it much means, then it must be out of the competition for its elected official. Will not otherwise obtain development the other side of its relations - [Storge].

It is disposed to the sincere relations and it heavily transfers fraud in any form; therefore its satellite must be accurate and truthful. For the inspirer, as for the humanist, is very important the spiritual side of love, but it attaches also great significance to erotic relations. The absence of initiative from the side of partner, makes it necessary to doubt the completeness of his feelings.

Inspirer is capable to convert love into the poem, to make by its sense of his life, but he can unexpectedly be disappointed in his satellite, without having met complete reciprocity, or if that does not satisfy its high ethical requirements. This makes with its unpredictable partner.

MASTER

Master, who combines extremes - the forms of love eros and pragma - as no one other is capable to give to its partner everything which is necessary for the family happiness. From the erotic of enjoyment, capability for prolonged sensual and spiritual inclination - to the stability and the reliability in the personal life, the complete touching concern, the attention and the mutual aid in everything. In contrast to the manager, in it is less than the pragmatism and it is more than tendency toward the harmonious relations with the partner.

Master greatly worries about the sincere comfort of close people. It is usually constant in its attachments, it is restrained in behavior and statements. Greatly it survives, if it involuntarily offends someone. True, it is not always capable to immediately recognize its fault. Pragma makes the conservatism of love with its sufficiently difficult partner, but it willingly goes towards the dear person and it attempts to restore lost harmony, if it sees that this desire is mutual. Love eros forces to his much to pardon his elected official, but another feeling - pragma follows the fact so that these sins would not exceed the scope of that permitted.

It is very restrained in the manifestation of feelings, but large sensuality is hidden under the mask of coldness. Master is disposed to the durable and harmonious relations, such as only can give two most suitable for this forms of relations - [Storge] and pragma. It is also ready to divide the interests of its partner and to reach with it the necessary spiritual proximity for complete harmony in the interrelations, which for this dual pair - main value in the life. Both partners it actively are approached.

Trying in everything to be such, such as it they loved and they respected, demanding to himself master strives for personal increase and development. Thus he becomes sufficient to competitive in order to maintain constant comparisons with others. Furthermore, master loves passionately and sincerely, true, not for the outside eyes. He knows how to wake up the sensuality of inspirer, who frequently doubts his desires and who badly realizes them.

Inspirer now and then seems it by the capricious child, to educate whom with the constant condescension and the love - one pleasure. Imperious and confident in themselves people do not please master, their activity - even in the erotic - suppresses it and does not leave place for its own creation. This realist, who too sensibly looks at the life, the optimism of eternal child- inspirer, which helps commands to avoid grief and despondency.

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