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Last edited by female; 02-17-2008 at 01:37 AM.
It sounds more like personal management problems than type issues. She just needs to be more mature about things. Call her out on that actually, see what happens.
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
What type are you? It might be less to do with her being INFj and something to do with whatever particular relationship (in Socionics terms) you have.
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.-Mark Twain
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
If an INFj is being that emotionally expressive and openly angry, that is exactly not a good sign....
You sure she is not ISTj or ISFj?
Posts I wrote in the past contain less nuance.
If you're in this forum to learn something, be careful. Lots of misplaced toxicity.
~an extraverted consciousness is unable to believe in invisible forces.
~a certain mysterious power that may prove terribly fascinating to the extraverted man, for it touches his unconscious.
She sounds INFj to me. She's not ISTj or ISFj.Originally Posted by UDP III
ISTj.
You need to raise your mom's self-esteem more and let her know she's really appreciated, but in a kind of umm practical way. Sounds like she's an unhealthy INFj I think you got her right the first time. Remember INFjs are harsh to criticisms, and what you said felt like a personal attack TO HER even if you didn't mean that. Do not think she's just being over-sensitive though, that is way too simplistic. It's simply her functions and how she acts. You have to show her what she's doing wrong with lots of mixed with . Be logical about it in a calm, comforting way like a caring yet worldly psychologist. You saying 'but I like the roses' clashes with her because it simply sounds so Beta-ish. You are an INFp I know but just lay off the a bit. She doesn't know how to process that too well.
I don't think she's ISFj either. Also socioniocs.com sucks IMO, don't listen to a lot of the crap on there.
This can be an interesting experiment. Try to do what I suggested and see what the results were. Remember, tell her how she's being illogical NOT HOW she was being 'too sensitive' or 'taking things too harshly.' That is just gonna create a greater psychological distance. Think not over and over again in your head, but don't forget the either.
If anything we can try to find more about her type, it's mundane stuff about life that can really help us out I think.
I don't know if I would agree or disagree with the advice being given, but this caught my eye and I want to play with it a little.Originally Posted by introspectivedolphin
Maybe try saying what you would say minus the emotion? For example, a Fe-laden, "You're too sensitive!" focuses less on a logical assessment of the present circumstances, and more on a subjective, value judgement.
Dead-pan, "You're. Too. Sensitive," aloud. It almost completely eliminates the power and effect of the previous version. But realistically, who would say that kind of a statement in such a way? No one, of course - but I think it highlights the essence of a statement. You just need to switch over the specific language itself to whatever situation is at hand.
Or maybe nothing in here fits. Whatever works.
Oh yeah!!! They cannot handle at all. 4 years ago I was walking past a friend's house and saw his mum in the garden. I smiled and said "Hello how are you, just going for a jog" And she smiled back at me but didn't say a word. Not one word!! It was so akward. I mean when you ask someone "how are you", you would expect at the very least a simple "good thanks, how are you" - but not a peep out of this cold INFj.Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves
I ended up by saying sheepishly "See you later" and kept walking. At the time I thought she just had social anxiety problems or something like that. Now I realise she was just an INFj.
ISTj.
but smiling is a response... just not a verbal one.
EII
I'll tell you what
there is plenty wrong with me
but I fixed up a few old buildings
and I've planted a few trees.
You're right it is a response, but it's not a proper response. Social norms prescribe a verbal response in that situation.Originally Posted by rockclimber
ISTj.
bullshit... a smile is just as proper a response as anything else, social norms be damned.Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
You beat me to it. That's similar to what I wanted to say.Originally Posted by Bionicgoat
INTp
sx/sp
That's something my ENFp sister would say... but if you live in a society you're bound by social norms, otherwise... you're nowhere.Originally Posted by Mea
ISTj.
Aww. You are an ISTj aren't you!Originally Posted by mr_maguoo
I just naturally want to comment on this but i wont
ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin
“If you see a friend without a smile; give him one of yours.”Originally Posted by he died with a felafel
ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin
that quotes so sickly sweet it makes my teeth hurtOriginally Posted by meatburger
Haha yeah probablly likely to make Mr_Magoo run out out of this thread as fast as his legs can carry himOriginally Posted by Bionicgoat
ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin