Hello guys and girls! I have been going crazy because i can't decide whether i'm IEI or EII. I am absolutely sure I am INFX. On tests I get IEI 90% of the time and i strongly identify with the descriptions (apart from being very emotionally expressive - I'm pretty subdued with my feelings and am certainly no drama queen), but i also scored EII, and i can see myself in some parts of that description as well (being the peacemaker, conflict-avoidant E9).
As you can obviously tell English is not my first language, so I don't feel like I am able to answer very abstract questions in the forum's typing questionnaire. So instead I wrote a HUUUUUGE wall of text about moi (how self-centered of me) I hope at least some of you have the patience to read it or just skip through it and tell me what kind of air i give off (besides being a complete bitch). Pretty please help me, I would really like my answer once and for all. Thanks so much in advance!!! xoxo
- I am positive I am Enneagram 9w1 sx/sp, but i score on 4w5 almost as high
- I am VERY messy, disorganized, loose things all the time, live in a complete mess, am always late, you get the picture.. i am also lazy and often feeling tired and unenergetic, procrastinating all day long...
- I am very impulsive, always doing stupid things with bad consequences, but afterwards don't sweat it.
- I have very weird habits: my sleep patterns are fucked up, I am awake all night (reading interesting stuff, dancing around) and sleep till afternoon, I study two days before an exam and don't sleep for 48 h during that period etc...I am extremely unpractical and always do things in a weird, illogical ways, which drives other people crazy . I almost never exercise, don't take care of my health and eat quickly prepared food (I'm the worst cook, but I don't care much about food - I could eat the same food every day). I also absolutely hate all domestic chores.
- I come off as very warm, kind , soft, shy, polite, gentle, detached, confused and dreamy to most people, but among friends I am completely different. While strangers describe me as sweet, friends lovingly call me a judgemental bitch I am nice to people even if i don't like them because I HATE conflicts with all my heart.
- I am very sensitive to the emotional atmosphere around me. If people are grumpy, i become grumpy and if they are happy, I get happy. That is why harmony in my relations is of most importance to me. I am excellent at making other people feel good about themselves, stop fights between people, I'm a perfect diplomat. But i only use these tactics if I feel like it, if i really care about people or if I get something out of it. On the other hand, I am also very good at giving backhanded compliments, subtly lower peoples self-esteem and make people turn against each other in such a way, that I come out smelling of roses. But I only do this when I really don't like said people.
- i am very polite, watch what I say around people, have a lot of empathy (cry when other people cry, feel other people feelings), but am not always too concerned with other people problems. Although i always listen to them and try to make them feel better, I also feel like their problems are not my responsibility, unless something really bad has happened to them. I try not to bother them with my problems either. I'm good at pretending everything is ok, even when it's not...although in general I honestly have a positive outlook on life. But i can also have pretty big mood swings, i just don't try to show them outwards.
- I am also a very good listener, people tend to tell me everything about themselves very shortly after meeting me.
- i am obsessed with psychology, I love to psychoanalyse people, love figuring out people's motivations and their character, i gossip a lot and talk about people's relationships.
- I can sense intuitively what kind of person someone is and also how people are connected to each other (who likes who, what will offend someone etc.) So i always try not to offend someone, unless I'm joking with a group of friends - then i don't care that much about each person's feelings. I hate when some people get offended for every little thing and can't laugh at themselves.
- I don't like showing negative emotions like anger and especially sadness or vulnerability to others. I hate to be vulnerable with most people- I want to be the one who is in control when it comes to emotions. that is why I prefer if other people pour their hearts out to me, so I can always be ahead of them and they have nothing on me. I am somewhat of a people pleaser, but more so with unknown people - with family i am quite confrontational and don't hold back my feelings, anger and opinions.
- I am not bossy and very non-assertive.
- I don't take life too seriously, I joke around a lot, people say I have a very good and random sense of humour. My humour is very offensive and un-PC , bitchy but self-deprecating at the same time. I also swear a lot but not in front of strangers. I only show this side of myself to my friends, cause I don't want to be judged as a bitch.
- My idea of fun is spending time with my friends joking around (offensive, inappropriate jokes required), drinking, going to clubs, meeting new people. I enjoy discussing serious topics as well, but this is not fun to me.
- I love special and unconventional people. I don't like generic, boring people without identity who follow rules of society without questions and take themselves and life too seriously. I also don't like un-spontaneous, uptight people. I often somehow end up in unusual situations with eccentric people and I love it
- I feel everyone has a right to be themselves and highly value genuineness in people.
- I am arrogant in a sense that i feel that a lot of people are stupid generic simpletons or not as cool as me and my friends and in that way beneath me (but i would never say that to their faces, only gossip behind their back and hate them in my head
- I can be manipulative and I often lie to get out of sticky situations. I am also prone to cheating in relationships - I always feel like there's someone better out for me. That is unless I'm really in love - than I completely idolize a person and am really commited. i also obsess over them and am completely broken if they break up with me. My feelings are VERY intense when it comes to love.I dream about finding my soulmate all the time Someone who will save me from mundane, boring reality haha.
- I have big problem with boredom and routine in general. I want to travel the world and meet new people all the time and get involved with some charity wor,k but don't have the guts and am too introverted/shy to do it to the extent i really want.
- I have strong opinions on most ethical and moral issues.
- I often feel like I'm useless and not good at anything productive, like not suitable for any worthy career like other normal human beings but at the same time I don't feel like people should be necessarily productive- they should work only if they feel like it . I'm attracted to people who are more confident and better equipped at getting ahead in life than i am. I feel somewhat not able to deal with life -lacking power to get what i want and achieve success or make enough money to survive in...I wouldn't oppose if somebody would do that instead of me I feel like I need a lot of help, I have this feeling of helplessness in this competitive world. But like a true hypocrite on the other hand I can't stand incompetent helpless people, particularly weak, unconfident guys. it' s like I'm allergic to them. As i feel not tough enough I often play the naive, helpless girl card in environments where I feel like i can't compete, so people underestimate me and I don't seem like a threat. Powerful people like me for my charming sweetness and take me under their protection and that's how i survive. lol.
- I am attracted to very assertive, confident, blunt and somewhat pushy guys, who are very positive and are a lot of fun to be around (E7 especially).They have to be popular or somewhat cool in my eyes for me to like them. i am very concerned about how others perceive them, what kind of status they have in a group.. I also have to feel like they are in a sense better than me. They have to play some sorts of games with me and not be completely available, otherwise I am not as attracted.
- I want for a guy to activate me, take me with him to adventures (i have all these ideas what i want to do and where to go, but I am often too lazy or shy to make them happen).
- I put a lot of effort in my appearance, love fashion, makeup and am very vain. i am also flirty (when not feeling shy) and I like attention (to be noticed, NOT for example to speak in front of the audience. My confidence is fleeting, one day I'm very conceited, the other day I'm feeling very down (depends how I feel I look that particular day That is why sometimes I can come across as charming and other times completely awkward and socially retarded.
- i love watching artsy indie movies, particularly violent and disturbing ones and movies about interesting fucked up people and relationships (but also sweet love stories haha). I have a love/hate relationship with violence. I hate it when it's used to bully or abuse the innocent, but like it when it's used on bad people as a penalty or revenge. I often dream of whipping someone's ass if they piss me off. Violence and dark stuff also strangely fascinates me beyond that, but only as a part of my imagination, if that makes sense