Originally Posted by
anndelise old post from other forum
For example, I don't tend to pay much attention to my concrete environment. Yes, I use my senses to help me get around in this world. But other than a general idea of where an item is located, I'm not that interested in sensory details. I spend a lot of time in my head, rummaging around the ideas and thoughts that are up there. This means that I don't develop strong neural connections related to sensory information. Which means that the outside world is rather drab to me. Which means I don't spend much time paying attention to it. Which means I don't develop strong neural connections. And so the cycle continues.
One day I left Richard at home while I drove into town. When I got home, I parked my van in the usual spot in our driveway. I walked up to the fence, opened it, and then wondered where Richard's car was. Usually he parks right in front of the fence. Did he go somewhere? I looked around on the street, but didn't see his car. Odd, maybe he went to the corner store or shell station down the road. I went through the fence, closed it, and then started up the steps of the porch. And then I saw that the door was open, and I heard noise inside. WTF? Richard is a stickler about locking up the door for going to the corner store, he would never have left the house unlocked if he took his car anywhere. Maybe he was trying to prank me by hiding his car. I walked back down the stairs and out to the street and looked up and down. I couldn't see any place he would hide his car. Oh fuck, that must mean someone's broken into our house. What do I do? But what if it IS him?? I grabbed a tree limb that we had cut off a tree. I walked back up the stairs, setting down the items I had. I heard the noise, the person was in the kitchen. Should I stay? Go? Call the police? I hesitated trying to figure out what would I do if it IS a burglar.
Suddenly, the door opened. Oh fuck this guy's big!!!
I couldn't see him well, just the outline, his face was shadowed.
I stuttered, and froze, part of me wanting to run, the other part indignant that someone dare break into MY HOME!!!
The man pushed the screen door open further than I had it.
Do I scream? Run? Threaten him?
Why the hell haven't I done anything yet. I'm usually not so indecisive in emergencies. It was like a part of me was holding myself back..."wait and see".
And then suddenly the features became recognizable.
It was Richard.
What the hell? Where's your car??
Uh, where it always is?
No it's not, I just came from there. I even looked down the street to see if I could see it, it's not there.
Yes it is!
No, it's not, I LOOKED!
He pushed me (lightly) out the door and I turned to point to where his car's supposed to be.
There it was, where it always is.
WTF? Did he get someone to drive his car back in to finish the prank?
No, it had been there the whole time.
I had even had to drive my van AROUND his car to park, and then go out of my way to walk around the car so that I could get to the gate.
*I* never registered the presence of the car. Yet obviously my body/mind had as I had done that driving around and walking around to avoid it.
Ok, yes, that was an extreme example....and very embarrassing.
But still, even in regular day things, Richard is often astounded that I don't seem to notice nor remember certain things (which ARE sensory based) that would have required my paying conscious attention to. Like the remote control being right in front of me. Or which skirt my daughter was wearing. Or that that board doesn't actually line up with the other board. He's constantly amazed that I make so many errors judging distances, and that I can never seem to remember how much distance a "foot" is. Yes, I know it's "12 inches" but how does that translate into how far I should move this table over?? I freeze up, and it takes me a few moments to pull that information out of my head. And I'm always over-estimating or under-estimating the needed distance.
I believe that it's because I don't pay much attention to these kinds of things, that lead to weak neural connections regarding these things, that lead to it not being a part of my major neural network system in my head, and further leads to my not paying much attention to these things.