Originally Posted by
UDP
I didn't even think about one aspect of things: the relational aspect. Probably because I see that as a luxoury. However, it would overlook one of the most important reasons as to why I am actually here in socionics, what started this whole seeking that brought me to many things, including this forum.
... How all of this relates to me is that, ideally, in a real, secure, long term relationship (marriage?), I'd be able to stop worrying, somewhat. Ideally I wouldn't have to worry, I would be contented, with someone's relationship status towards me. There is a major element of doubt and uncertainty, or rather, just a disclarity, or indifference, when it comes to general relationships. But if I had one person, or perhaps as Minde talks about below, an actual family, where I was sure of people's relationships towards me, and them not wanting to change those things, that would be really nice. I don't really expect that or think of it (as per my above response), but I suppose it is something I am actually looking for.
It would be such a relief for me to know I could just trust someone and be like "Finally, here is someone that wants me to be in their life forever. And I can be as close as I want to be because they want to be close to me".
It would also be someone I could take care of. Someone, or a group of people, I could really know who needed and wanted me. It would be really nice to have someone that wanted me to be with them, and I'd be able to just do stuff for them and make sure they were safe - somemone who wanted that. Or even needed it. It's disappointing when I start to open up to people and try to do more things for them, and then realized that they don't need me so much in their life, or they don't really want me there. I've realized that the disappointment is there because I have an expectation for a very close relationship.
In a lot of ways I've come to realize that certain types of relationships are just not fulfilling to me, so, something with a much greater depth is actually appealing.
That sounds really nice. It also sounds forieng to me in some ways. I would never really be able to say "the warmth of multiple, entwined connections enveloping and nourishing me". That sounds really nice but I don't know what that means - I don't have any experience with that. But the next line, "To have certain people who I know will always love me, and I will always love them" - I understand that more so. A lot of the rest is pretty much the reciprocal image of things I suppose - I see it as having people I can at last be truly loyal to, in a very deep and meaningful way. If I could have something solid in my life that I could build around, something that wouldn't be changing or fleeting, that would be a very nice thing. It would give me something to protect, and actually care about.
I think I may be a bit numb to all of that though, or at least at this moment while I write (perhaps it is because I am working on papers). It is still news to me that people actually want stuff like this.
PS: Perhaps S types, or ST types, can be really shallow minded because they take whatever they see around them as being "the case", and don't really understand that just because it is not before their eyes it does not really exist.