Wikisocion: "When people are criticized for their lack of attentiveness to their role function, they are often irritated because they are already well aware of the deficiency and have already tried and failed to correct it."
"Compared to the vulnerable function, role function criticism is easier for a person to respond to or dismiss, since they believe that it has some value, in theory."
How do I get my dual to listen to Fe advice?
So supposedly we're supposed to know that our role function is weak. For example, as an Fi type, I am acutely aware that my Ti is underdeveloped and I consider it a personal weakness that needs to be worked on (but which is ultimately not as useful or important as Fi in my worldview). I try to be receptive to well-intentioned "Ti advice." However, I tried to give an LSE a bit of role function advice since he made an Fe faux pas while in a social setting last night. It didn't end well.
This NT was trying to make jokes and they were just not very appropriate. They were either kind of risqué or "you had to be there" kind of jokes. But the NT was just trying to get everyone to laugh. So my very close LSE friend (who was drinking) would make a joke that made fun of the NT's joke, which would make everyone at the table laugh but then the poor NT would get all quiet because he was embarrassed. The LSE didn't mean to hurt the NT's feelings, obviously, but I wanted to let the LSE know that it seemed like he had.
I told the LSE on the phone today (thinking it would be better if I waited a day) that perhaps when someone creates an awkward moment it's typically better not to draw attention to that awkwardness because it might hurt the person's feelings. I told him it depends on the company he's in and that if he's not sure how the person will react, that it's better to just chuckle and skim over it, changing the subject or something.
Then I got called the "ethics police," was accused of creating my own awkwardness by not talking enough and then lectured for "scrutinizing" the LSE's "every comment and interaction," when it was the NT's "fault for saying awkward shit in the first place" and the LSE "was just trying to show him that to make him stop."
Am I supposed to help the LSE's weak Fe by smoothing over the situation WHILE it's happening? Because I didn't really know what to do last night, in the moment. So I talked to the LSE about it today, like I mentioned, and it just made him self-conscious and now I feel terrible. Perhaps it's better to just say nothing when that kind of thing happens. I mean, I'm sure the NT is fine and it doesn't really matter. And I know the LSE didn't mean any harm, but I thought I could help him avoid that in the future...