Quote Originally Posted by Lim View Post
i'm interested in this ... usually i'm not that drawn to SEEs and most of the ones i know are female , but when i do, i feel like i have nothing to offer- i honestly do wonder if they are really interested in Ni-doms? (especially IEIs with zero Te, all i can offer is nodding and smiling at people, especially if i don't know them well.) somehow i can't wrap my head around this. one female SEE who approached me for friendship told me she wishes she had a boyfriend like me. and i thought, wtf, why? i always thought that SEEs tolerate IEIs because they are non-threatening and tag along, that's it. but every SEE i know has at least one IEI in their circle of friends, my SEE aunt's most important romantic relationships have been an IEI and now an ILI (but ILIs have Te!). and i've seen enough SEEs dating EIEs and ILIs to know, yes, they are drawn to Ni, but it's still strange for me. i met a really good looking, interesting SEE guy, and i was interested in him (but in a so/sx, let's see where it leads me way, i want to collect you as an addition to my social circle, and hopefully more? ... it's about social chemistry, i guess. he's sx/so, btw) and thought, okay, out of my league. so, what's their flirting/romantic behaviour, or how they act when they are interested in you (not necessarily romantic)? the SEE sx/so guy was always very enthusiastic, friendly towards me the few times we talked, him initiating the conversations. i thought that he's like that with everyone. i tried to be extra charming, lol. when i met him a few months later, i thought, it takes too much effort to keep this up, and maybe he doesn't remember me. so, i was more back to my default withdrawn mode i display with strangers. he modified his behaviour based on my reactions, and was very quiet towards me, until i showed simple signs of interest, and then he would slowly approach me again based on my reactions. i thought aggressor's talk to you/pursue you/chase you, if they are interested and if not, they just don't. but what's up with this looking at you as if they are a cat watching a mouse until it makes a move. and if you don't do anything, they look confused and unsure. usually it's me doing that, waiting for someone to make the first move and then adapting to them and deciding whether i should make the second or not. lol. waaay worse was an SLE around, who is the most attractive guy i've seen in my entire life, who just stared at me never saying anything. the first time i talked to him he got very nervous and tense... i'm not that attractive, either. wtf. ^^ what's up with aggressors not acting like aggressors. weird.
I bolded the important part. There are few things:

-> Stop relying on words? They are supposed to conjure this notion how something should be, not how it is / will be. The most correct word for Se ego types would be "Predator" not "Aggressor". But "Predator" has bad connotations, no? Anyhow, we do act like predators. We stalk our chosen game by forcing emotions, reactions etc out. ESPECIALLY us SEE! Don't forget that you are talking to a type who is a part of a "Causal-determinitive" cognition. Which means "this happens because of that so it means this is a causal effect, so I should make a move if I want to". Se are WICKEDLY good with body language-especially at noticing other person's body language. It doesn't matter if you do it willingly or not-we will latch onto it. So they see "welcome!" sign in body language and that is when we will make our move(if we want to, ofc!).

-> SEE have bad Ne and particularly bad Ti. What this means is that we don't pay half an attention to things like "what could be if it could be, so it logically is"(WTF ). We particularly don't employ lateral thinking, so there is that. What we see, we take for the true meaning of it, even if it could be due to other reasons. We also have a bad tendency to forget the logic and where we started(just look at the way I write lol!).

-> But then again, I could still be an ESI and ESI in particular are notorious for "Tom and Jerry" behaviour. So there is that...