Originally Posted by
golden
I'm not sure how to articulate this. I don't assume that what I see with someone is what I get. There are many ways I cannot fully know another person. For example, I can get only a wistful inkling of what an adult was like as a child and as an infant, even if I have photos and video of them to look at. That version of the person has been superseded by the adult version. And even in the present moment, I feel that there's more to a person than they can make fully manifest, and also that they do not owe it to me to reveal everything about themselves, and I wouldn't press for them to say or show more than they feel confident expressing.
I find it would be disrespectful to expect someone to cough up more of the inner life than they do. That can almost be a form of interpersonal violence. I just try to get a feeling for what might be there and don't dig or poke into it much.