Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
can almost tell you guys who have been there - there is a weird fixation that happens when the man is the supervisee

I've watched this happen between an LIE housemate and her IEI boyfriend

but it's almost like this prior fixation is hampering these dudes in forming other relationships, like a mirage-paradise lost that they can't let go
Lol. I could see that. Partnering with someone who easily does, and supplies you with, the thing that you know you suck at most, gets your attention. It's like you have this vast area of weakness, and this other person just shows up and covers it.

What struck me about Helmsworth's Supervision is that he constantly said that he loved his wife and there was no other who was even close. He also said she beat him up a lot. THIS, my friends, is Supervision. The Supervisee can have a need for someone who covers their weak points be so great that they dare not criticize their Supervisor, while at the same time understanding that the Supervisor feels scorn for them. The Supervisor looks at the Supervisee and asks themselves, "Why can't this person do this simple thing? Are they just a screw-up who constantly makes bad decisions, or what?"

I'm still attracted to SLI's in an intellectual way, but one thing is certain; I'm not going back into another relationship with one.

As a side note, the biggest problem in my life right now is figuring out exactly what I need and why I might need it, and trying to determine if what I need and want is healthy.