I have exercised the theory that I indeed do NOT know who I am and so look at other people to see who I want to be because I am ashamed of myself.

I mean, I'm not attracted to people that are cold and unwelcoming whatsoever. Quite the opposite. Does this mean that I was predisposed to be a cold and unapproachable person and to dislike those other kinds of people which are actually a reflection of myself?