Was thinking about posting this in the Alpha forum, but this is still more of a type-me thread. I'm doubting my self-typing of LSE or ESTj now, and strongly considering ILE or ENTp. I could bore you with the reasons why ESTj and ENTp seemed similar to me, but that would be taking away from the big picture. Truth is I've flip-flopped over thinking I was several different personality types the past several months. I read descriptions, and I was drawn to thinking different things... but after reading Reinin's lately, it occurred to me, that perhaps my complete unawareness of who I really am could be the greatest clue to my type.
"Function #-1 – subjective intuition ( ): ignoring the integrity of internal situation. This is the lack of ability to plunge in thought. A Don Quixote finds it hard to plunge deep into him/herself and search the inner mechanisms of the soul. "What do you mean, 'analyze the internal situation'?" Hamlet enjoys this creative area of self, but a Don Quixote runs from it. He knows nothing about it.
This is a potential area for problems. When a Don Quixote is asked to look inside of him/herself, he is lost because he/she does not think this way. They do not understand what is required of them because their IM structure ignores this area completely. Relationships with other people come easy for them. It is easy for them to deal with other people’s problems. But their inner world is beyond their understanding."
Basically, since Ne is such a strong 1st function, understanding the outer world and others, Ni is very weak as the 7th function, lacking understanding of things internally.
Whenever people ask me to describe myself, I freeze up. I could see both sides to everything. I remember taking the MBTI 2 years ago, before I found out about socionics, and taking over 2 hours to complete a test about myself! I over-thunk everything. Even one of the most basic questions testing for introversion versus extroversion, 'Do you normally introduce people to each other, or get introduced to people?' I spent 15 minutes on that question alone, trying to think of previous times, examples of both, and not knowing what that really meant about me. After finishing the test, I felt like I had no idea who I really was.
I was also wondering if the above paragraph is an example of Ti shifting into gear. While Ne is incapable of explaining one's self, Ti tries to reason, to solve. I think of understanding myself like figuring out a puzzle. I think this is different than ENFp's way of compensating for what Ne can't explain. ENFp's shift to Fi to explain themselves, thinking about their feelings and emotions to understand who they are. Taken from personalitycafe:
"Never ask an ENFp to describe him or herself. Do you have a couple of days? What you will end up with is a vast collection of interesting contradictions. Why is that? It is because of the particular nature of this creative, unusual person."
Soooooo... that's one-half of my consideration for ENTp, the downside to having a strong Ne. The other half is the downside to having a strong Ti. In other words, having a weak Te. Also taken from Reinin's Book:
"Function #-2 – objective logic ( ): the zone of norms and standards, of law and order. “I don’t think a whole lot about the order, but since I live here, I naturally obey it”. The logic of the external world, laws, indisputable circumstances - in short, everything that does not require interpretation, falls in the category of standards. Traffic rules, criminal code, other social conventions go without saying for a Don Quixote. This area is not creative."....."He always struggles with social requirements, especially if they don’t make any sense. However, he understands that it is necessary to go through the basic training, so to speak, to get a permission to do the “free program”. So he has to waste time and energy on writing a thesis before he gets to do the real thing. A Don Quixote type is least adapted to social competition."
The part about struggling with social requirements, especially if they don't make sense... I have two examples for that.
When learning to drive, I didn't understand why someone should stop at a Stop sign if there is absolutely nobody else at the intersection. (I grew up in a very small town with practically no traffic at all.) After all, it doesn't hurt anybody if I'm going at a slow enough speed that I honestly check first before driving through the intersection, so why's it a problem? At first I followed the law to a T when learning, then questioned it and rebelled a bit, then decided to just follow it anyway, because I figured it was the right thing to do, to just go along, and I didn't want to face any bad consequences, ie. ticket, whatever. In fact, my whole life I've been very reluctant to break any kind of rules. I even looked down on friends in school who skipped class. Is that weak Te? Te being the 8th function of ENTp's, not being creative at all? Maybe that's why ENTp's can come across as nerdy sometimes, always going along with what they're told. And having a hard time 'going along' if they don't understand something.
My other example is not understanding the idea of "shotgunning" at parties. I thought it was a massive party foul to waste so much alcohol! Then my friend explained it's more about not "looking like a pussy" he said, if you can't drink quickly enough. So I went along and tried it. Another example of weak Te? Usually going along with things, but having a bit of trouble, if you don't understand something?
Also, the last part of the weak Te description, "So he has to waste time and energy on writing a thesis before he gets to do the real thing. A Don Quixote type is least adapted to social competition." I have two examples of that as well.
First, as smart as I am, I struggled with the idea of writing a resume. Why should I highlight my strong points? Isn't that bragging? Isn't that unethical to gloat about? One professor in college explained that there's nothing wrong at all with saying what you're good at, and marketing yourself. I get that, although it doesn't come naturally at all. In what ways am I better than other people? I'm not even sure... maybe that's another example of weak Ni, needing to understand myself in order to compare myself to other people with Te? I also despite networking events, loathe them, think they're so cheesy... where it's all about marketing yourself. Anyway, I'm getting off-topic.
My second example of ILE's being the "least adapted to social competition", is not being aggressive going after a girl, if there's another guy who's interested. It's the same idea as the resumes. Why am I better than someone else? It takes too much time and energy for me to answer that question, much less think of a way to convince someone else. I shy away from competition. In fact, I'll only even consider girls who are single... maybe that's somewhat related to Feeling and ethics as a function, but maybe it's still an example of weak Te... twice in college, girls who were unhappy with their boyfriends liked me, and we hung out for a bit, but then both times I broke it off. I didn't think it was right, and didn't like competing with another guy for the girl's heart, and couldn't trust that girl to be mine if she would cheat like that. One of the first questions I ask when meeting and flirting with a girl is if she's single... maybe that's a bit lame, ruins the fun of flirting/courtship a bit, but it's important to me. I don't cheat. Lol I'm getting way off-topic again, but maybe that's an inner sign of weak Te? Valuing monogamous relationships because I can't stand the idea of competing? Btw, I gotta mention, if I know a girl's mine, I'll stand up for her on every occasion, without fear, against someone else. It's more of the marketing/comparing myself to someone else that I don't like.
ANYWAY... this thing's long enough. ILE's, can you relate to any of these examples? Anyone with a strong Ne, can you relate to having a hard time figuring out your type because of not knowing who you are? Anyone with a strong Ni find it silly that I don't understand myself fully, and am always questioning to some degree? Maybe if people can or cannot relate based on their types, it'll give me a better understanding of what I think is Ne versus Ni or Te versus Ti, what they’re all about...
Or maybe I'm completely wrong in understanding myself again, this time as ENTp, and might be something else completely...