I got hired to do a job I very much enjoy, but my super ego boss expects me to take on the role of my contrary (and often my super ego). I think I've underestimated the effect this has had on my job performance. I'm supposed to do a shitload of computer work, for example, and it ends up getting drawn out longer than it needs to take because I just cannot force myself to just sit there and work on that kind of thing all day. I can hyperfocus and get a lot done in a day, but I can't do that if errands, like picking up my son from day care or going to umpteen million doctor appointments a week, interrupt my schedule. I cannot hyperfocus when I know I need to leave in three hours.

Most would probably agree that nothing makes time drag or saps your energy more than doing nothing all day. To me, this computer work is pretty much doing next to nothing all day. If I wanted a desk job, I wouldn't have become a Home Inspector. And if I wanted to be a software developer, I would have gone to school for it.

If I would tell my boss this stuff (and I sometimes do), he would say that he doesn't want me sitting around on a computer all day either, that he'd much rather have me out there doing inspections, and that there isn't that much computer stuff that needs to be done, as far as he can tell. He would point out that I'm not putting in full 40 hour weeks right now. WELL I CAN'T FORCE MYSELF TO SPEND ALL FUCKING DAY WORKING ON STUFF I DON'T EVEN ENJOY DOING. (That's why I end up here so much. It wouldn't be so bad if it was only for a few months or something, but it's been over a year now.) He'd also say something along the lines of, "We need to get you better, kiddo. I hired a healthy young person who had no trouble carrying the 28 ft ladder or working fulltime. How many hours a day are you doing your exercises and stretches? Did they say when you'll be better?" AJHFUIEWH FWUIEHGFKJHSDAUI SHFUIHEGIUWGE OIWHGUOIEGH FIUOCDHQOIRHUOEHT VUYHRPUOIWHEV IUWEGHRCUWIHECTU IWHEUWGH {OVUIRWEH VRTUIOWETUETYUIO CHROPIQWECR OIWPETPUIOET VUEHUIOOIWERH WERH IAKJOIRWHGOIWEHG IWOEH WVIQ{WOIERUJIOEWRHGOW(# KIFJIOE VRJQWEIORJWEQI KLSEIEWGNEJFNIE*LKASHFSA OIEHFWOIERF WQWIRJHIHFHALPQPOWJERWQFN OIEHWOEIRHOWIERPIQPJ CHOIEWHROIUWQEHHNAL IWHROUEIHRWUETRH QOWIERHQOLIFNOIQWRHGOHUQWEBF OMGWTFBBQ



Anyways....

I do have some control over the type of work I do, in the long term. Once I finish up another couple of big computer projects my job responsibilities and the type of work my company takes on will change for the better. I'll probably only have about 15 hours a week of computer work to do on average (only?! UGH). About 15 hours a week will need to go towards networking and promotional type activities, which isn't too bad other than that he would want to be do those types of things way he would do them, which is not my style. That's not much of a problem though when I consider that the networking I'll be doing will be very beneficial (even pivotal) for my long term goals as well (not work related). I'll probably spend at least 15 or so hours a week on site at inspections. I'll also be earning a lot more money each week at that point, and the work will be more suited toward my interests and personality. Sigh. I just have to get through these big computer projects first. It's going to be easier now that there's an end in sight, but I feel like I have been half asleep for the past year (which is how long I've been spending most of my time on this shit), and now I'm trying to snap myself out of it so these next projects take me a few weeks instead of a few months. Ugh. I've always been the type of person who likes to find the most efficient way of doing things, but it's never required sitting silently in front of a computer all day before.



The question of the thread is regarding dealing with people who expect you to fill the role of another type. I lived with my contrary for over 3 years... trying to meet his needs in the relationship forced me to try to act like my super ego parter, which pretty much broke me. Now I've got a situation in which I'm expected to act like my contrary... which isn't nearly as bad, but leaves me feeling pretty stifled, as if I'm not really living. It feels like I can't spend my time like this and grow as a person. The only solution with the contrary I lived with was to kick him out. I don't have the same option with the super ego partner I work for. Even if I could just stop working for him (I'm contractually obligated to work there for over two more years, or I have to pay him back for the cost of training me which isn't really pocket change), I wouldn't want to. In spite of my complaints, he's a good person and a good boss, and I like where the company is headed and my place in it. When I look at it objectively, I'm in a really awesome position. Even if I just look at what I'm doing right now... I get paid a decent hourly rate to work from home... a lot of people would love to have a job like that! I'm not "a lot of people" though, I don't like working on a computer from home. It would actually be easier if I had an office to go into because then it would be easier to hyperfocus.

So... for those of you who have experience in dealing with situations where you were working closely with (or working for) someone from your conflicting quadra, how do you stay sane? How do you avoid losing yourself to the aspects of your job which simply don't interest you at all when they're supposed to be 80% of what you're doing right now? (I know that some people have an easier time with boring work than others. I'm someone who can't handle work that I don't find interesting... similar to how some people just aren't right for customer service or really aren't well suited to do a job with a lot of heavy lifting, etc.)