This is how a friend described his SEI wife.
Discuss...
This is how a friend described his SEI wife.
Discuss...
JRiddy
—————King of Socionics—————
Ne-ENTp 7w8 sx/so
Eww?
Naw. LOL. My SEI friends are quite motherly to me. Tell me I should go get some rest or go eat something. One took it upon herself to cut my food up for me when I got up to use the restroom.
ILE
I hope he meant someone ELSE's mom.
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
mabye this is why I gravitate towards SEI and ESE men. I need a mother figure?? LOL
but I have a mom. She's EII.
IEI-Fe 4w3
whenever the dog and i see each other we both stop where we are. we regard each other with a mixture of sadness and suspicion and then we feign indifference.
Jerry, The Zoo Story by Edward Albee
Actually, I think that a "mom with benefits" doesn't sound so bad, as long as it's not my mom. Being mommed around isn't so bad, especially if you get to make out with said mom. And you of course no that she can be a good mother to your potential children if she can take care of you. I mean, sometimes I forget to brush my teeth. This is not good. Just because things are "small" doesn't mean they're not important. This, I think is the value of Si; though it may appear to be "frivolous" to some and "like a mom" to others, it is incredibly important because it is the element that makes any kind of development possible. So even if it's kinda weird, I really don't think I'd mind a mom with benefits, because it may be what I need.
(I self-nominate this thread for the award of Most Oedipal Thread Ever.)
JRiddy
—————King of Socionics—————
Ne-ENTp 7w8 sx/so
I'd hate someone to mom me around.
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
I wouldn't describe my ESE husband as momming me around exactly. But he does notice things I don't. For example, he'll say "um, do you think the kids need snow pants today? There's like 2 feet of snow on the ground" and I'll say "oh yeah--you're right". I just don't think of stuff like that right away. The other great thing is that sometimes he'll decide all on his own to make dinner on the weekends! And he actually enjoys it. Major points for that one. And he's very accommodating if I'm too cold or too hot or whatever, he tries to make me comfy. the down side of all of this is that he notices when the house isn't picked up and starts nagging all of us (the kids AND me) to start picking up our junk. lol I need to be married to someone like this. Otherwise I'd probably live in a mess.
IEI-Fe 4w3
My god get back the national guard is coming to save you dolphin.
This isn't a joke, it happened. Alpha SF's enjoy caregiving, and Alpha NT enjoy being caregiven. I know it in my heart, and I see it with my father. It is a fact of life, not some arbitrary, ridiculous comment the ILE's have made up to insult us.
D-SEI 9w1
This is me and my dual being scientific together
You are raving.
1. Dolphin is apparentsly angry at what the ILE's are saying now. I didn't invent the sterotype dumbass, it predated me for sure. Where did I even get the idea from?
2. I have no problem with saying I enjoy caregiving, because I do.
3. What I said before was a fucking joke. I'm sorry you were unable to comprehend that.
D-SEI 9w1
This is me and my dual being scientific together
D-SEI 9w1
This is me and my dual being scientific together
The thought of having a mother as a husband is pretty vomitrocious to me. It's a little too over the top. Personally, I would prefer to be with a father figure, in a sense. Someone who knows what's good for me and isn't afraid to tell me and make me do it (I'm pretty stubborn and I like to butt heads on principle). I want someone to be my peer, but I also like the idea of someone who will take care of me in a more independent manner than a mother does. Mothers are too...clingy for me. Fathers are just right. Then again, I was raised by a single father and then my father and his ISTj wife, so it was like having two fathers, lol.
ILE
7w8 so/sp
Very busy with work. Only kind of around.
Yup, the ESE is a bit too clingy for me, it's true. But I'm not sure I'd trade it for the silent type who never lets on what he's feeling or thinking. I just don't know. I think because I related better to my father (who's SEI, my lookalike), I probably unconsciously searched for someone who was more like my mother. Actually the ESE is a good combination of both. It does no good, really, to think about what I would ideally want, since I am where I am. But I do definitely see your point here.
IEI-Fe 4w3
lol, the thread title was intriguing enough to get me to read a thread in Alpha!
I never really found that stuff nice - I cut my own food, I don't want advice about Si stuff etc. But this still sounds very SEI.
What I don't get - isn't the motherly behavior somewhat a turn-off?
EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
E3 (probably 3w4)
Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!
Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
New blog: http://having-a-kid.blogspot.com/
See, the thing about being ILE is with Fi PoLR we're immensely insecure about people's feelings. We need some tangible expression of how someone feels in order to believe that what they are expressing is truth. Because (generally) your first expression of love comes from your parents, as an ILE you will then associate those actions with love. So when you give me a hard time because I forgot to eat lunch, it's a sign to me that you care about my well-being and that you love me. If you told me you loved me, I would be suspicious because I know that words are often littered with lies, but a physical expression of caring soothes my Se and shows me that you want what's best for me. The balance comes from knowing that SEI admires my Ne/Ti and therefore leaves me with an authority of my own.
All of this should be unsurprising given that ILE falls in the infantile romance style and SEI falls in the caregiver. We ILE's want someone to take care of us while we show them how exciting life is.
ILE
7w8 so/sp
Very busy with work. Only kind of around.
Hey, Dolphin, I'm sorry if this thread offended you. I actually want to extol the virtues of Si, but I can see how this comes across as patronizing. This thread did start off as a joke, but in my last post I tried to make it serious to respond to the claim that this thread "did not deliver" (I'm blaming this on you now, Anamericancer), but I see now that this was a mistake. I regret using the brushing teeth point and I apologize for being condescending.
I certainly think of Si as much more than "caretaking" in the traditional sense. Obviously the "mom" stuff is at best a gross oversimplification and at worst and offensive stereotype. Many people have thought that Ne is kinda the integral type of socionics, so maybe that's why these small views of Si persist. To try and correct my mistakes at least, I will do my best to explain its qualities independent of Ne:
At an abstract level, Si is information about the transference of energy between two bodies. At this level it is not "caretaking" at all, but just information. But since Si dominants think along these lines, the things that begin to matter to them are the processes and actions of the energy relationship. They perceive the manner in which objects are affected by this energy, and learn to control it and understand it. The important thing about this is that it is the manner in which a spatial relationship is affected that is observed by Si, above all else. So at a simple concrete level, this becomes how objects are affecting each other in the current timeframe.
Since every stimulus to Si is a dynamic relationship, Si-types thrive in areas where that is the primary focus. This is how we get the "comfort" and "aesthetics" descriptions. These things involve how a myriad of relationships affect something else. These things affect the Si thought process as well. Si types gain tacit knowledge and skills more easily than concrete facts because Si is a different kind of information. This certainly does not mean that the Si user is stupid; far from it, the Si user is constantly perceiving the manner in which things are accomplished or affected, and because of its focus on the relationship instead of the object, the concept of "harmony" becomes incredibly important. Accordingly, the Si user can excel in any field where the manner in which something is accomplished is important. Though this can stereotypically be "art" for SiFe, it can also be making sure project teams work well together because disharmony would prevent a positive outcome. Innovations that improve how a group of objects or people work together are frequently born of Si. Si can also become a powerful force for communication, because it focuses so much on the way communication affects others, that it can focus on finding the way to convey an idea.
I can write more later. But I never want to convey the idea that SEIs are just nice caring people. There are often that, and often so much more.
JRiddy
—————King of Socionics—————
Ne-ENTp 7w8 sx/so
dolphin, I get why you're angry, and I couldn't find the teethbrushing comment. But I do attribute teethbrushing and other such rituals to . To be honest, when I'm done with my full ritual of teethbrushing, picking clothing, looking for new socks, seeing that my hair is not a total mess, etc, I still encounter Si types of people who give me an odd look and then I realize my shirt is wrinkly or something. The detailed attention to such things is the first thing I notice about Si types.
EIE, ENFj, intuitive subtype.
E3 (probably 3w4)
Cool ILI hubbys are better than LSIs any time!
Old blog: http://firsttimeinusa.blogspot.com/
New blog: http://having-a-kid.blogspot.com/
I keep thinking socionics is merely how you process information in your head...
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
That is true. It seems that I have too much fun exaggerating the negative stereotypes. The ILE-SEI relationship is more calm and cool-ish than that.
From my experiences with my ILE friend and teacher, there is a lot of playful banter and witty sayings exchanged, not sure about with females however. I'm sure we'd be great-o friends.
D-SEI 9w1
This is me and my dual being scientific together
Playful banter and witty lines are the trademark of the ILE, male or female. It's the most obvious way to project Ne and Ti together
ILE
7w8 so/sp
Very busy with work. Only kind of around.
I think I attempt witty banter to be like ILE's.
I kinda fail at it, but my teacher enjoys it. so w00t.
D-SEI 9w1
This is me and my dual being scientific together
But you're not differentiating between being with your mother with benefits and someone else's mother with benefits. Someone else's mother isn't about to try and be your mother, but they'll show you the compassion and caring of a mother.
Aww, thinking about someone like that makes me warm and fuzzy ^-^
ILE
7w8 so/sp
Very busy with work. Only kind of around.
But that's what's wonderful about ISFp! They want us to bring them along on all of our adventures! They aren't staunchy or naggy. They just want people to love them and share their intense amounts of caring and emotions. And part of that involves spreading some Si love because they want to make sure you're safe and happy. But ISFp's are also very creative, which is why they're drawn to our sense of adventure. They don't like "ruts" anymore than we do.
ILE
7w8 so/sp
Very busy with work. Only kind of around.
My SEI friend has told me several times that his EII wife "isn't very adventurous" and I think this fact disappoints him more than he lets on. They are quite compatible in other ways. And she does like to travel but in conventional ways--she doesn't like anything risky or too unknown. And just this morning my SEI father sent me this link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24655677/from/ET/ about extreme vacations probably geared towards baby boomers, which he is. I found it a bit obnoxious in its self-indulgence (but that's how the baby boomers are). My dad could never afford one of those types of vacations but boy would he love it.
But you know, so much of life is tedious and boring. I mean, we all have to plan supper unless we're Oprah and can afford to hire our own cook.
IEI-Fe 4w3
I don't plan supper, lol. I look in my fridge and say "What can I make with this?" and if nothing immediately comes to mind, I'll make up something new or I'll just not eat and have some applesauce instead. Heh. But in general I tend to make mundane tasks exciting. For instance I have a whiteboard marker for the shower so I can write down ideas that come to me while I'm there. And then I like to clean the bathroom naked. It just makes more sense to do it that way, and it's more exciting, lol.
ILE
7w8 so/sp
Very busy with work. Only kind of around.
Like my profile says on wikisocion: I am made of awesome. I adminster goodness to all. For this reason I am win. Which reminds me, I need to add another quote to my siggy.
[/ego]
ILE
7w8 so/sp
Very busy with work. Only kind of around.