Your Imago

[strangeling]

Not saying there isn't validity to this, but I don't think it works for me. I only had two positive traits. I was fed and given money. I care little about those things, except for attaining goals. But I stopped talking to my dad and he died of lung cancer last year. I did not accept his request to see him. Only talk to my mom now because she became sane after leaving him. But I don't forget how she was to me back then.

Too many negative traits. But I think I'm schizoid anyway. Intimacy causes too much anxiety; I feel like I want to vomit. There's a good chance I will never have another intimate relationship for the rest of my life and for some reason I'm perfectly okay with that.

On the other hand. I do have an attraction to women that are strong, powerful, and have a dark nature to them. I get to see their worst side and if I still think it is beautiful, I could feel comfortable and love someone like that. But that has little to do with my parents and more to do with my existential feelings of estrangement with myself and the universe, possibly influenced by my parents.

Not trying to sound cool or brag or seem special or something something, but I am a pretty odd person that pretends to be normal. So maybe this only applies to people that proactively seek out relationships.

[Olimpia]

Not saying there isn't validity to this, but I don't think it works for me. I only had two positive traits. I was fed and given money. I care little about those things, except for attaining goals. But I stopped talking to my dad and he died of lung cancer last year. I did not accept his request to see him. Only talk to my mom now because she became sane after leaving him. But I don't forget how she was to me back then.

Too many negative traits. But I think I'm schizoid anyway. Intimacy causes too much anxiety; I feel like I want to vomit. There's a good chance I will never have another intimate relationship for the rest of my life and for some reason I'm perfectly okay with that.

On the other hand. I do have an attraction to women that are strong, powerful, and have a dark nature to them. I get to see their worst side and if I still think it is beautiful, I could feel comfortable and love someone like that. But that has little to do with my parents and more to do with my existential feelings of estrangement with myself and the universe, possibly influenced by my parents.

Not trying to sound cool or brag or seem special or something something, but I am a pretty odd person that pretends to be normal. So maybe this only applies to people that proactively seek out relationships.

You are not the only one who has claimed this "Imago thing" does not work for them.
I have given this test to other people before posting it here.

One SX blindspot person (SO/SP) who is also dismissively attached claimed "they have never been attracted to someone like their parent before", and that they cannot come up with any traits.
After some extra probing, he actually could come up with a few, and admitted the results were not that wrong.

Another person who is SP/SX grew up with many different caretakers – not only his parents, but also his aunt and grandmother.
Just like you, he said the most positive traits he can remember were being fed and taken care of (seems to be an SP first thing to focus on).
More positive traits or any negative ones he could not remember – he said he has "overcome" and "forgiven" their negative traits for the most part, without going into any detail.
I've talked some more with him about it, asked him which person he felt the closest to and/or who has had the most positive impact on him.
He admitted that person would have to be his ESI aunt. And lo and behold, a very common attraction pattern for him is to be attracted to ESI women.
Also, he let on that something that draws him to people is a certain melancholic look in their eyes. And guess what – his mother used to be depressed when he was younger.

At last, another case was someone who has had a pretty rough childhood.
She stated that there were only negative traits ("too many") that she could remember regarding her parents.
I asked her whether there has been any other kind of person in her life that took care of her, with whom she associates positive feelings.
Actually, she does – her grandmother would be kind and considerate and help her with learning things. I don't know more details, but it is highly likely her grandmother's positive traits might be some of the positive traits of her Imago.

All in all, you might simply not feel able to delve into your memories of that time and extract the positive/negative traits of people you picked up on back then.
I suppose I am biased, but I believe that everyone is being affected by their Imago – some more, some less. (Those who are the most affected are usually: SX first + insecurely attached + have had a rough childhood)

Some people's Imagos are more clear, as in they can tell you exactly what they are like (which is rare, considering the Imago is largely unconscious).
Most people have to go through several failed relationships and then realize what kind of patterns they have been going through, to see that they have some kind of "type", which is essentially their Imago.
Finally, some people – especially those with rough childhoods – have a very foggy idea of their Imago and have difficulties with "pinning them down". Their Imago may be very disassociated and full of contradictory traits. They may have had really scarring or dissatisfying romantic relationships due to that Imago.

I'd also like to mention that the Imago can actually become more healthy the more healthy you become yourself.
Some people might believe they are "doomed" with a "bad" Imago – but when they work on themselves and reach a better psychological state, their Imago will better itself, too.
What that means, is that the more healthy you are, the less your Imago's negative traits in other people will entice you.
I know that no one actually finds the negative traits of their Imago attractive (for the most part) – for most people, they are "pet peeves".
But on a very unconscious level, the average person is drawn to those negative traits without being conscious of that.
So, the more healthy you are, the less often and less strong this will happen.