Quote Originally Posted by tereg View Post
I don't know if it would offend me personally as much as it would just make me uncomfortable. It would appear to an outsider that I'm really uptight or that I'm being offended, but I can visualize myself with a group of people and how I would react/respond and I would honestly say that the internal feeling is more one of hiding in my shell.

I can envision a social atmosphere where I'm with a group of people, and I feel very neutral with the group, and then a raunchy joke is said to loosen up the group, and I would at that moment feel... like almost like an outsider suddenly. I think it's more of a feeling of just feeling uncomfortable to be a part of something that I don't identify with.

Believe me, I understand exactly the intention behind jokes like that and that those intentions are not bad. And, I don't have a problem with people doing something they want to do or talking about whatever you want to talk about. You have the freedom to do that. It's just that, well it's twofold... on one hand there's this feeling I have where my discomfort will be apparent to the other people if I remained there, and that somehow gives me the impression that I would be responsible for "bringing down the mood" which is something I've been guilty of more than a few times in my life . And then there's this added layer of, again, feeling a certain way (i.e. loosening up) about things that I don't quite identify with where I would then feel like I'm just trying to be something I'm not to accomodate the social mood. In other words, there would be an internal disconnect where I felt like I would feel like I need to kind of force my mood in order to sync with the mood of the group, which internally makes me uncomfortable.

So, in that particular social situation, I would turn very quiet and I would feel very awkward, but it's because there's this sudden need for me to ... jam a square peg into a round hole emotionally. I think you should have the freedom to talk about what you want, but there are some things that I'm just like "Ok, I'm going to just let you guys talk about that and let you guys have your fun" kind of way. Which sounds really... um... it looks really standoffish from the outside, I understand. But, I'm trying to explain to you what's happening internally in people like me.

It's really just a sudden jolt of internal discomfort.

Hope that makes sense.
Basically... like yeah