Zillah, thanks for the pretty intro to your post. It was sweet. Don't worry, things are not that bad. I live with my boyfriend, I have friends, I have hobbies, I read books, I watch happy shows on TV. I just feel bad about the thought that other people might barely endure me. I know everyone had flaws, but most of my personality has been listed somewhere as a flaw. People can't stand 9/10 out of ENFj traits, even the traits that they forgive in others.


zillah, Mikemex. I thought about it and I realized something... neither of you had anything to add about your INTj father. And that's as important as both of you having bitchy ENFj mothers.

There is one thing that I have realized about myself - I try to take power over things! It's what I naturally do. When I have no restrictions, I am more likely to be opinionated and express it, I'm more likely to enforce my own desires, my own likes and dislikes. Usually I seriously tune it down. I try to make sure that I don't force my INFj friend into anything and that I don't take advantage of my INTp boyfriend (we live together).

I can somewhat imagine if my bf was INTj. When it comes to a romantic relationship, keep the Se-PoLRs away from me! They are willing to give you all the power you want in exchange for one kiss. That's the worst thing ever. It's like offering gold on a silver plate. Just take it, no strings attaches. At first, the ENFj mother probably tried not to take advantage of the weak husband, but how long can anyone keep it up? Especially with the INTj willing to play dead and roll over. Like really. If there were a 100 gold coins on the table with someone saying, "please take it, I want you to take it" and you know you shouldn't take it, because it will lead you to the dark side, how long will it be until the gold is gone?

The INTj father is guilty for not being able to keep the ENFj under control. Of course the ENFj is also to blame, but if it had been an ISTj, she would never have been given such control over the entire household.

Irrelevant part: I'm not sure if it's because I'm Ni-subtype, but I do housework. I try to be self-sacrificing, but I end up acting like a martyr. I can spend hours cleaning alone, making sure that the floors are washed and the dust removed, but only as long as others acknowledge my martyrdom. I think they win here. I spend 4 hours doing physically difficult work (with the relentless EJ high-energy mode) and they have to spend 10-20 min telling me that I really have worked hard and it has made a difference and that I'm a good girl.