Romancing an SLI

[wacey]

Now THIS is type-related.

I am annoyed and have deleted the conversation with him because I don't want to impulse text, but I have a shred of hope left I guess. Yoga, running, work. #copingskills

I've seen this and understand it. I also delete conversations into the ether forever. Its hard for me cause I think my duals in comparison pull the trigger and its me doing the easy killer lets slow this down.

[Kim]

I've seen this and understand it. I also delete conversations into the ether forever. Its hard for me cause I think my duals in comparison pull the trigger and its me doing the easy killer lets slow this down.

Deleting conversation is a sanity-saving life skill.

As for the slowing things down, that will never be me I am afraid.

[SongOfSapphire]

I feel like SLI men are 1 - men and 2 - sensing types so, introverts or not, they are the ones best left as the main pursuer, at least for a real relationship as opposed to just hooking up. I dated three SLI guys whose types I'm sure of: the first (before I knew socionics) pursued me and things worked well until we broke up due to ntr issues; the second (after I knew socionics) was pursued by me, and things did not work out at all; the third (after I knew socionics and also after I had learned what I interpreted as a valuable lesson in letting the guy lead) pursued me and we ended up getting married.

One thing I have observed about SLI guys, including my husband, is that they tend to take for granted what they have sometimes, especially when it comes right to them...which imo is part of why it's better not to chase them but to let them pursue in the beginning, while you just be your lovely, bubbly, interesting and interested IEE self. That way you get to observe and find out if they're really interested, and they get to learn from experience that they want to be w you.

The guy you describe, @Kim, does sound flaky. It's his loss if he doesn't come around, imo...like I said, on to the next + enjoying your own life in the meantime. (...as cheesy as that may sound )

*waiting for someone to say I'm a mistyped victim type married to a mistyped aggressor after this post *

[Kim]

I feel like SLI men are 1 - men and 2 - sensing types so, introverts or not, they are the ones best left as the main pursuer, at least for a real relationship as opposed to just hooking up. I dated three SLI guys whose types I'm sure of: the first (before I knew socionics) pursued me and things worked well until we broke up due to ntr issues; the second (after I knew socionics) was pursued by me, and things did not work out at all; the third (after I knew socionics and also after I had learned what I interpreted as a valuable lesson in letting the guy lead) pursued me and we ended up getting married.

One thing I have observed about SLI guys, including my husband, is that they tend to take for granted what they have sometimes, especially when it comes right to them...which imo is part of why it's better not to chase them but to let them pursue in the beginning, while you just be your lovely, bubbly, interesting and interested IEE self. That way you get to observe and find out if they're really interested, and they get to learn from experience that they want to be w you.

The guy you describe, @Kim, does sound flaky. It's his loss if he doesn't come around, imo...like I said, on to the next + enjoying your own life in the meantime. (...as cheesy as that may sound )

*waiting for someone to say I'm a mistyped victim type married to a mistyped aggressor after this post *

I just really can't play along with the pursuer thing. I feel like I am excitable and I want to express excitement, so for me to step back and act like he needs to chase me feels like a performance. If he does not want to be with me because I am "too easily available," then he is probably not for me anyway. It just would feel inauthentic and forced to me.

[Kim]

PS: I am also a 7 and it does not take long for me to lose interest when I don't get the attention I need. I don't want that to happen, but I can't help it, especially since I deal with frustration by throwing myself into some other experience.