...
...
Last edited by Dee; 02-26-2009 at 02:18 AM.
I definitely have one sanguine and one melancholy child. Not sure what #3 is yet.
IEI-Fe 4w3
think i'm phlegmatic/melancholic.
6w5 sx
model Φ: -+0
sloan - rcuei
Travis would be choleric. I am too.
This is completely true. I'm an IP married to an EJ and this plays out around here all the time. We are both overly sensitive to criticism and the mood of the other (although he's worse) and he works on full mode until he's completely drained. I stop in the middle of a task if need be, to recharge. He doesn't get that. He thinks the job should be done before recharging.Originally Posted by dee
IEI-Fe 4w3
I had already studied temperaments, concluding that I'm a strange mix between sanguine and melancholic, which means that things affect me deeply but I will always try to keep a smile and look like I wasn't bothered, and keep playing hoping it'll pass.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
Originally Posted by dee
i assume this was directed at me. i'm generally somewhat emotionally sensitive, but i consider myself somewhat thick skinned. this could easily be the result of living with an EJ who constantly flies off the handle and makes huge deals out of everything. and my current job is one boring, repetitive task. i don't consider myself to be poor at detail intense, boring, repetitive work, although i can't say i love it either. so slightly more phlegmatic.
6w5 sx
model Φ: -+0
sloan - rcuei
Well, my method works this way. I will accumulate things that bother me (which can be very well things that don't bother most people) while keeping a smile and looking like I wasn't bothered till one day I can't handle it any more and I have a nervous breakdown/become extremely angry and impossible to calm down/cut off the person forever from my lifeOriginally Posted by dee
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
I know IPs like this. But my EJ husband can also be very tolerant of somethings up to a point and then watch out.Originally Posted by FDG
IEI-Fe 4w3
hmm... as a child I could have been more sanguine than melancholic... Though it depends what age I suppose. As a baby I was apparently very mild... hardly ever cried, was very inexpressive, my mother felt so "blessed" by my mild manners... then my sister came along... I think she's clearly an IJ. She had many tantrums.
I notice the difference between me and my IJ girlfriend in terms of controlling one's self: when I practice self-control up to an excessive (for my nervous system) degree, I will not be able to let the emotions out all at once like an IJ does, simply because there are too many of them stored; thus, either I have a complete nervous-emotional breakdown, or I'll need a lot of time, sports, socialization and alchool in order to stabilize my mood.Originally Posted by dee
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
Hmm. You know, I'll have to think about this. I did mean IJ. She's too sluggish and low energy to be an EJ. As an adult, she's quite inexpressive and rarely gets angry. She still is easy to irritate however. But as a child, she apparently had quite a few tantrums. It took her a while to learn to control her temper. Both she and I internalize our emotions... but I am more easily hurt than she is (it can be very easy to hurt my feelings)... I am also more emotionally expressive than she is... I have thought EII or ESI for her... she's clearly Fi/Te valuing from my point of view.Originally Posted by dee
Retreat to recovery is common among the IPs I know, myself included. I have seen explosion in the case of overload also, with ISFps. That is perhaps when they are harrassed by others and feel trapped. I almost never explode but I'm pretty in touch with what I need, emotionally and as a type I can pretty much anticipate my moods and work to deal with them right away.Originally Posted by dee
IEI-Fe 4w3
yes.Originally Posted by dee
IEI-Fe 4w3
Hmmm. It's not about a "guard" thing at all for me. It's how things are naturally. I don't really ever put up a guard that I can think of. Only in the most extreme situations. I generally react however I react. When the EJ gets emotional I find myself naturally feeling more calm and centered to balance him out and try to calm him down. Doesn't necessarily work though. When I do flip a lid (pretty rare, but it has happened), it's hard to calm down. I need my own space for awhile away from others.Originally Posted by dee
IEI-Fe 4w3
No, I'm def. not IJ. I do play the role of an IJ (a.k.a. my husband's dual) at times because that's clearly what he needs. And at times he plays the role of my dual (like aggressor in the bedroom :wink: ) but I'm very obviously INFp.Originally Posted by dee
IEI-Fe 4w3
I was recently in a group situation where something acute occurred that severely overloaded me, but I couldn't get away, couldn't explode and couldn't break down and find a place to cry. I was trapped and was quite frantic, like my feelings were strangling me. (Had trouble breathing). I found myself being quite mean to the individual at the center of my frustration.Originally Posted by redbaron
Eventually, though all I could do was channel the overwhelm and somehow (miraculously) got past it.
socio: INFp - IEI
ennea: 4w5 sp/sx
**********
Originally Posted by Mark Twain
vidOriginally Posted by redbaron
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
what's "vid", you want a video? he heOriginally Posted by FDG
IEI-Fe 4w3
...
yeah but only of the bedroom partOriginally Posted by redbaron
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
...
Sorry, I'm not trying to derail anything!Originally Posted by dee
(no video available by the way)
IEI-Fe 4w3
But fwiw I do think that spouses can sometimes play the role of each other's dual in certain situations especially when they have been together for awhile and know what the other needs. I'm pretty impressed with how calm I can be actually. And logical. And he's learned to be flexible with my need for open-endedness even when he prefers things to be all planned out.
IEI-Fe 4w3
pretty sure, yeah. He can ACT sanguine sometimes. But for example, he doesn't like to play games with me (or anyone else) because he hates to lose. When we're in the car he rants about how inefficient the traffic lights are, stuff like that.Originally Posted by dee
IEI-Fe 4w3
lol omg, never been able to understand that mindset..Originally Posted by redbaron
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
Yeah I know. It's really too bad. I can convince him to play sometimes though. He is open to persuasion. :wink: And the loss isn't felt as strongly when there's a reward at the end. Problem is, I always win when we play word games. And he knows it.Originally Posted by FDG
IEI-Fe 4w3
btw i have friends like that too that dislike it when i bike faster or if i play a sport better...but i end up trying to let them win because i don't really want them to feel too bad about it (since they seem to care about such trivial bullshit)
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
Well that's kind of you. I feel a little fake doing that with my husband but I suppose I could try it. I grew up in a family that played games all the time but even when we were little my dad would never let us win. He taught us to be good sports and have fun regardless so I guess I expect that of others! oh well.Originally Posted by FDG
IEI-Fe 4w3
ISFp Fe-subtype so he sometimes acts a bit IEI but I really believe he's SEI.Originally Posted by dee
IEI-Fe 4w3
Although I have the habit with those people to brutally humilate them from time to time winning in a destructive way with maximum effort just to show that they're not winning because I suck, but just because I'm letting them...does this point towards anything?Originally Posted by dee
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
You sound EP to me. But what do I know.Originally Posted by FDG
IEI-Fe 4w3
Oh I hear you. It does come out eventually, doesn't it. For me too.Originally Posted by introspectivedolphin
IEI-Fe 4w3
I know. It's really not good at all. What I wouldn't give to not be this way. One of my best friends is INTj and I envy her so much for her rational and logical viewpoints. I always turn to her when I'm feeling crazed about something and she helps me gain perspective. After a good cry, that is.Originally Posted by introspectivedolphin
IEI-Fe 4w3
Has anyone (or anyone you've known) been one of these temperaments in childhood and then a different one as an adult?
My mother used to think I was choleric, growing up. I'm not sure I agree with that, although she might be right about when I was a baby. But I think I was allergic to the formula she was using which made me crankier than I would have been.Originally Posted by Joy
IEI-Fe 4w3
I was more choleric as a small kid, then changed to melancholic, then switched finally during adolescence to the blend I am right now.Originally Posted by Joy
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
I think I was probably phlegmatic as a child. Didn't cry much when I was really young, was generally quiet and polite. Then became more dramatic, insecure and attention-seeking when my brother was born (I was an only child up til age 6). Generally, I gradually grew more melancholic -- sensitive, emotionally labile, imaginative, self-conscious, averse to groups, comfortable only with one "best" friend. More recently, I have been manifesting impatience, reactivity and other choleric traits.Originally Posted by Joy
Overall, I'm probably still mostly melancholic.
socio: INFp - IEI
ennea: 4w5 sp/sx
**********
Originally Posted by Mark Twain
That's is EXACTLY what I've found as well.Originally Posted by Thunder
http://the16types.info/forums/viewtopic.php?t=15814Originally Posted by Thunder
hmmmm... none that I know of