Right.
I think a key difference is related to
.
That's more like wanting someone with strong
in their ego so that way, their will is imposed and thus recognized as some sort of affection or desire or attachment. That is ultimately not very delta - although I know several NFs who have responded
very well to the initial attraction or forwardnesss illustrated there.
The problem is that delta NFs, deep down, don't want someone to run roughshod over them (as a sign of romantic interest or illustration). Yes, I believe they enjoy being pursued and desire and wanted to be with, but,
because the world so much tries to run them over and put them into doormat or oppressed situations, they don't see that as indicating love. I've known delta NFs who have been in long term relationships with very willful people, people who want to assert their own wills in and above others, and it very frequently builds resentment, and a distancing. NFs especially do that in a passive way, over time, because they have such strong coping skills, and even perhaps think that they can or should be able to handle such.
And yes, if you're thinking to yourself - well some of that is not even related to socionics, and is more about a person's maturity; their capacity to love and to be in a relationship is outside of socionics -- you're absolutely right. But I do feel as if I see enough of a trend her to comment on it, for this to be significant.
To me (and I'm finding out just what this means the more I go through relationships with delta NFs), what "being pursued by a delta ST" means is this very subtle (or sometimes more overt)
supporting of the delta NF's
own desires, own will, own interests. So not domineering over those interests and neglecting them or asserting other interests (to exaggerate), but an actual "caring" about the other person's interests and well being.
This is really a curious thing to me because, (AS DEMONSTRATED HERE ON THE FORUM BY SOME PEOPLE
), there is at times extremely heavy resistance to anything related to caring or even catering to some delta NFs. There are some people, like Minde and some aspects of Maritsa, who are more open about how they'd like to be cared for or protected. There are others like Ritella and Lobo and Galen who seem revolted at such things, such 'signs of weakness'. There are other people who, as an EII, simply develop this mechanism that they don't need or deserve any help and sort of trudge along thinking 'it's just not for them'. And I've been in a relationship with someone who was, apparently, very strongly against any show of 'caring' for her, although it was a developed trait somewhat because she'd been run over so much in the past.
Like there are different manifestations of all the erotic roles, I think it comes out interestingly in what I'm getting at here. Delta NFs need to be 'cared for' in the right way, whichever way they've developed a reactionary pattern. But I think deep down that difference about their own self interests being supported, as opposed to bending to the will of someone else, is key. I don't know yet, as I'm sort of finding things out as I go, but, I wonder what people will say here.
And, if you haven't realized it by now, this is somewhat of a shift from what I originally wrote; I'm more in depth in this post. But I was curious about what delta NFs are attracted to and what they respond to, and how they interpret 'being loved' or 'being wanted' by someone else; what makes them feel a sense of really being in a relationship, being with someone.