Is this something you subscribe to? Personally, it annoys me.
Is this something you subscribe to? Personally, it annoys me.
I think in your own naïve Infantile way rather than in a doubtful Victim way. I believe the Russians pin the problem on not really being aware of what sort of sexual signals you're unintentionally giving off, not managing relationships with the opposite sex in any special way (when you really should be, you heartbreakers!), and a desire to not have to deal with sexual wants from others.
Whoever's description it was said it's kind of your dual's job to deal with closing the physical intimacy side after you manage the psychological distance side and then skit off like a butterfly
I think it's related to Ni. Wanting to have them make the strong Se push to win you over.
Life is hard enough as it is, I don't need to deal with more crap.
I tend to act uninterested regardless of my feelings. It's not so much prolonging the chase as not wanting to chase off the other person by liking him more than he is comfortable with.
Johari/Nohari
"Tell someone you love them today, because life is short; shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying."
Fruit, the fluffy kitty.
Do you know what the irony is? It's an LSE who's playing hard to get, and doesn't initiate.
YES! This is what I was thinking. I mean, how can someone be interested in you, and then suddenly detach and expect you to just chase after them? It just doesn't make sense to me... My gut feeling says that they are still interested but then they sure as hell don't act like it. I had to go to the gym to burn off steam, lol. What sucks is that probably the next time we have a convo I might just throw an Fi Hiroshima that is hard to control.
Do you know how many time's I've heard EIIs complaining about LSEs not initiating? (Twice!)
She's probably just getting caught up in social roles and trying to not scare you off or something. Silly Logicals use rules of thumb that they hear from magazines, friends, and friends who read magazines.
I wish you'd refrain yourself from throwing any kind of bombs.
It's an E8 LSE guy!
Well, it's not pretty... Basically it involves me laying the Fi smackdown, where I complain about how the person is so self-absorbed that they don't care how they make other people feel with their actions, and occasionally, I may result to using insults and shouting, which I then am a little embarrassed about later, lol. I tend to get confrontational when I perceive someone as treating me in a way that I don't consider fair... It kind of feels like when you put an animal in a corner, and they just want to snap.
It's not easy sometimes.
As I said elsewhere, the more upfront and direct, the more respect you'll garner. Being run over or hiding are not the way to go.
You don't have to let someone play hard to get if you don't want to - don't play along.
I hate to bring you down, but have you considered that he's not interested? If you don't know exactly how he's feeling then it's not fair to say things like "he's playing hard to get." If you're concerned enough about it to make a thread half-associated with your current situation, try asking him about it directly.
Of course I have considered it, which is actually why I don't like games... It's easy for me to doubt things and consider a change in behavior like complete silence as not being interested. The reason why I think it's a strange game is that one day everything was great and then suddenly the next few days there's blank, nothing... Asking directly feels like I'm just encouraging that by him remaining silent I will eventually give in and talk, thus being the "needy" one. I know that all of this is stupid, in fact I decided to ask directly last night, and I got the classic "I've just been busy." So that's that.
Relationships are weird, i've been really keen on people and they have been interested at first then lost interest. Annoying. Then I realise i've done the same thing to others i've not been interested in.
Apparently it happens that two people are equally as interested in each other at same time.
Life sucks, ha.
Not to say the LSE isn't interested, but dunno, for myself, if i'm keen on someone, I make the time even if I am busy...depending on how busy, 'busy' is of course.
I have no problem being upfront and direct, it's in not understanding the situation and then feeling like a fool and showing weakness if I'm wrong (I have issues, lol). I think it make things easier to take turns initiating, otherwise it causes confusion when nothing is happening.
I don't know about the socionics part, ha, but if I like an ENFp, I make the moves to talk to her and show interest, then i'm guided by if she responds in kind or remains distant.
I've experienced some who I think are quite attractive but they don't seem to realise that they are, sort of remaining in their own cookoo world, hehe.
Is it possible that something stressful suddenly happened in his life and he just isn't in the mood to hang-out with friends?
Obviously I don't know the guy or the situation, but have you noticed, or heard, about any odd mood or routine changes (i.e. ignoring friends, not showing up to places he normally goes, etc)?
I guess regardless, dropping the "Fi bomb" might actually help if this persists, it might be just the thing he needs to open up to why he's suddenly been cutting you out
EII INFj
Forum status: retired
Ha, well whatever type I am I can understand that. What personally vexes me is when two people get on, things in an intimate sense have occurred, then they withdraw.
If it's Fi, then perhaps it's to do with becoming more or less sure of someone, as I know i've done it myself. I suppose it can be tricky when things move too fast, but then, sometimes stuff happens.
Wow, no idea, ha.
Last edited by Words; 10-21-2010 at 08:22 AM.
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
It's way too superficial. It's one piece of evidence, it's not enough to say "there's no way you can possibly" be anything. I know beta STs who are very concerned about loyalty and intimacy - and I know beta/delta STs who aren't. I know plenty of delta STs who are womanizers and do exactly what you claim to be against Fi valuing.
There is nothing in socionics that particularly addresses what it takes, say, for a man to really want a relationship with a woman, or vice versa. It's beyond socionics' jurisdiction. Now, it may address some aspects of why a relationship with someone might be appealing (where Fe or Fi valuing would come into play), but one remark like what words said is definitely not enough to say much of anything. But taken with other things (maybe that's what you were doing? IDK), it might be more substantial.
I hear you about delta ST womanizers, sure. I'm aware of that, but that's when they go intimate with someone for Si reasons and dont care about forming Fi with that particular person.
But like, a guy who is UPSET about being treated that way... doesn't it support Fi-valuing? Because the way I see it is, specifically in words' case he started forming that bond (not for any Ti-motivated reason, in terms of it's a rule that if you're intimate with someone you can't leave, or something like that which would be more the beta ST thinking i would think).
Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx
Can you tell me about the Delta STs, specifically the ISTps, who don't care about "What personally vexes me is when two people get on, things in an intimate sense have occurred, then they withdraw".
I'd imagine that an ISTj would be more concerned about LSIs enjoy talking about probable developments in the areas they are interested in and what to do in the case of a certain scenario. This makes them feel adequately prepared for possible risks and dangers, which they otherwise tend to forget about [Ni HA] turned out to be wrong, or the other person stopped supplying such info, instead of nurturing an existing bond with an individual (Fi HA, or just Fi).
Either way, I can see how there's not enough information there, dunno, just curious what you say.