I was wondering how many dual couples everyone personally knew. I currently know four.
I know an Enfp+Istp (myself and my lover), two Estp+Infp couples, and an Enfj+Istj
Any stories of how they go together as well?
I was wondering how many dual couples everyone personally knew. I currently know four.
I know an Enfp+Istp (myself and my lover), two Estp+Infp couples, and an Enfj+Istj
Any stories of how they go together as well?
PeggacornENFP
At least 10, 4 ENTj+ISFj, 2 ENFp+ISTp, 2 ENFj+ISTj, 1 ENTp+ISFp, 2 ESTp+INFp...actually probably more than 10
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
When I first start Learning socionics, I thought the common people whould not know what they really want in their partner in a socionic level. Which we all here know that dual partner is what we seek, and that we get hook up with types that seemingly feel attractive in first glance but either long term and short term it will inevitably not piece the puzzle together. well at times in my work place where at a busy day I might interact with 300 customers in a shift, on a slow day I actually have time to talk to them give them small talk and believe it or not I introduce socionics to them as well. I have seen a pattern of how they each type handle themselves when they talk to me, and there is always a patnern, a mannerism and the way they approach me that I can instinctly pick up what their types are, that in itself is much more reliable that just a plain V.I picture. Not that my Socionic skill is super or anything but that I have just interacted with so much people that this comes instant to me, and to answer the question it surprises me how much people are with their duals. I often ask them how long they have been going out and they always tell me that it's about 5-7 years. some of the very common duality I have seem, ESFp-INTp, ESTj-INFj, ENFj-ISTj, for some reason I don't see Alpha Duals together very common.
Off the top of my head - -
- my brother (ILE) and his wife (SEI): married for many years, not one fight that I ever heard of
- an university mate (EII) and his wife (LSE): married since around 2000
- the daughter of a friend of mine - she's IEI, and her boyfriend is SLE, together for a couple of years
- a couple from my old PhD department, ILI f + SEE m - no idea what they are doing now, but they did get married
- an old friend from my undergraduate studies (SEE): after being married to an LSE for 10 years, she later left him and she's now with an ILI
These are examples of couples I got to know personally. I think I knew an SLI m - IEE f couple, but I'm far more certain of his type than of hers.
If we include mirror and activation couples, the list grows considerably.
, LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
Originally Posted by implied
2 ILE-SEI
1 LSE-EII
1 LII-ESE - Interesting story, this one. My best friend when I lived in SK was an LII and she met this guy on the internet, ended up in an internet relationship (which was weird because this was the friend who is all "Boys are yucky"). I was a little concerned about all of this because I didn't get a chance to give him the BF stamp of approval, she was 18 and he was 22, and they intended to f off to Japan afterwards to teach English. I ended up meeting him at their wedding a couple years ago (woah, the've been married two year o.O) and he turned out to be a fucking awesome ESE. lolz were had.
ILE
7w8 so/sp
Very busy with work. Only kind of around.
ISFp guy, ENTp girl
ISTj girl, ENFj guy
though not romantic, I know two ENFj girls who have ISTj best friends.
ENFp girl, ISTp guy (but they broke up But he was a jerk.
It's sorta sad I haven't seen more duals though...or maybe I wasn't paying attention.
Activity, semi-dual and mirror seem common though.
Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)
let's see...
ILI-SEE
(2) EII-LSE
(2) LII-ESE (one of which was my grandparents--grandpa died last year)
(2) ILE-SEI
(2) IEI-SLE (one of which is my brother and wife, together since they were 16, now 35)
ESI-LIE
IEI-Fe 4w3
A zillion.
1 LII-ESE
2 ILE-SEI
3 EIE-LSI
2 SLE-IEI
3 SEE-ILI
2 LIE-ESI
1 EII-LSE
0 IEE-SLI
That's not even counting family. I know a lesser number of mirror, activity, illusionary, and semi-dual. A couple of supervisory and benefit too.
IEE
you guys know alot of pairs of duals. i have a question for you, do they seem alot happier as couples than pairs of other relations??
yes, i was surprised to.
I know a lot of people and their types, but way less relationships, because I don't always know a person's partner. Also I know only 1 dual couple.
your second question: yes duality is indeed the best relationship IME. It's not hard to find when you are young, though it gets more difficult when older. Since it seems that only the ugly ones are left :-)
but now i have another question, if so many people get with their dual without knowing socionics than what does it help to know socionics??
maybe you should ask the people how many the percentage is of dual relationships.
Estimations are 30% I've read. But these also include people who are 60 years old and have been divorced 4 times.
So if you want to skip the misery (indeed supervisors and conflictors) and go straight for the jackpot, a little help of socionics wouldn't be bad.
Next to that, it's good to know that relationships are determined from the beginning, instead of believing 'you can make every relationship work if you want to' -crap.
does anyone know the appox ages dualities met and got together?
also, any personal dual stories to share?
...and for your own story or someone else's...I read, " Experiencing Dual Relations" stating that duals may sometimes have this "first encounter" and then separate to feel a certain magnetic effect. Does this happen frequently or do most duals stick to it once they meet their match?
PeggacornENFP
yes I've read that site a while ago and those 8 points are perfect!
When I met my first dual it was not really interesting. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just nice. No tensions etc. She wasn't really handsome so I wasn't really paying attention during our first date.
A week later I suddenly start thinking about her. I wondered how she was. I really cared about her. I wanted to know wether everything was oke. I felt almost an urge to go seek her, to see if she was oke. I never had this bond/feeling before with anyone else.
In the end it didn't really get to something serious.
With another dual I had a feeling of 'I've known you all my life'. She had that too. It was really odd. Like we shared the same history.
Points 1 to 5 are the best. 6 to 8 are also true but not something that surprised me during the encounters.
I had that feeling once with an SEI who, I later realized reminded me VERY much of my dad. So it can happen with people who aren't duals. But it's a strange feeling. And even after three years of knowing him, I still feel that way about him. That we've known each other all our lives or something. There's that connection.
IEI-Fe 4w3
I've also felt the "soulmate" thing with an ENFp girl other than with ISFjs, but the physical connection is better with the latter.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
because I am fascinated with duals! :] Now that I, myself have reconnected with my dual I want to know about all the other dual's past present and futures.
Also, recently I have been dabbling in a little hooking up. I want to be a match maker one day on the side of marriage counseling. >:] my Estp best friend is the same age as me, but hasnt had a long term relationship young--and yes, we're young blah blah...but yet its still a very real "fact" that it only gets harder as we get older and I figure its no harm if they are duals. My INFP friend, I met at college. I'm excited to see if it will work out :] it's very interesting to see that so many duals get together naturally.
but why don't some of them work? any long-term duality relationship break up (could be that they got back together in the end) stories about duals?
Last edited by 3RainbowSprinkles; 07-01-2009 at 06:14 AM.
PeggacornENFP
I've had one relationship with an ISFj that didn't work, because she was insane.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
this book has nothing to do with socionics, but promotes the growth of all different makes of couples between different personality types. what i find to be most interesting about the book is after they give you a description of your glorious joys and horrible frustrations, they give each member a personalized list of suggestions on how to reach the other partner. a set personalized for you and vice versa. It's really interesting and a little really does go a long way. for instance..ill show you some of what it says for you
INTP with ESFP [ILI with SEE]
"How to reach your [ILI] partner
*Try to learn more about some of the areas that interest your partner so you can discuss them intelligently.
*Give your partner plenty of privacy and time alone without guilt or blame.
*Respect your partner's independent nature ( ....and there are more)
How to reach your [SEE] partner
*Be positive. Express appreciation of many things your partner does to make you happy.
*Be willing to share what you're feeling and expereincing. Try writing notes.
*Respect your partner's need for love of fun. Try to accommodate him or her as much as possible. ( ....and there are more)"
maybe this may help you, maybe it wont. :] i hope it does. you can get a copy of the book here if you are interested.
i think its true, that apart of finding your dual is unexpected and spontaneous, but i also feel like there are little steps one can take to make the trip a little easier. if you went camping and forgot a tent last time, your most certainly not going to forget it a second time right? :]
it says also about u:
"[ILI] most important relationship aspects are: mutual commitment, fidelity, mutual support, being listened to, humor, intellectual stimulation, compationship and least important are: finacial security, shared religious beliefs...etc."
lol i hope you find that interesting too
that's really funny.
PeggacornENFP
I can't like calculate absolute value of dual pairs. But overall they don't seem that common. Based on what I have seen, the most common dual pair seems to be TiSe-FeNi. And SeFi-NiTe the least common, since I have never seen one.
...the human race will disappear. Other races will appear and disappear in turn. The sky will become icy and void, pierced by the feeble light of half-dead stars. Which will also disappear. Everything will disappear. And what human beings do is just as free of sense as the free motion of elementary particles. Good, evil, morality, feelings? Pure 'Victorian fictions'.
INTp
then if some of you here have not finished up with your dual it is not true that to find your dual means always be in love?? is it because of other causes or was conflict coming between you or is it the way i have sometimes seen people say that they are getting bored when they are with their dual for a long time??
and also if it is boring to be together with your dual for a long time than is there a way for to solve the problem?? i want to be with my dual but if we get bored, then may be i will not know then what to do if it happens
I don't think it's usually conflict that comes between duals. It's maybe timing--not being ready for a long-term relationship. Or having different goals, different values in life. I was with my dual when I was 15, for just a couple of months, lol. I think we just had different interests and neither of us fully recognized the level of comfort we were feeling. It was just so smooth. But sometimes when you're young, you're not looking for smooth, you're looking for excitement. Anyway, duals don't always fall in love, no. Sure there's a risk of becoming bored in a dual relationship. It helps to keep creating new goals together, new experiences to make life (and the relationship) interesting.
IEI-Fe 4w3
Yes.
And yes. 100%, especially the bolded bit.
On SEE-ILI in particular, a female friend of mine from high school and university was first in a serious relationship with an EIE, then she married a LSE, whom she left after 10 years (and a daughter).
Immediately afterwards she got together with an ILI, and they're fine to this day (as far as I know).
Commenting on this, she said that the ILI was the right guy for her, but also that probably she wouldn't have wanted to be with him during high school and college because at the time "she wanted above all to have fun" as in what niffweed calls "debauchery".
, LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
Originally Posted by implied
I know only a few..
- ILI male/SEE female; good friends of mine
- SLI male/IEE female; former neighbors
- ESI male/LIE female; coworker and her husband
- ILE male/SEI female; me and mine
It's quite amazing how things.. just work for these couples.
Cheers
I can attest to this. The age gap in our relationship is only 2.5 years, though, so she's only slightly behind me as far as these sorts of insecurities are concerned; many of the issues she's facing are those that I have faced before, too.Or maybe the age difference, because she's 7 years younger than me and I'm not patient about things I got over long time ago (timidity, uncertainty, interpretation of other people's actions and sayings).
I take this as an opportunity for growth, in that I can help her sort out these insecurities. I see this happening more and more as we build trust in one another.
It's also amazing how a relationship of duality leads to facing similar issues and drawing similar conclusions with vastly different methods.
Her sense of morals told her to take things slowly in our relationship. Having some knowledge of how relationships work through a study of psychology, I reached the same conclusion that she did, but I did so through my own method.
Oh, and this. A SEI's generosity just seems so.. genuine.Actually, I think I'm mainly motivated by people who help me and are kind without conditions and without one-way interest. Most of the time we're just happy to have each other around and laugh at each other without reason. I think it's fun to think about how your dual perceive the things compared to you, it's like when you watch puppies "fighting" or being territorial, lmao!
IEE-Ne | ENFP | 4w3-6w7-9w1 so/sp/sx | sCoA|I| | Sanguine/Choleric | Benevolent Inventor
birthday frog wishes you a happy birthday
birthday frog will give you presents and a card on your birthday
birthday frog is Fe incarnate
She comes from a culture where I needed to get to know her family before advancing very far with her, she'd never been in a relationship before and has had anxieties about providing for me, and her moral compass sort of points in that direction anyway. I'd also like to see her on a more stable career path before anything big happens between us. So a major part of our pacing is me catering to her situation.
But I also wanted us to take our time for my own sake. I'd been in a relationship that moved way too quickly for me, with someone I didn't even like, and that probably colored how I handled this one. I'm also one to take things way too quickly in my life, in general; I've just needed to slow down overall. I was also anxious that everything was going so smoothly with us; it was too good to be true, and it took me a while to accept it. Talking with her after the fact, she felt a similar anxiety.
We experienced that "click," too. The day we met, I canceled every other date that I had, because I just knew that I had to get to know her. She'd told me that she felt the same way. We know where we're going, but, yeah, we're taking it slowly.
And by "slowly" I mean pretty much the whole relationship. We didn't "officially" establish it until a month and a half after we'd met, though we both knew it was an inevitability. Taking steps have come with time and trust. But the pacing has worked well for us, given our respective situations.
We haven't yet gotten to a stage where we're sharing living space or many belongings, but I'm confident that that stage will transpire just as smoothly for us.
Wow. This would definitely describe how I see mine, too. Generous and detached, in a cute wayYes, I'll hope I'll find an image to illustrate their generosity. Is like that little child you meet in the street offering you an apple, completely detached from everything.
(If the child's head were pointed just slightly downward with eyes still directed upward, it'd be about perfect! )
I didn't have much of a working knowledge of Socionics or intertype relationships, but I did of MBTI and some psychology. Really, I'd been trying to date more extroverted women--namely, those who chased after me--and they weren't working for me. I'm not one to try the same tactics over and over, so I completely shifted gears. I instead tried for a different "class" of women--namely, the shy, artistic type. Then, it happened. Only afterward did I really have an explanation as to why things have worked as they have.. this notion of "duality" just seems to fit.Did you enter this Dual relationship as usual people, or did you know what you were doing, knowing about types and Socionics?
Did you have much knowledge of this business when you started yours? I know it helped me to have some idea of what might work for me while in the dating game, at least.
IEE-Ne | ENFP | 4w3-6w7-9w1 so/sp/sx | sCoA|I| | Sanguine/Choleric | Benevolent Inventor
birthday frog wishes you a happy birthday
birthday frog will give you presents and a card on your birthday
birthday frog is Fe incarnate
I can think of two definite SEE-ILI couples. Though one of them get into fights alot, I think this is because he doesn't show much appreciation for her and she doesn't know if he wants her around. I know two ESE-LII couples, one ILE-SEI, one IEE-SLI, one EIE-LSI, LSE-EII. I can think of one gamma dual and one beta dual couple. and then I can think of a few coupls that are either duals or are the same on T/F and j/p. I also suspect that my maternal grandparents were LIE-ESI.
LIE-Ni, i think, but maybe ILI
i recently set up a good friend of mine, an SLE with an IEI. They had never met before, and she [the SLE] was reluctant to go. When she went--never had she connected with someone on an emotional level like she did with this IEI. It's simply amazing watching this dual grow and blossom together. This duality thing is very interesting and how it works is even more interesting.
PeggacornENFP
the people who are with duals, where did you find them?? duals seems to be very diferent from eachother makes me think it is hard for them to meet eachother.
thread needs pictures.
ILE-Ti
6w7 sx/sp (low level of confidence)