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Thread: Who's your enneagram dual?

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    Maritsa you're weird and kind. Reminds me of several EIIs and IEEs I've known.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    In my experience, identical instinct stackings have the best odds of getting along in the long run: Sp/Sx with Sp/Sx, So/Sp with So/Sp, etc. Sx/So and Sp/So is like instinct conflictors as far as I'm concerned, the priorities are totally flip-flopped.
    In the case of sx/so with sx/so, wouldn't the lack of sp be a problem? I thought every instinct, despite of one's preference, had its place and necessary at some point.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nigh View Post
    Maritsa you're weird and kind. Reminds me of several EIIs and IEEs I've known.
    Why should anyone give anything to a selfish person who wants to only give "love" and nothing else when especially they expect to get so much? I give them an iron statue of myself and a big painful steel toe boot up their ass and throw them out. They can find doormat love from someone else.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    Why should anyone give anything to a selfish person who wants to only give "love" and nothing else when especially they expect to get so much? I give them an iron statue of myself and a big painful steel toe boot up their ass and throw them out. They can find doormat love from someone else.
    Hmm? You have no resemblance to any doormat. If the doormat is armed and can fly and kicks ass, maybe.

    Quote Originally Posted by nigh View Post
    Maritsa you're weird and kind. Reminds me of several EIIs and IEEs I've known.
    I said this with love

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nigh View Post
    Hmm? You have no resemblance to any doormat. If the doormat is armed and can fly and kicks ass, maybe.



    I said this with love
    I know

    Oh, did you know that Male ESI are EXCEPTIONALLY rare? I only know one female LIE and she's in here 50s
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    you can go to where your heart is Galen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nigh View Post
    In the case of sx/so with sx/so, wouldn't the lack of sp be a problem?
    Not necessarily. Around the Sx/So's I've known, I find that we can try to push each other out of our comfort zones and ultimately get frustrated that the other side won't budge. With other Sx/Sps there's much more of a smoothness in terms of how we engage with others and overall lifestyle compatibility.

    Quote Originally Posted by nigh View Post
    I thought every instinct, despite of one's preference, had its place and necessary at some point.
    Well sure. Each instinct is just one strategy for survival, none of which are necessarily better than any other.

    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    which one am I?
    Uhm, I've heard Social-first thrown around for you and I have no objection to it. From what I recall you have a penchant for indulging in gossip (your fascination with the royal family comes to mind in that regard), which is apparently a Social sort of trait. On camera there's a sort of diffuseness about your energy, and when you do actively engage it's in a bit of a distanced polite fashion which seems right for So > Sx. I hardly interact with you as it is though, so my impression of how you operate may be rather off.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae16t View Post
    Nigh, Enneagram is based on the ancient fears within our minds, so type to type is more about which type is least likely to cause said self-fears then not, which then, of course, improves relational ideas.

    Why thank you. I remember reading about similar points somewhere and then I forgot. Gotta study on that.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae16t View Post
    In terms of all of these theory sets -- they are just that. Big 5 comes closest to reality, how the brain actually works, and enneagram is about in the middle, with Socionics and MBTI pretty far behind. And some recent studies flat out contradict some of these theories. For example, strongest average scores of empathy were found in moderate extraverts, with a huge drop off in extreme introverts and extreme extroverts. Ideas like this put Big 5 in the running for least contradictory to the actual brain. Studies of introversion and extroversion correlate fairly well with the ideas of MBTI, Enneagram, and Big 5, but not Socionics, because Socionics is systematic and very black/white (it lacks spectrum).

    I used to look down on Big 5 cos it seemed so simple(thus boring) but what you're saying is intriguing. But aren't the ideas of introvert/extrovert in MBTI and introtim/extratim in Socionincs different things? Or am I mixing something entirely different? Sorry for being such a noob.






    Quote Originally Posted by Maritsa View Post
    did you know that Male ESI are EXCEPTIONALLY rare? I only know one female LIE and she's in here 50s

    Thought I saw a few of them(male ESIs) on this forum. Maybe I was mistaken.
    But then I've never met my identicals IRL. Female or male. No one. While I used to know one LIE girl.



    EDIT: I just realised I've definitely met some identicals and several LIEs. And so many others.
    Last edited by nigh; 10-10-2013 at 09:40 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    Not necessarily. Around the Sx/So's I've known, I find that we can try to push each other out of our comfort zones and ultimately get frustrated that the other side won't budge. With other Sx/Sps there's much more of a smoothness in terms of how we engage with others and overall lifestyle compatibility.


    Well sure. Each instinct is just one strategy for survival, none of which are necessarily better than any other.
    Point well taken. Maybe I worry too much about my lack of sp, thinking it should be detrimental to my life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae16t View Post
    some MBTI allows for a continuum between I and E, ...
    Maybe I missed something back when I was into that. Has I/E continuum been suggested in the official theories? Or among knowledgeable students? If you have a source... I'm curious. (Honestly wanting to learn.)

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    Hey never mind. I searched myself, and found that it was actually suggested as a continuum.

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    you can go to where your heart is Galen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nigh View Post
    Point well taken. Maybe I worry too much about my lack of sp, thinking it should be detrimental to my life.
    Well I think the idea is that people are at their healthiest when they can strike a balance between all three instincts. The stackings simply orient the relative priority depending on the individual.

    On the Enneagram Explorations facebook page, I recall Katherine Fauvre say how the last instinct is actually the most easily satisfied of the three. An Sx-primary will require a higher level of active engagement in their lives than the Sx-last, who only really needs a little bit in their lives to be satisfied. So the Sp-first can't go too long outside of their personal space without feeling unbalanced, while the Sp-last can largely ignore or forget about their own space and focus more of their attention outward. In this way, the last instinct can be just as much a strength as a weakness, in the same sense that the primary instinct can be a detriment when left unchecked.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    Well I think the idea is that people are at their healthiest when they can strike a balance between all three instincts. The stackings simply orient the relative priority depending on the individual.

    On the Enneagram Explorations facebook page, I recall Katherine Fauvre say how the last instinct is actually the most easily satisfied of the three. An Sx-primary will require a higher level of active engagement in their lives than the Sx-last, who only really needs a little bit in their lives to be satisfied. So the Sp-first can't go too long outside of their personal space without feeling unbalanced, while the Sp-last can largely ignore or forget about their own space and focus more of their attention outward. In this way, the last instinct can be just as much a strength as a weakness, in the same sense that the primary instinct can be a detriment when left unchecked.
    That's a really good info that I will ponder about for a long time. Thank you, Galen.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Nigh, when some dual shows up and makes their own rules about the relationship and it's not typical of Socionics roles, dump them. That is an individual who doesn't get it; that is an unhealthy individual that you do not want to be around.

    Being selfish is a coping mechanism for being alone; the reality is not every dual is like this and not every dual had to learn to be mean and manipulative to cope and when removed from harsh environments, these ass hole duals can't learn to readjust because they lack the resolve the intelligence all the while attaching some special meaning to words that aren't even apart of the Socion and because of this they don't fit the mold anyway neither can they figure out why they can't.

    Let's assume a healthy LSE someone like my friend from college, for instance. I gave him a description of the types and he picked his from reading the short descriptions in one go. He is married to an SLI (and of course the relationship lacks passion as it's clearly described in relations between them and he gathered that info -sadly) however he knows himself and his role. It's not that hard for a person to figure it out.

    No one needs to be around anyone who justifies their own bad behavior and rationalizes it away associating it to qualities or traits of some type that doen't even exist in the first place.
    Last edited by Beautiful sky; 10-02-2013 at 03:04 PM.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    wtf is going on in here?

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    you can go to where your heart is Galen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    wtf is going on in here?
    Maritsa's accidentally talking about real life again without solicitation.

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    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    Maritsa's accidentally talking about real life again without solicitation.
    reality is a good thing
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Bump

    7w8, 8, 5, 2


    Quote Originally Posted by Phaedrus View Post
    Every ENTj is an 8, and every ISFj is a 6
    And Phaedrus seems like such a wonderful person

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    Sevens!!!! - The "Enthusiast!" (Also, sometimes Threes, but almost never Twos or Eights...)

    EDIT: (essentially for me) Fe = Sevens, Fi = Twos, and Se = Eights... Dual would be 7w6, while "moth and the flame" is 7w8..

    Also: methinks 'Phaedrus' was a troll. Were any of his arguments not personal attacks? And his ideas about socionics were simplistic (a tad too much for me to believe otherwise...)
    Last edited by jason_m; 12-01-2015 at 09:52 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SisOfNight View Post
    Your Enneagram Dual: The Enneagram type(s) which is/are the most common for your Dual.

    In my case, those would be: 7, 8, 3, CP 6. And I do like those types the best romantically (leaning the most towards 3s and the least towards CP 6... I would not mention them as my "Dual Enneagram type" per se, but they can be alright, if not unhealthy.)
    Now, are you "Mylia Noir?"

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    Quote Originally Posted by jason_m View Post
    Now, are you "Mylia Noir?"
    Well. This is off-topic, haha.

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    you can go to where your heart is Galen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jason_m View Post
    EDIT: (essentially for me) Fe = Sevens, Fi = Twos, and Se = Eights...
    Do be warned that this is not the case. There are absolutely Fi 7s, Fe 2s, and Si 8s.

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    Subthigh Socionics Is A Cult's Avatar
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    According to correlations on other sites, the MBTI types most common amongst E2s are ENFJ and ESFJ (that probably doesn't take into account IMs though, of course), and vice verca, the most common E-type for ENFJs and ESFJs is E2.

    E7 seems especially frequent amongst EXXP types in general.

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    darya's Avatar
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    Enneagram "theory" says that 3's and 7's are the best match (also 3 + 9 and 3 + 5), specifically 3w4 and 7w6 and I have noticed there is lots of truth to that. 7's have lots of expectations and need constant stimulation, and 3's are good at shaping themselves so the other one is happy and in return admires them. 7's fleeting attention is a challenge for a 3. Enneagram dual pairs don't correspond to socionics dualities in most cases - E3 and E6 are said to be a bad match for example, which also makes sense from the way these types look at the world and people.

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    you can go to where your heart is Galen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by darya View Post
    Enneagram "theory" says that 3's and 7's are the best match (also 3 + 9 and 3 + 5), specifically 3w4 and 7w6 and I have noticed there is lots of truth to that. 7's have lots of expectations and need constant stimulation, and 3's are good at shaping themselves so the other one is happy and in return admires them. 7's fleeting attention is a challenge for a 3. Enneagram dual pairs don't correspond to socionics dualities in most cases - E3 and E6 are said to be a bad match for example, which also makes sense from the way these types look at the world and people.
    Who says this where?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    Who says this where?
    Type combinations below....the part about 3's and 7's dynamic from my personal experience.

    http://www.similarminds.com/idealtypes.html

    https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/t...-combinations/

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    Quote Originally Posted by darya View Post
    Type combinations below....the part about 3's and 7's dynamic from my personal experience.

    http://www.similarminds.com/idealtypes.html

    https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/t...-combinations/
    Oh, I've seen that first link. It's very bad.
    The second one seems to be arranged much better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by darya View Post
    Type combinations below....the part about 3's and 7's dynamic from my personal experience.

    http://www.similarminds.com/idealtypes.html

    https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/t...-combinations/
    Me with another Five: blah.... (But that's just me. I don't necessarily speak for everyone...)
    Last edited by jason_m; 12-02-2015 at 06:40 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    Do be warned that this is not the case. There are absolutely Fi 7s, Fe 2s, and Si 8s.
    Yes, but the Fe 2s and Si 8s I generally don't like, and the Fi 7s I like. I.e., this generally applies to me, and not necessarily other people...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    Oh, I've seen that first link. It's very bad.
    The second one seems to be arranged much better.
    Yeah, the first link is totally suspect, I pasted it because I agree about my particular type. The second link has good info which I find to be correct in most cases - from the couples and close relationships of types seen irl.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Subteigh View Post
    According to correlations on other sites, the MBTI types most common amongst E2s are ENFJ and ESFJ (that probably doesn't take into account IMs though, of course), and vice verca, the most common E-type for ENFJs and ESFJs is E2.

    E7 seems especially frequent amongst EXXP types in general.
    That's okay, as I might not be a typical 'INTj.' As for E2s, they are way too sentimental (read: sappy) to be my dual. E1s are too dry and E8s way too strong. That leaves me where I am.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jason_m View Post
    Me with another Five: blah.... (But that's just me. I don't necessarily speak for everyone...)

    Two of any same type is very bad imo. Socionics says you should love the sappiness of ESE's though, they're mostly 2w3 and 3w2 : )

    Edit: I've seen so many LII's role their eyes at dumb ESE's it's not even funny.

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    Quote Originally Posted by darya View Post
    Two of any same type is very bad imo. Socionics says you should love the sappiness of ESE's though, they're mostly 2w3 and 3w2 : )

    Edit: I've seen so many LII's role their eyes at dumb ESE's it's not even funny.
    Where I am with socionics is as much sense as I can make of it. Yes, E2 ESEs are generally too 'ditzy' and E8 SLEs too hostile (and, except for E7, the rest of the types are too dry...)

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    My preferred enneagram dual would be a 2w3 and the 279/278 tritypes. I would need someone with a lot of positive energy who can inspire me and break me out of my inhibited state. Least preferred would be 1s and 6s or too much 8.
    Last edited by Muddy; 12-02-2015 at 08:31 AM.

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    This is the worst compatibility chart for the Enneagram I have ever seen. I don't know anyone who has ever felt like "Yes, this applies to me exactly."

    It also makes no sense. Call this my Ti Hidden Agenda, "to understand", but seriously – why is the best match for an E5 another E5? How many E5-E5 marriages have you known? They are pretty rare. Identity marriages (e.g E5 LII – E5 LII) both in Enneagram and Socionics are not common anyhow.

    Furthermore, personally I have clashed with 6w5 several times by now. I would never say they were ideal for me.

    Based on my Enneagram studies, observations and interactions with Enneagram types, the one combo that actually relates to real life and "makes sense" the most in this chart is the mentioned E8-E2 one. A lot of E8 guys marry E2 women, I know of several E8 guys who have said they've found E2 women the most attractive (and vice versa), and both types share the growth/disintegration point, which according to several Enneagram authors creates a sense of camaraderie. This makes sense! Haha.

    Anyways, I don't want to bash you darya , my frustration is more directed at the chart itself which I have found to be mostly grossly inaccurate. I've expected better from similarminds.
    I've noticed you can relate to the E3-E7 pairing. As I have said in my earlier comment, this is possibly not a bad match. However... In light of E3-E7 and E2-E8 being the only "truly" compatible pairings, this chart is lacking in accuracy. And... I want to know their reasoning why they have put certain types together, meh.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SisOfNight View Post
    This is the worst compatibility chart for the Enneagram I have ever seen. I don't know anyone who has ever felt like "Yes, this applies to me exactly."

    It also makes no sense. Call this my Ti Hidden Agenda, "to understand", but seriously – why is the best match for an E5 another E5? How many E5-E5 marriages have you known? They are pretty rare. Identity marriages (e.g E5 LII – E5 LII) both in Enneagram and Socionics are not common anyhow.

    Furthermore, personally I have clashed with 6w5 several times by now. I would never say they were ideal for me.

    Based on my Enneagram studies, observations and interactions with Enneagram types, the one combo that actually relates to real life and "makes sense" the most in this chart is the mentioned E8-E2 one. A lot of E8 guys marry E2 women, I know of several E8 guys who have said they've found E2 women the most attractive (and vice versa), and both types share the growth/disintegration point, which according to several Enneagram authors creates a sense of camaraderie. This makes sense! Haha.

    Anyways, I don't want to bash you darya , my frustration is more directed at the chart itself which I have found to be mostly grossly inaccurate. I've expected better from similarminds.
    I've noticed you can relate to the E3-E7 pairing. As I have said in my earlier comment, this is possibly not a bad match. However... In light of E3-E7 and E2-E8 being the only "truly" compatible pairings, this chart is lacking in accuracy. And... I want to know their reasoning why they have put certain types together, meh.
    Lol, way to much outrage put into a chart I dont even agree with. I just wanted to post both compatibilitiea charts I've seen, since I was asked (maybe there are other ones too, I just havent seen them). I like *only* the second link. Dont put so much energy into what sone chart of intertypes relationships, enneagram or socionics, tells you should work in theory. Relationships are much more complex then that. Date who you're attracted to and get along with. I get that you take this thing as a hobby and it is interesting, but i think if you take it too seripusly it can have a negative impact on rl reltionships.

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    darya's Avatar
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    As to E3 and E7 being compatible, I do stand behind that claim. I've seen it work and read about it many times. Im not intereated to continue with this disscussion though, as it's all as non-provable as it can be and we will get nowhere.

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    Subthigh Socionics Is A Cult's Avatar
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    If 3s are a good correlation with EIE (and ESE), then perhaps socionically speaking, the best matches would be 6w5, and 5w4...and if 7s are EP-ish, then the best matches might be 5w6/9/4w5 (varying depending on the IP type concerned). (I don't know anything about any enneagram research myself, I should say though).

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    Quote Originally Posted by jason_m View Post
    Yes, but the Fe 2s and Si 8s I generally don't like, and the Fi 7s I like. I.e., this generally applies to me, and not necessarily other people...
    So wait, were you not making correlations b/w enneatypes and Jungian IEs? Or was this strictly an assertion of type combos that you personally like?

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    8w7 (and maybe to a lesser extent 7w8)
    their presence feels the most stabilsing to me. (i mean in general, not in a romantic relationship.)

    tritype: 873

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