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Thread: Not knowing when it's ok to leave

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    Default Not knowing when it's ok to leave

    this happens to me a lot

    I will say "ok" and start walking away, but the other person just keeps talking or his body language says something to make me think he has more to say.

    Is this weak Fe?

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    Unless you have formally said to someone you need to leave (and received a further response), you should consider the conversation ongoing.

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    Well that certainly didn't answer her question . . .

    I asked my husband if he had trouble with this and he said no, he knows when the conversation is over and it's ok to walk away. But I've seen him abruptly end conversations and move on and leave mystified people behind him. I think I generally kind of draw him back into the conversation when that happens.

    Anyway, I think it is indeed weak Fe.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    Creepy-Diana

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    .

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    Exits, pursued by a bear. Animal's Avatar
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    I have trouble with certain people - the kind who will say "Okay, take care of yourself man!" and then just stand there. Are we parting or no?
    "How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love."
    -- Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    Well that certainly didn't answer her question . . .

    I asked my husband if he had trouble with this and he said no, he knows when the conversation is over and it's ok to walk away. But I've seen him abruptly end conversations and move on and leave mystified people behind him. I think I generally kind of draw him back into the conversation when that happens.

    Anyway, I think it is indeed weak Fe.
    Oooh, that sounds like me

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    I never let that happen. I always give people my full attention.

    I wonder if UDP experiences things like that. (but I'll bet he doesn't.)

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    "I'm done talking, are you?" works very well in most settings.
    whenever the dog and i see each other we both stop where we are. we regard each other with a mixture of sadness and suspicion and then we feign indifference.

    Jerry, The Zoo Story by Edward Albee

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    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg
    I never let that happen. I always give people my full attention.

    I wonder if UDP experiences things like that. (but I'll bet he doesn't.)
    I am curious as to why you are wondering about me in that way.

    It depends; I do not usually experience trouble in this area, as you say Tcau, but there are situations of uncertainty for myself as with everyone else.

    For LIIs it may be difficult in that we feel we have said everything that is necessary to say, yet others may enjoy gabbing. Most of my trouble in this area comes from when I am not confident in my mindset or what my 'role' is supposed to be, what my objective is for that situation.

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    I have a few friends who show clear indecision on when to enter or leave a conversation. I have a friend who when I tell him that I am about to leave my room for a meeting or class, will repeatedly walk out of the room but then re-enter contemplating whether to enter the conversation. I sometimes show similar indecision, but I usually realize when I can't make up my mind, and I stop and try to make a decision as quick as possible whether to continue a conversation, staying in someone's room, etc., or to just end doing it.
    PoLR
    Suggestive Function

    Regular Double-shot Espresso Subtype

    Just because I'm a thinking type doesn't mean I'm not an idiot.

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    Don't forget the the thehotelambush's Avatar
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    Constructivism vs. Emotivism.

    Let's get an xxFj's opinion on the subject.

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    Ugh or like my girlfriend who will say things like "Would you like me to let you go?" or "If you're busy I can let you go." or however she does it makes you feel so guilty if you say yes.
    It's never a smooth goodbye or talk to you later with her. Always seems to give me that look of don't go.

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    i say ok i have to keep moving here, i enjoyed talking with you. then start moving.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    I always know when conversations are over, but if I had any uncertainy I would stay unil I was positive. It would be so rude to just walk away.
    EII

    I'll tell you what
    there is plenty wrong with me
    but I fixed up a few old buildings
    and I've planted a few trees.

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    This isn't a case of someone being uncertain, just being completely oblivious.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    I don't understand how someone can be obilivious to that.
    EII

    I'll tell you what
    there is plenty wrong with me
    but I fixed up a few old buildings
    and I've planted a few trees.

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockclimber
    I don't understand how someone can be obilivious to that.
    ...which is exactly why you don't have Fe PoLR.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    i can relate with that, jane. i can also do the thing that nicky's husband does sometimes. but even doing that with my family makes me feel odd because i worry that it will be rude?? generally i have to feel like i need some practical reason to pull away from a conversation or else i won't do it. if i theoretically have "nothing better to do" i'll probably just stand around and talk forever regardless of who is engaging me, especially if it's an interesting conversation.
    6w5 sx
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    sloan - rcuei

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    i think i am also kind of embarrased because I back track if I am not sure if they want me to stay; I mean obviously if they are talking it would be rude to just leave, but sometimes people continue to talk because you're still standing there, and yadda yadda yadda. Ugh. I worry about that too. I think I'm more concerned about being rude and not looking dumb that I didn't know the rules of conversation than about my time, even though I might resent that. It's just something that I'm not good at so I look to others for that information. ... sounds like the poster child of Fe dual seeking?

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    Éminence grise mikemex's Avatar
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    My fahter (INTj) does it all the time.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

    You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life.
    - Ole Golly from Harriet, the spy.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington
    i think i am also kind of embarrased because I back track if I am not sure if they want me to stay; I mean obviously if they are talking it would be rude to just leave, but sometimes people continue to talk because you're still standing there, and yadda yadda yadda. Ugh. I worry about that too. I think I'm more concerned about being rude and not looking dumb that I didn't know the rules of conversation than about my time, even though I might resent that. It's just something that I'm not good at so I look to others for that information. ... sounds like the poster child of Fe dual seeking?
    Carbon copy of my thoughts all day long at work.

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    That is why you have to go in with a preset mindset.
    Looking for Fe all the time and seeking Fi roles, honestly, gets annoying. So I do not play that game anymore, as they say.

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    Creepy-Diana

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana
    Threads like this make me wonder if I'm not really an INTj.
    yeah, same!
    6w5 sx
    model Φ: -+0
    sloan - rcuei

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    I don't have any trouble leaving. My strategy is similar to the one of Nicky's husband: if I want to leave, I leave.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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