Logical extraverts and ethical introverts
First pair: Logical-sensory extrovert (ESTj), ethical-intuitive introvert (INFj)
Second pair: Logical-intuitive extrovert (ENTj), ethical-sensory introvert (ISFj)
The most basic skill that the logical-sensory extrovert has - and values - is logic, the skill to be reasonable and to act logically. That is the only quality that makes them completely confident and content. Itís not important how clever they are, but if others doubt their logic, this does not confuse them. Because of developed sensing, they are extremely sensitive to the aesthetics of their immediate surroundings. It is interesting that their most active attention is not focused on the intellect of others [ - - ] but on othersí skill to act rationally and their appearance. It is not so important how clever their partners are; their elegance and physical shape is more important, since these depend only on their own efforts. Excessive weight is untydines [ -- ]. This is generally one of the most indecent phenomena. The ESTjs accurately and neatly differentiate beaufiful and plain things, but for their rational mind there is nothing that is beautiful and inconvenient, or useless, at the same time. They dress well and elegantly [ - - ]. They wear the same clothing for long, constantly astonishing others with their freshness, as if the factor of time did not exist. The ESTjs themselves will not put on inconvenient foot wear, since they live for themselves and not for their environment. But all others must dress only very beautifully for the ESTjsí aesthetical satisfaction.
Their attraction to the opposite sex (?) is completely conscious and they donít fear it. They pity those who try to hide it. They have more difficulty with feelings. The ESTjs feel the need for love, they want to be loved and be needed, but they donít know how to write a poem out of their love. An ESTj man tries to attract the girl with kindness, services, gifts, but not with beautiful words about feelings. This torments him, it seems difficult, meaningless. Feelings are their passive and therefore vulnerable side. They cannot quickly fall in love, they fear to be deceived, to mistake their wishes for reality. If love contradicts logic, they reject it. This is one of those types that are considered courageous.
In people with the developed sensations the intuition is not developed; therefore they exceptionally take chancs, they want complete clarity and confidence. They cannot love, if they think that their feelings are unreasonable. They cannot love someone, about whom they have doubts, whom they donít trust, which causes problems. They canít love even those who are too independent and so have no need constant aid and guardianship. [ -- ] In the sphere of feelings they donít feel up to taking the risk: they can desire those who donít desire them in return, but they canít love those that donít reciprocate their love. They need a partner with deep introverted feeling, and barely noticed balanced emotions on the surface, that is, someone, whose essential internal peace (?) is the skill measure the feeling of others with their own feelings. To logical extroverts, it is exceptionally important the positive and very tactful emotional estimation of all their behavior, concerns, and efforts. For them, life is clear, light, and intelligible, when they donít spoil the mood of their partners, when they make their partners happy.
The princess of the male ESTjís dream does not show initiative herself, she waits, until he notices her. But when he begins to pay attention to her, he does it very tactfully and is not negative even when joking. ESTjs donít understand sarcastic (?) jokes, they perceive them as negative evaluations of their own personality and that turns them away. They are not tempted nor attracted by mincing manners.
ESTjs feel responsibility for their partner. They are more aggressive when protecting their partnerís interests from real and imaginary enemies than they are when protecting their own. They worry about their partner, give them instructions, correct and regulate their activities. They do with pleasure all that the partner canít do Ė if the partner really cannot, instead of not being willing to do it. More precisely, they try to overcome difficulties that prevent the partner from taking effective action. They really donít like it, if the partner falls under the influence, and listen to the advice, of others.
Since this type has the developed and even nagging aesthetic taste (in the behavior, dictated by the second function rather than the first, people are always more nagging), they are inclined to dictate to their partners their own concept of beauty. They are always confident that they know what is beautiful and what isnít [ - -], and they donít regard it as too important whether or not it pleases other people or if itís fashionable. They find it much more difficult to live with someone who has their own taste than with someone who needs them to solve all aesthetical problems, who yields in this field, who listens to their indications.
Those are the most appropriate feelings of the ethical-intuitive introvert. They are the carriers of the quiet, internal sea for feelings, imperceptible to others. The peace of their feelings is fine and rich, self-sufficient, they do not need verbal proofs of love. Without words they see who loves whom and to what extent, who is necessary to whom, and who is not. This type has the valuable skill to adapt to the emotions of another person, to be anxious with another person, to remove emotional stress, to calm them. This is constant when they are in love in the depth of the soul [ -- ] although the impression most frequently produced is of being cold, locked in themselves, or even insensitive. Their love is [ - - ] intuitive, platonical, incorporeal.
Just as it is necessary for logical extroverts to love someone, but they donít know how to show it, the ethical-intuitive introverts need someone with that inclination. [ - - ] Courage doesnít come soon, it comes with the faith in the beloved and the confidence that their feelings will not seem ridiculous, that they will not be humiliated [ -- ].
The ethical introverts search for pleasant emotions. These are assured by the partnerís rationality, logic, skill to protect [ -- ]. No other proofs of love and conversations about love are necessary. What is necessary is that the partner will provide these pleasant emotions by his behavior: not being late to appointments, carrying out their promises, being polite, thoughtful. The expectation that is never deceived, but during which it is possible to dream as much as desired, is one of the greatest pleasures that the ethical-introverts get from the logical extroverts.
This girl (or man) is happy to live according to the aesthetic tastes and desires of someome else, not so much because she doesnít have her own, but because she desires the complete harmony of interrelations, complete confluence of will [ - - ] The girl wants what pleases him and to adapt to it. But unfortunate is the man who is not a logical extrovert and to whom she canít adapt, that is, he cannot satisfy her basic requirement: to always and everywhere have his opinion. Unfortunate is the man, who, although very clever, is inclined to present his opinions as reflections, not as short mandatory wordings. The ethical-intuitive introvert is constantly dissatisfied and unahappy next to those.
It is possible to tell this girl that her nature is not sufficiently strong, that each intelligent person must have an opinion and taste. But when in one marriage there are two persons with their own strong ďtasteĒ (two with no taste is also bad), for example, the logical-sensory extrovert and the ethical-sensory introvert, most often the result is not two independent tastes, but the fight between them, due to each othersí selfishness.