My sister is driving me CRAZY. She was just dumped last week by her boyfriend (I think ENFp but I'm wondering if I'm thrown off by the fact that he actually is a psychologist) so I'm trying to give her a break but I swear I'm going to kill her.
My in-laws are visiting for my daughter's birthday, and my sister decided when she heard my in-laws were visiting that she'd buy my parents plane tickets and get them up here too. BUT she didn't actually think things through. She has their departure date set as Saturday, which is the day of my daughter's birthday party. And she wants me to change the date of my daughter's party (for which I've paid a $150 deposit and have had 20 little kids RSVP already) because she wants mom and dad to be there. AND she also thinks I should be driving mom and dad to the airport with her. And she is continually punishing me in her little passive-aggressive way because of COURSE she can't come right out and tell me why she's angry and fight with me about it. She's always making plans and assuming other people will bail her out. So her plan *WITHOUT ASKING ME* was to have my brother drive with her to/from the airport with my parents and have me babysit my niece and nephew WHILE I'M RUNNING ERRANDS AND GETTING READY FOR A PARTY with 20 little kids. Because of course that's easier for me than for her to drive to an airport an hour away by herself. She is very very angry that I said NO to that and she is still trying to punish me. So, to punish me, she invited my in-laws out to lunch without me, and also without my husband or my daughter - you know, the people the in-laws are here to visit. This might not seem like much of a punishment but that's how my sister punishes people - she slights them and pretends she isn't doing it intentionally. My in-laws didn't get it and were completely oblivious and said, "Why wouldn't (my husband, daughter, and I) go?" So now I will have to go to lunch with my passive-aggressive sister on Wednesday.
And then, because my parents can't go to my daughter's birthday party that I planned, she decided to make another birthday party the day before. BUT AGAIN she just assumed we'd be available and didn't think it through. She set it up for while my daughter is in preschool and my husband is at work. So I said it would have to wait until that evening and she said she had to work that evening so it couldn't be then. So again, I'm in the wrong here because I won't force my husband to take the day off work (without pay at this point because he's used up all his vacation between us going to Australia in February, his folks being here, and us going to Disneyworld in a couple of weeks) and take my daughter out of preschool that day so we can go to this party she hadn't checked with me about before she planned.
She is also upset because my husband won't pay for my brother's divorce attorney. My husband said that he isn't getting divorced so he isn't going to pay for a divorce attorney, and he's very upset that there is an expectation that he should. And she doesn't come right out and tell me she wants it, she just keeps hinting about it because she can't come out and tell you anything. She also thinks I should reimburse her for my parents' plane fare. Like I can just give her money without talking to my husband about it - since he is the one who actually has a job and has money. And I know my husband will say no, and continually telling him my family wants his money just makes him dislike my family more.
So this is a long and boring story I'm sure. Ah the silly drama of my life. My sister and I are mirrors. We're supposed to get along pretty well. We *generally* do but . . . ACK.
I did find out this week that my ISFp father-in-law doesn't particularly like my ENTj mother. I hadn't noticed any particular interaction between them to get a scope of how he felt about her. But when I was complaining he said a few things about my mother telling people things like she's the expert about it all the time. So chalk another relationship in my family up to fitting the Socionics expectations.