Asking ISTp personal questions and evasiveness
I've noticed that when interacting with my dual, ISTP, things are very natural. However, when asked about a question about himself, or something that requires him to let his guard down, I've noticed that he abruptly turns away and looks into the distance and becomes evasive. Is this "normal" ISTP behavior? What are the signs that one can use to detect possible emotions that an ISTP hides?
That's a text-book example of ISTp behavior.
Is that a good sign? A bad sign? A sign that my ENFP'ness is starting to get inside his private world? Please, enlighten me. This is sooo fascinating. I love prodding people out of their shell.
He never, ever, talks about his private life or family, unless it's for a humorous anecodote. Even still, that's extremely rare. When he's done this "classic ISTP" behavior, he stops all speech, and thinks...I've "saved" him from having to answer any of these candid questions immediately, especially in a group...I don't want him to feel like he's being emotionally attacked, and so I think he's grateful for that. Any other insight o Wise One?
Now just a minute...Assuming that when asking an ISTP a question like "So who exactly are you romantically interested in?" shouldn't one expect this "turning away" action? If one receives another reaction, such as "No one." is this really the truth?
Your last post made me crack up. Those "womenspeak" questions that a guy usually doesn't clearly understand are questions I've asked him. LMAO. So what questions should I ask an ISTP? "HEY! YOU WANNA GO OUT?" Should I really be upfront? In what manner should I do this?
The reason I keep saying we need moderators on this forum...
Looks like a bot yea.
I agree with Pedro....
This is typical ISTP behaviour, look into the distance and avoid eye contact so you cannot peer into our soul, even though the ENFP still can.
{♠x<º))))><¸.·´¯`·.¸IcEPiCk¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>x♠ }
if you are an ENFp and he is an ISTp then there is no use in trying to alter your behavior to fit something, because you're duals. Just be yourself. Since you are a female, he will either want to fuck you or not want to fuck you.
Last edited by crazedrat; 01-28-2009 at 09:47 AM.
Wanted to...and did... now he is 'fucking me' in the other way. I say to him 'fine go be with that ex-wife bitch...I for one am going to CHOOSE to be happy..with or without him!' So basically I say F-you back to him...lolOriginally Posted by crazedrat
Teddybeanz
I don't like that kind of fucking.
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
Well you don't know your type yet so i can't really give any insight into the issue; other then that you obviously aren't ENFp so that advice that I gave you is crap
OMG I am going thru this same exact thing right now with an ISTP! It has to be 'normal' for them. Drives me freakin nuts! From what I gather, they are intimidated by our 'E' to some extent but who the hell knows how to get them over that. I've just backed off...I think letting them come to you is the answer. Yeah, its driving me off the deep end waiting for him to get off his ass and just do it already but I dont think they are very fond of change either so the thought of contemplating 'changes' that might come with a new relationship might scare them too. Now let me say I am new here so I dont know if the 'scared of change' is ISTP or just my ISTP guy but this rings so true to my situation too. I keep thinking he is just textbook "He's Just Not That Into You" but the more I read about ISTP maybe he is but its just his ISTP'ness getting in the way. But he's such a sweet, gentlemanly, adorable, kind, romantic, sensual, sexy, sweetheart that I will just wait let him lead if thats what it takes. (at least for a while...lol)
Teddybeanz
Hmm, an old one. I wish more SLI's spoke of their behavior instead of just me it seems. Maybe it's that whole 'privacy' thing. But yeah, in real life, it takes an extremely long time to get to know me but I don't think that'd surprise anyone. I really feel bad for people who try. I've said it before but a few times i'd be in relationships with people and i'd step back after a few months and realize that hey, wtf, I've only told them my name and how many family members I have and they've told me their entire life story, dreams, goals, etc. Then I question what I'm doing with them if they're okay with knowing so little...?
One of the worst things in the entire world is someone asking me about myself. I hate it. I can be honest on here but it's really tough face to face. I'm not put off by extraversion...not at all. I think it's the whole Fe thing that freezes me up like an ice cubeNo thanks. It's good that you can at least notice and appreciate he has good qualities.
And might I just say this whole "He's Just Not That Into You" phenomenon irritates the hell out of me. Relationships and their problems cannot be explained away by some stupid "rules". Go with what feels right, that's all you gotta do.
I had that same dillema w/ an ISTP I dated a long time ago. He seemed extremely interested in person, but then days or even a week might pass in between texts (and usually text not phone). I figured it was the ISTP thing, and when I'd ask him about it, he even said that was what it was.
It turned out he did really like me but was still getting over his last relationship, so I moved along. So it ended up not being the ISTP thing at all, but more confusion over whether he really wanted to be w/ me or not (i.e. I was not "the one").
But the thing about him was, he was so closed off seeming that I had so much fun diving in and throwing all of this Fi everywhere and I think (especially back then) I really was trusting and not at all concerned w/ getting hurt, so I think he did open up pretty quickly. I made it so ridiculously obvious that I liked him, and I think I even told him that.
I didn't really ask him personal questions though. I would say stuff about my own life, and show some curiousity about his (maybe a facial expression) but I didn't want to back him into a corner w/ a question like "tell me about your family!!" So I would just talk about mine really honestly and figured he'd tell me what he wanted to. And he told me a lot. I liked that.
Of course, I did end up getting hurt w/ that one though...I don't think ISTPs are at all timid when they know for sure they want something. They are pretty darn courageous I think and I do think if you have to wonder, it isn't his shyness.
Hi! I'm an ENFP. :-)
Isn't that generally the overall message of these types of movies?
Probobly. I refuse to watch those movies, though. I wasn't only talking about that new movie, I know a couple people who regard that dumb book as if it holds all the answers. Oh! He didn't return my text message after 5.5 minutes, he's just not that into me! Ben and Jerry's here I come!!!!11 It's sickening.
Hallelujah, another female who hates romantic comedies. Gag. The only thing they're good for is making fun of the previews. Remember Fool's Gold? When I saw the preview, I turned to my SO with the most earnest look I could contrive and stage-whispered for the whole theatre to hear "Oh my god, do you think they find the treasure?!!!"
SLI
what do you want to know. (Ehh.. you talk about your behaviour?)
Well then it's their problem if they've been with you for months and they haven't managed to work out what you're about and if they lilke it.But yeah, in real life, it takes an extremely long time to get to know me but I don't think that'd surprise anyone. I really feel bad for people who try. I've said it before but a few times i'd be in relationships with people and i'd step back after a few months and realize that hey, wtf, I've only told them my name and how many family members I have and they've told me their entire life story, dreams, goals, etc. Then I question what I'm doing with them if they're okay with knowing so little...?
Tell them to fuck off.One of the worst things in the entire world is someone asking me about myself. I hate it. I can be honest on here but it's really tough face to face. I'm not put off by extraversion...not at all. I think it's the whole Fe thing that freezes me up like an ice cube
You just put a rule on saying it can't be explained by rulesAnd might I just say this whole "He's Just Not That Into You" phenomenon irritates the hell out of me. Relationships and their problems cannot be explained away by some stupid "rules". Go with what feels right, that's all you gotta do.but fair enough.... Just don't tell too many people on a socioincs forums that relationships can't be explained by rules hahaha
Last edited by Cyclops; 01-28-2009 at 09:42 AM.
The ISTp i know revealed all this shit about his personal life and about people we know etc. I didn't prompt it at all but you know things are going well when an ISTp does that lol. He seemed genuinely happy to get it off his chest. I was just very non-judgemental of his situation which he really really liked i think.
Last edited by meatburger; 01-28-2009 at 10:10 AM.
ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin
i thought you were a male. are you gay?
I feel like that's all i go on and on about. It's probobly going to stop.what do you want to know. (Ehh.. you talk about your behaviour?)
woah hey back off!
"Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."
- Voltaire
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