Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: How do you express love/affection to others?

  1. #1
    Spiritual
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    Celestial Sli
    Posts
    3,449
    Mentioned
    415 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default How do you express love/affection to others?

    In romance, which things or in which way do you do to express love or affection to your partner?

    How love manifests in you?

  2. #2
    Starvish's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    TIM
    IEE
    Posts
    287
    Mentioned
    32 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I make fun of them a lot. I say stupid shit to get a reaction out of them, show them awful videos and memes, and I draw all over their stuff. My girlfriend finds it very charming.

  3. #3
    Xaiviay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    TIM
    SEI-Fe1 9w1 sx/sp
    Posts
    468
    Mentioned
    69 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    Very blatantly, like "I love you and nothing you can say or do will sway me one bit." I decide whether or not I like someone very quickly, and my knee-jerk reactions to him in our first encounter are amazingly telling in terms of how well we will relate over the long haul. If I ever get a bad reaction to a guy, then I let him convince me otherwise through more interaction, I always have regretted it because my initial impression was the correct one.

    So I've learned to trust my gut instinct when it comes to guys, despite all the popular advice about "you don't really know if you love someone until getting to know them". I do know people, from the most basic physical traits. Every little movement and expression tells me a lot about who they are. You can't hide emotion from me, unless you are an impeccable actor. Even then, I will pick up on your baseline demeanor and learn to see when something is off in your emotional expression...My lead sensing picks up on a huge number of physical details, and I think...my unconscious intuition helps to piece the information together.

    I develop interest in someone fast and hard, when I like them. So my attitude is like, "I've made up my mind - I like you, and nothing you can do will stop me from liking you". I'm very passionate and have a really hard time holding back my feelings. I long so badly to make him feel the full force of my passion for him, so he sees himself through my eyes. I want him to feel adored, admired and proud, and to sit back and appreciate my expression of love.

    In terms of Si, I've never had a boyfriend who enjoyed my Si caregiving, but in my heart I long to touch him in a relaxing way...even when he doesn't need any comfort or soothing. I just want to make him feel relaxed and comfortable in his skin. I love to cuddle him all the time, as often as possible.
    I have no problem initiating sex. I want to have sex as often as possible with him. This is the main area where I can express my feelings for him, physically and emotionally. I hold onto him tightly and touch him as much as possible, like I must memorize every inch of his skin or else I will not be satisfied. I like to see him take in this attention and feel validated from it, like he glows with pride.

    Obviously if he has other needs from me, I will do my best to meet them too. Loving someone makes their happiness just as important as your own, and it makes caring for them to be incredibly satisfying.

    Also, I feel highly reluctant to pressure him into doing anything, or changing anything, when I love someone. Setting boundaries against something he's doing in our relationship is painful to me - not part of my dream relationship. I've learned to become a lot more assertive out of necessity, but ideally I wouldn't have to have a struggle of wills with him, at all. We'd both be in harmony with each other, as little conflict as possible. It's like my default attitude is to support all of his dreams and just let him be himself.

    So yeah, basically lots of 'in your face' emotional passion, cuddling, and (as much as possible without enabling negative behavior) unconditional acceptance. I'm not very complicated, lol!

  4. #4
    Sisyphean's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Location
    Don't ask
    TIM
    Something with Ni
    Posts
    483
    Mentioned
    25 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I just end up finding a way to spend more of my time with them, I speak more candidly, I seek them out without the other person having to initiate anything, and I cut loose with the banter (both crude and shit-talking). I also get more physical--a lot of rough aggressive hugs. Direct earnest statements of affection have always made me trip over my own tongue and get extremely awkward.
    "I would rather be ashes than dust"

    "Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked."

  5. #5
    Darn Socks DirectorAbbie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Southwest USA
    TIM
    LSE
    Posts
    7,123
    Mentioned
    383 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I'm not into romance.

    I express love to my close friends by trying to spend time with them, or by sending them things, usually specially-made and with a reason behind it that may be based on a conversation we had two months ago that they forgot but I didn't.
    I also show love by prioritizing people. If a rank-3 friend and a rank-1 friend both want to talk to me, I can tell the rank-3 friend they've been superseded. And this system may seem rude, but I think most people do that. They just aren't conscious of a ranking system. But other things factor in too. I would pick a rank-3 friend who is usually busy over a rank-2 friend who's usually accessible.

    LSE
    1-6-2 so/sx
    Johari Nohari

    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

  6. #6
    Aramas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2,263
    Mentioned
    127 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    If I like someone, I hang out with them / do stuff with them apart from other people. I don't really give signs of affection like holding hands and crap like that. I've had guys try to hold my hand before. It always gives a rather off feeling and makes it more difficult to walk. I will sometimes do sneaky erotic things in public just for the hell of it or because getting away with it is fun.

    It's rare for me to do anything more than hookups though. I've tried romance a few times and it was never all that appealing & always fucked up in the end. I just don't get attached to people emotionally. Maybe like once or twice in my lifetime, I've had a true crush. Mistakes, both of them.

    I feel like the impact of the experiences/situations I've had in themselves was more lasting/central in my mind than the people, even though they were part of the experience. Kind of an odd thing to say, and I'm not sure anyone will get it, but thought I'd say that.

  7. #7
    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Finland
    TIM
    SEI
    Posts
    4,172
    Mentioned
    306 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I dont know. I don't express much affection. If I like someone I want to hang out with her and do things together, go to places. That is important for me.

    Maybe go on a picnic

    Intimacy of course. But intimacy is strangely impersonal in a way. Maybe it is the Si.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

  8. #8
    Moderator xerx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Miniluv
    Posts
    8,051
    Mentioned
    221 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    sex.

  9. #9
    https://youtu.be/JirvSuZQ-gA?t=225
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Location
    best coast
    TIM
    IEI 9w1
    Posts
    575
    Mentioned
    27 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    zero romance/affection if I'm honest, and I can almost tell how my parent's love life affected/is affecting mine. They were basically business partners lol. Not that I would want a partner to make money with, but more that I focus on mutual interest and conversation over the feely stuff. It's not like I'm turned off by it, It just requires alot of mental energy to force myself to express something towards a person.

  10. #10
    f.k.a Oprah sbbds's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    TIM
    EII typed by Gulenko
    Posts
    4,671
    Mentioned
    339 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    I am shy but I actually put a lot of effort in and try different methods. I try to give them food and other gifts, am very physically affectionate, compliment them, try to make them laugh. I try to improve and add to their life any way that I can and make them happy.

    Recently, I also give them business advice lol.

  11. #11
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    15,766
    Mentioned
    1404 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)

    Default

    The relatively serious feeling I understand by appearance of a compassion and its' developing. This may lead to the corresponding taking part in pair's life as a friend.
    If I like someone - I want to care, to be sincere.
    I tend to introject personal traits. Think and fell similarly, changes the perception of own self. More behave like feel the pair wants, what makes her to feel good.

    rather common, I suppose

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •