hotelambush Questionnaire (switchblades)
Tell me about yourself
I am a musician and sometimes a graphic artist and self-proclaimed aesthetician. I'm a bit too obsessed with my own looks too. I'm really emotionally volatile and dependent on substances. I sound a lot like your typical starving artist type. But I have the spirit of a punk rocker.
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
I currently make music and I'm trying to find a stable job. I came to doing it first by being influenced by musicians I felt connected to and wanting to make myself heard and known. I like doing it because it shows that I've produced something of value and that reminds me of my inherent value though I feel flawed. I dislike it sometimes because I can't always write exactly how I'm feeling at every given time.
What are your values, and why?
I have strong values like I think people should not litter or show the Earth disrespect. People should not fake out on friends and those who do are not true friends and should be told so. I hate fakeness but I appreciate those who are being fake in mission to find themselves, I can't hate on that because I've done it too. Why? Well I'm not entirely sure why, I just know I feel this way and I don't really choose to question it.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
I usually listen to lots of music, I love being in my own feelings, I like music lots of the time not just for the feelings it creates but the images I see in my mind. I usually take lyrics very literally but this doesn't mean the images I see are uninteresting. There's a beauty in the simplicity of it all but it's also kind of complex. I do lots of things I do because I feel they fit my image. Drugs, music, looking at art. It just feels right.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
I look for people who can give me the things I need to feel more as myself. It seems kind of selfish but I think friends are extensions of you. Without them sometimes you can't really be you, you know? People can bring out the best and worst in you. In romantic relationships I really approach things sexually, I am obsessed with sex not only in a physical aspect but there's also something beautiful about it. Sex feels like an aesthetic need too.
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen?
Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
I've conflicted a lot in the relationship aspect but more with myself. I get off on being desired as I felt undesired for so long. I'm currently dating 1 girl and chatting with many others and I'm in a bind because on one hand it's wrong because I should show my partner the most attention but on the other it feels my desire to be desired. I get into conflicts with others mostly when it comes to my emotions. I don't wish to be so violent with them but it feels hard to put them aside.
How would your friends describe you?
My friends usually see me as chill, jokingly they tend to call me "emo" since I dress in black most of the time and tend to talk about feeling sad a lot. I'm seen as generally fun to be around though despite this and one of the funniest people.
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
I'm just too emotional. Not so much that it stops me from taking action but enough to the point where I can't put the pain aside. In a sense, I am working but with someone whipping my back to the muscle every push, pull, and shove. I often get criticized for not opening my mind though, I am a bit closed.
What things do you find to be a chore? What things do you enjoy more than others?
I find chores to be a chore.I don't like things like schoolwork and homework. I enjoy art and music more than anything.
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future? How did you come to have them?
I want to create a room filled with all of my art and things I've loved through out my lifetime and die there. It's kind of a huge art project that I had in my head and had to apply it to reality. I kinda always wanted to have my own personal room to decorate. The death is just another thing I've always wanted. I don't wanna live long.
If you had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life without working, what would you do with your time?
Make my dream room and maybe buy a surplus of my favorite candy. Buy lots of drugs too. Buy lots of clothes as well.
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
I like people who really care about others. I guess what others like that I don't really like is fakeness and people who think I must share all my emotions in such a direct way rather than say them through my art, lyrics, and clothing.
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)? What do you think of daily chores?
I always try to straighten up my room or clean my desktop. Changing themes and online avatars is common for me. Even when I'm doing something else, I'm always thinking about how I can make myself look more artistic and interesting. Daily chores are totally fine and I don't mind doing them if I feel they are necessary.
How do you behave around strangers?
I'm really well-wishing, I tend to be on the quiet side and I've been said to be charming despite my lack of speech. I usually seem distant but also preoccupied if that makes any sense.
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
I usually insult them back. It's a simple thing.
What is one common misconception that people have? Explain why it is wrong.
That I'm apathetic. I'm just really in my own feelings and how they relate to things. But that's exactly the point, I care too much because I'm always empathizing.
What did you do last Friday?
Went out and did some drugs with my friends, the usual.
What is your biggest accomplishment?
Finishing my first album and getting listens on SoundCloud.
Who do you admire, and why?
I admire Kurt Cobain and XXXTENTACION. Both powerful and emotionally volatile people who changed the scope of music and inspired tons of angry youth just like me. And I want to do the same.
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
Not really, just passing on by.
What are your religious or spiritual beliefs and why do you hold them?
I'm a believer in myself mostly. I respect the idea of a God and I think people having their personal views and faith is a wonderful thing. I hold these beliefs because there's only me in this world, without me, there's no knowledge of it existing. I'd be dead!
What are your political beliefs, and why? To what extent do you care about politics?
I'm pretty much a libertarian and that's a stretch. I'm extremely politically apathetic but I used to like identifying with extremists because they had passion and I love being passionate.
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
Yeah! I wanted to start a record business and be the main producer.
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
I look for a work environment that pushes me and keeps me always moving. Downtime is nice but I kinda want to further things for my personal goals.
What is or was your favorite school subject and why?
I always liked History since it was easy
Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
I went to California to see some family. I liked it mostly because California has a great climate and I had lots of fun on a trampoline there.
What were you like as a kid? How have you changed since you were a child?
I was really active as a kid, always playing and doing something active. I liked playing aggressively and liked sports. I have changed by becoming a bit more quiet but I'm still really aggressive at times.
Do you like kids? Why or why not?
Kids are the future, I kinda feel like I gotta love them in a way. Kids have the innocence so many lack.
