IEI Insecurities With SLE/SEE
I tend to read too deep into things and feel I intuitively "know" things about this Se dom. I'm not sure if they're ESTp or ESFp but it makes me feel insecure. Yet, I can't help it. It's like everything they do/say to me I interpret it to mean abc & d. How do I stop doing this? I don't want to self delude.
Write down what you think. Keep a record, and read it as if it were written by someone else. Your normal powers of analysis should make the truth of the matter plain for you to see.
IEI's only have trouble with analyzing subjective feelings, not objective feelings.
*EDIT* I feel that IEI's can self-delude themselves about how they feel, but they are almost never wrong about how other people feel. Just get those feelings outside yourself, by writing them down.
Also, this might help: http://www.jennifersoldner.com/2016/02/ni-ti-loop.html
https://personalityjunkie.com/07/infj-other-side/
https://personalityjunkie.com/05/inf...motions-part-i
Last edited by Adam Strange; 02-26-2018 at 07:11 AM.
If you feel uncomfortable stay away from them. If you are unsure if something is the case or not then ask. If you are curious but can't know yet then shelve it for later insight to be added.
Sounds like an IEI being attracted to something risky (Se seeking), or rather someone. So it creates the whole IEI tortured love thing will I won't I.
Sounds to me you're getting what you need without taking it further. For IEI they tend to leave it up to the aggressor in such scenarios.
But, you do seem interested all the same.
^ This is very true...but I can't get into detail.. I read a post by an SLE on here who was complaining about IEIs searching for deeper meaning in everything and that's what I mean.. Like if this Se dom "Likes" something on my FB one day and skips over something another day, I psychoanalyze them or read to deep into their actions. It was only brought to my attention that they were just living for the moment but I was misinterpreting their actions as "signals" or "signs" & that's what makes me insecure about self deluding.. Not necessarily about how they feel.. I don't know how to stop doing this because it is my natural mode of operation. I don't want to appear "crazy" to them but at the same time I wonder if my personality could intrigue them, as well... especially if they are ESTp. They seem like an open minded person who likes new viewpoints. I guess I am looking for ways to impress them and to not come off as bizarre as to not scare them..Originally Posted by at sirac son of sirac
And thank you for the links.. <3
What SLE's like is someone who makes it clear that they like them and is loyal to them through thick and thin (which means their screw-ups). They have 1D Fi and 2D Fe. Note in another current thread that an SLE stated that he really liked it when his crush made it obvious that he was happy to see him, and note also that he had to consult his buddy to see what he thought about his crush's feelings. Because he himself couldn't tell. SLE's just have a hard time figuring out how they feel, sometimes. (Guess who else has 1D Fi and 2D Fe?)
They also like someone who is diplomatic (Fe) with other people and can advise them about interpersonals and can also tell them when it is the best time (Ni) to do or not do something.
It was only brought to my attention that they were just living for the moment but I was misinterpreting their actions as "signals" or "signs" & that's what makes me insecure about self deluding.just try not to do this otherwise you turn into delta NFs. Get into the flow with them and don't try to feel insecure which might be clouding your perceptions. Ruminating is a habit everyone must drop at some point. As to the hows, I can't say for you.
But doesn't this beat the Aggressor-victim logic?
C-EII-INFj 4w3 Sx/sp 479
Not really. SLE can easily tell how much resistance a person has to their volition or potential volition but it’s a different story with 1D Fi.
SLE-Ti
This sounds likealso
Are you sure you are IEI?
The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.
(Jung on Si)
I am still unsure if he is SLE/SEE... When we first met, I was super open & direct about how I felt and child like.. But this person is kind of famous & their position is problematic. I even wrote them poems and sent it to them..etc . He seems to like direct compliments, which is my normal style but I think this is a case where someone could be simply flirting. (There are elements to this that would be deemed unethical which is why I'm leaving details out.
Also, I have a few mental disorders like BPD & Bipolar so I have "abandonment triggers" which are sometimes imagined . I'm certain I'm an IEI as I lead with Jungian Ni .. and am freely/directly expressive & etc..
But my insecurities get the best of me in romantic endeavors and I like for my guys to usually be the aggressors but I've been forced to be the main aggressor due to the circumstances, which has been unusual for me.. Anyways, thanks for replying with your insights..
I will be fine
I’m sure you will be fine. IEI’s have a way of landing on their feet.I am still unsure if he is SLE/SEE.
...I have "abandonment triggers" which are sometimes imagined . I'm certain I'm an IEI as I lead with Jungian Ni .. and am freely/directly expressive & etc..
But my insecurities get the best of me in romantic endeavors and I like for my guys to usually be the aggressors but I've been forced to be the main aggressor due to the circumstances, which has been unusual for me.. Anyways, thanks for replying with your insights..
I will be fine
I do think that IEI’s can have abandonment issues and are often driven to stay connected, especially given the nature of their duals, who can be mistrustful.
Letting the guy take the lead is probably the best course in your case. If he doesn’t pick up, he doesn’t pick up.
Personally, it took me a long time to understand that relationships can’t be forced, but rather have to be freely chosen by both parties. Which probably sounds ridiculously obvious, but some truths can be obscured by bad teachers.
I find the biggest difference between SLE and SEE is how we get along. With my dual SLE, we tend to get closer and closer each time we interact with each other. With my semi-dual SEEs, I tend to find them interesting and we seemed to get along quite well too but then there is a roadblock when we try to get closer. With SEEs, I just can't seem to get closer to them the way I am able to with SLEs.
IEIs seem to often undervalue their thinking processes so they try to conform to the ethos of the group they're with. They need greater measures of self-confidence to truly participate and contribute to group activities rather than just tag along. Among safe family members, they can be quite opinionated and forceful. S-types tend to be rather pragmatic, which is a skill that IEIs sometimes would like to have so they may envy it or try to copy it not realizing the value of their own insights. Self-confidence is not a skill to learn - it's a realization of one's own worth.
a.k.a. I/O
It also comes from understanding every little bit of what is going on, supposed to go on, and is allowed to go on, and how its all done. Essentially, self confidence is knowing the territory, and not necessarily meaning the terrain.
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