Type me off this questionnaire.
Tell me about yourself.
31 year old guy from the UK.
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?
Right now I’m unemployed. I’ve spent most of the last 9 years since graduating university with an honours degree in Business Information Systems working in crappy entry-level jobs and trying to keep my head above water. Too much time spent on benefits, as well.
What are your values, and why?
To treat people that I deem to be worthwhile with love and dignity. To learn new things. To be self-sufficient and financially steady. To be generous with my friends and loved ones and help them out when they need it. To enjoy relationships and the myriad pleasures of life. To teach and guide people on subjects I know about, and stimulate intellectual discussion.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?
When I’m working, obviously I put most of my effort into being successful at my job. Right now, when I’m not looking for jobs, mostly I study topics of interest to me (including Socionics), play games, watch streams on Twitch.tv, and socialise over the Internet in the Daily Mafia social game community, since I’m out of work. I play a Dungeons & Dragons campaign over the Internet with some friends every Sunday morning.
Describe your relations with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?
My mother passed away in 2015, but I have a solid friendly relationship with my father, who I catch up with once a month for lunch and drinks. My mother was quietly caring but could be very pedantic and sharp-tongued at times. My father is financially successful, organised and intelligent but emotionally distant and occasionally awkward in public. He’s ILI-Te; never got the chance to type my mother before she died. My grandparents all died many years ago, so I can’t talk about them too much. I have two teenage half-sisters on my father’s side, both of whom are Beta NFs (EIE and IEI). I don’t speak to them often but when we see each other we generally get on okay.
What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?
Honesty, integrity, consistency, well-wishing good-nature, shared interests. I like intelligent people who I can sit down with and talk for hours, if I feel like it. I appreciate depth in a relationship of any kind, rather than having a lot of superficial friends. Having said that, I typically get on well with most people on a casual basis, and I make friends easily. In romance I want a loving, emotionally supportive partner who wants to spend a lot of time with me and gently encourages me to do things, since I tend to be quite inert when people don’t need me. I enjoy quiet harmony in relationships, so a gentle-hearted yet supportive and intelligent girl would be ideal.
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?
My father has demonstrated underlying disappointment in my inconsistent career, and keeps trying to tell me I need to create a plan for my future, which I find irritating, since I’m the kind of person who lives life day-to-day and planning things out is not really my gig. The problem is, I keep running out of money. I often get into logical arguments with acquaintances on the theory of how best to play certain games. Usually I’m right, but sometimes people are bloody-minded and keep pushing their crappy opinions as objective fact, which I find annoying.
How would your friends describe you?
Kind, honest, supportive, intelligent, consistent.
What do people generally see as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
I’m good at breaking down complex problems into simple understanding and generating solutions based off of that. I’m good at examining any given system or scenario, logically understanding it, and figuring out how to make it efficient. I take this approach to both work and things like games, which is why people call me a try-hard and anti-fun when I play games sometimes. Fun is in success for me; the better my performance, the more satisfying it is for me. I always aim for the perfect performance in everything I do. My most comfortable role is that of a logistics manager, which is a job I’ve done a few times in the past and would like to again.
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?
Sometimes I can be a bit socially awkward by virtue of being overly direct. I often rebuke people publicly when they do or say dumb things, and I can be argumentative if someone espouses an argument I deem to be unethical or otherwise incorrect. I’m also harsh on myself when I screw up, so at least that’s consistent. I already mentioned my total inability to forward-plan; I can be quite impulsive. Me being overweight is an example of this in the form of food and drink – I’m a dreadful Pepsi addict, although I only drink alcohol socially and don’t smoke or do any drugs (and never have, not even once). I lack willpower to follow things through.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?
Given I have a chronic shortage of money due to sporadic working, I’ve done very well to look after myself in this bedsit for 12 years. It’s not much, but it’s enough for me as long as I have a PC and an Internet connection, which is where most of my life takes place when I’m not working. I cook and clean for myself competently. I typically adjust my lifestyle to my current situation – when I’m working, I tend to spend more, both on myself and friends, but I’m able to reign in spending when necessary to keep everything ticking over without financial drama. I’m poor at saving any significant sums of money, however, and tend to run close to the line.
What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?
I dislike big social engagements, especially anything rowdy like clubbing. Instead, I prefer to meet with friends one-on-one or in small groups to talk intellectually or have light-hearted banter, or play games or go out somewhere together. I do like to spend time with my friends, whether it’s in real life or online.
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future? How did you come to have them?
Goals, aspirations and plans? What are those? I take life as it comes; if opportunities present themselves that I deem to be worthwhile, I’ll seize them and put in 110% effort. Otherwise, I just do what’s comfortable to me, so I tend to drift on by a lot of the time. Right now, I’m just looking for work and getting by as best I can.
If you had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life without working, what would you do with your time?
Study interesting things, go places that fascinate me, preferably with friends I care about. I’d be generous and look after those friends, too. Pretty much what I do now, but with more money thrown around. I’d buy some nice things for myself, maybe get a slightly bigger place and hire a cleaner, too, so I don’t have to do that!
What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?
I enjoy clinginess in girls, oddly, but that probably comes from somebody who’s spend most of his life single, but likes attention. I like off-the-wall, creative humour (sometimes inappropriate) and I especially enjoy people with unusual creative tastes, dress-styles etc.
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)? What do you think of daily chores?
I keep my bedsit relatively clean, although I have a tendency to hoard things and periodically need a clear-out. My place is relatively spartan, although I have a Chinese calendar from my local takeaway on the wall, as well as a couple of fantasy/game-related posters, just to liven the place up a bit. I don’t pay a huge amount of attention to my room, though; as long as it’s functional I'm satisfied.
How do you behave around strangers?
Politely at first, but I’ll try and find ways to break the ice by discussing a topic related to what we’re currently doing or where we are. From there, I’ll ask about the simple aspects of a person like what they do for a living or what they like doing. I’m good at developing rapport and generally make a good conversationalist, although I don’t go out of my way to initiate relationships or conversations with people all of the time.
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
I tend to try and avoid conflict and be diplomatic where possible. When it’s forced upon me, though, it depends whether it’s justified or not. If I know I’ve done wrong and I’ve been caught red-handed or I’ve been stupid, I can get very upset (although usually privately later on, after excusing myself from the situation). However, if someone’s just being dumb and insulting me in a way that’s unjustified, I’ll either just laugh at them or ignore them, or if I feel the need to engage, I usually just get into an argument with that person and explain why they’re colossally stupid. If they don’t back down, I’ll eventually just walk away, because I have better things to do with my time. I’ll be irritated for a while after that, but eventually my mood stabilises. I’ve never been physically attacked, so I can’t say how I’d respond to that. I think I’d be braver if I was protected a friend or girlfriend than if it was just me, but that’s just my theory.
What is one common misconception that people have? Explain why it is wrong.
I don’t know. This is a question for other people, really. It’s not something I’ve ever discussed with anyone. Maybe my dad thinks I’m an idiot for not foreseeing certain things that happen in my life. That’s not something that’s necessarily wrong, though – it’s just that I think differently to him.
What did you do last Friday?
Can’t really remember. Looked for some jobs, read some forums and websites, played some games, watched some streams and talked to some online friends, most likely. Just like most other days.
What is your biggest accomplishment?
Don’t really have anything to shout about. Still being alive after a childhood of emotional abandonment and somehow being able to stay afloat with a roof over my head after 12 years. I’ll take it.
What is something you regret?
Screwing up my last full-time job by arguing with my boss and threatening to go to a competitor with the company contacts. I got fired, and it wasn’t a bad job. Haven’t worked full-time since, and that was May 2016.
Who do you admire, and why?
My father for his ability to navigate life and accumulate wealth and understand value. Some of my friends for being more psychologically stable than me and being able to focus on a career or studies.
What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?
Financial issues are always on the cusp of my existence. I often concern myself with whether people like me or not, especially if I like them. I often second-guess myself when it comes to relationships of any kind. My step-father, who I don’t like, keeps trying to call me when I just want him to leave me alone. It was related to my mother’s estate, which is understandable, but I still find it distressing to an extent.
What are your religious or spiritual beliefs and why do you hold them?
Vehement atheist. A Christian girl tried to convert me a couple of years back; was hilarious when I deconstructed her argument piece by piece. She didn’t try again. I do find the supernatural and mystical interesting as an aside from time to time (ghosts, UFOs, conspiracies, that sort of thing) but I don’t spend a lot of time on it any more, although I did in my late teens and early twenties. These days I focus more on social and practical issues.
What are your political beliefs, and why? To what extent do you care about politics?
Largely libertarian free-market supporter, socially liberal yet nationally conservative, if that makes sense. Socially liberal: you can do what you want in my country, as long as you’re not antithetical to my values (which are mostly the values of Britain generally, I’d like to think) – you can be gay have pink hair, be transgender, whatever; you’re not harming me. Nationally conservative though: I dislike mass immigration of low-IQ third worlders who refuse to integrate, as I don’t see how this is productive or preferable to the country. Nobody has a right to move here just because; most of them are economic migrants just taking advantage of free stuff. It typically leads to balkanisation in the society, too. Overall, I’m not especially politically active, although I do occasionally enter into debates with friends about it.
Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?
If I could find a productive idea that I could manage, and have the resources to accomplish it, it’s be ideal. My father is self-employed and has been quite successful, and that’s a template I’d like to use, to set my own hours etc. I’d prefer Chief Operating Officer to CEO, though – running day-to-day operations smoothly is more my jam than thinking up and implementing long-term success strategy. I’d leave that to someone more competent in Ni!
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?
A comfortable and quiet work environment where I understand my job role well, but have some leeway to implement it as I choose. I don’t mind relatively rote work; even data entry doesn’t bore me as much as it might some people. I prefer non-public facing jobs, ideally business to business is my jam.
What is or was your favourite school subject and why?
Didn’t really have anything specific I enjoyed; I’ve always been a jack-of-all-trades, although history or geography were good ones for me. Maths/physics were probably my least favourite. I might’ve changed since then, though.
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?
When demobilised by myself, I tend to be quite irresponsible and impulsive. However, when I’m with others in a group activity or at work, I change completely. I’m a whirling dervish of activity, often helping newer people understand things and working like a demon to meet targets. I still tend to be quite distractible, though. I also like to have fun and feel comfortable at work. If I’m around people I feel awkward around or who intimidate me, I get flustered and don’t work well under pressure. I expect other people to not be stupid. At work, that means doing your job properly and not making my life more difficult. In multiplayer games, that means playing your part and not throwing like a donkey.
Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
I met some friends from the international Daily Mafia community up in London back in 2016. We spent the weekend in the city centre and had a lot of fun, including getting drunk. I haven’t been abroad since 2001 when I went to St. Petersburg in Russia with my school. I’ve had neither the money nor inclination to go on holiday abroad. At some point, I would like to visit friends in Sweden, the US, Australia and New Zealand, but it’s not something I’m going to work for years to achieve as a goal or anything.
What were you like as a kid? How have you changed since you were a child?
As a kid I was a loner. Loved building things and being creative, then when I was 11 I got my first PC. I never looked back. I could be sneaky and cunning and naughty sometimes when I was inclined, but was typically a good kid most of the time. I’d say I’m still largely the same.
What was your high school experience like?
Miserable; was a loner nerd. Got bullied by everyone except a couple of close friends. One of those guys I’ve known for 20 years now; was worth it. I had a pretty rough childhood from an emotional support and acceptance standpoint. I felt very isolated, and it didn’t help that I went to an all-boys school. Some more emotionally supportive female contact, even at that age, would’ve been very helpful for me, I think.
Talk about a significant event from your life.
My mother’s death in 2015 hit me pretty hard. Less than a year after that, my youngest sister tried to take her own life as well. Those things were a lot of the reason I lost my mind (and my job) back in 2016. I’m still recovering from these hammer-blows. I’ve spent most of the last year on self-reflection and trying to develop understanding (hence Socionics) and working out who my real friends are. I’m getting there slowly.
Do you like kids? Why or why not?
I adore kids; I was 13 when my first half-sister was born and 15 with the second one, so I played a part in nappy duty, bedtime etc. Kids and animals both have a tendency to single me out for adoration and attention as well, which is very sweet.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
Making sure my child is well-educated and ethically grounded, whilst allowing my child’s innate potential to flourish. It’s dangerous to try and mould a child to your own ideals, as my father sometimes does to me and has happened to close girlfriend of mine, who’s still suffering for it today. I’d be very protective of my kids, too, which is something I’d have to balance with letting them learn and do their own thing, especially as they get older.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
Yes, every day for the last 12 years. I’ve learned to live with it, even revel in it. I’ve given up looking for career or financial success and am just looking for ways to enjoy life as best I can, given my personality and situation.
How do you see other people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I try not collectivise, although I’ve already talked about certain groups of people I prefer not see in my country, and the reasons why. There’s a problem with young people today leaning too far left on the political spectrum IMO, although it’s an understandable reaction to bad politics, corruption, crony capitalism and the economic strife of the last ten years. Political correctness and the SJW movements can bugger off, though. I’m an advocate of liberty and personal freedom.
What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?
Reduce my expectations. I covered this in how I tend to spend more money when I have it to lead a more comfortable lifestyle, but am perfectly happy to dial it back if the current situation demands it. I can live a very ascetic lifestyle if needs be, although I prefer to have some spending money.
Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?
I don’t look for them, but if I’m the most competent person in a room of idiots and nobody else wants to step up, I’ll take command of the fleet, so to speak. This is usually triggered by my need for people around me to not act like disorganised idiots. I also won’t offer to step up if I’m not highly confident in my own abilities in that field or area of expertise. I’m often afraid of looking stupid.
How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?
Very rarely, but when I do I see red. The two kids I got angry at in school both ended up in hostipal (as Baldrick from Blackadder would put it). I have an extremely high tolerance before losing my shizz, thankfully.
What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?
Playing D&D and Titan Quest (a game) with some friends online, and winning as a sneaky mafia member a couple of times in my social online game of Mafia.
What is the worst thing that happened to you during the past week?
Trying to find money to pay my rent arrears. Not being successful. Quite stressful. My answers are getting shorter because I’m getting tired of answering these questions and I’m quite self-aware of it. =P
What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?
Friends and people I love. Solid ethics. Learning and things I find interesting. Making other people not stupid.
What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?
Probably St. Petersburg in Russia back in 2001. Some fabulously beautiful architecture and a good time with some school friends, as well as meeting new people (we went with another school’s students). I was hot though; St. Petersburg in July is about 30*C and humid as all hell. Don’t bother trying to be clever and order your McDonalds in Russian though; they all just speak to you in English.
How do you dress or manage your appearance?
Respectable but comfortable. At home or nipping around to the store, I typically wear a polo-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, with my walking boots when I go out to get food. Going out with someone I’ll wear a button-down shirt and jeans or smarter trousers with decent shoes. In short, I like comfortable clothes but I’m conscious of my appearance when I’m out with people.
Do you like surprises?
Only good ones.
Is there anything else important about you that we should know?
I’m very bored of answering personal questions now, and this questionnaire is 3,831 words long in MS Word.
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Originally Posted by AndyW
