What do you mean by "emotional restraint" exactly? Because ITPs will always feel a certain degree of discomfort when expressing emotion, thats just something you have to be willing to live with as long as he tries to get in touch with and live out his feelings, expresses them around certain people etc. Just dont expect him to turn into an effusive, bubbly ESFJ person cuz its just not gonna happen.Originally Posted by ENFP_wants_INTJ
Yes, he was not comfortable expressing emotions and that is fine (especially since this relationship followed a long relationship with an INTP :wink: ). But it got to the point where that clashed with my ENFP paranoia: Does he really love me? Or is he with me because it is convenient for him. There were times when I really needed emotional reassurance, but didn't get it. And I'm really not as demanding as other ENFPs. And in the end we parted as friends because we had lost the emotional connection needed to be partners and because he couldn't handle the stress with me anymore.
Oh no, I'm not looking for bubbly partner. I never even had an E for a partner and there is a reason, I suppose...
But I'm curious to hear more about this duality, especially since my ex might not be an ISTP.
I understand. Im not sure I can really help you there, as my experience with romantic relationships is very limited.
For ENFP_wants_INTJ...
Obviously, Duality is the most comfortable relationship. You might not recoganize or care about your dual at first, but you will realize you get along without any problems quickly. The more you talk to and interact with a dual, the more attached you two become with each other... either as a friend or a partner. Your dual wil naturally enjoy your strengths and they seem to accept you and understand you. This will be the same for them, as you enjoy their strenghts. Not only do you enjoy each others strengths, but it is hard for them to do something that hits you at a weak point. It's easy for you to think that your dual is perfect. They may even feel perfect around you, because you cover up their weaknesses. It seems that when you put something out there or push forward they accept, and the opposite goes for you when they do this to you. Two things seems to keep the relationship growing stronger; spending more time with them and being away from them. When duals know each other well, they always seem to be enjoying themselves. If there are little fights or if one person does something that the other doesn't like, then there is no need for apologizing. This is because the next time you two meet you'll both be extatic to see each other. These fights don't hurt the relationship at all. Dual relationships hardley ever seem to go dry. There is no greater feeling than to hear from your dual after spending a lot of time apart. This is because all of the good feelings come back and there are few bad ones you remember. The longer you know each other the harder it becomes to part. If you do, then both partners will probably try and come together again. Of course for a romatic relationship there needs to be attraction, but dual partners seem to become more and more infactuated with each other as time goes by. They naturally do things that are appealing and you can't help but to adore your dual after awhile. Both people may think their dual is too good for them, because they feel their best when around a dual.
Probably Not an ISTP
Not sure if I'm posting the reply right - oh well? This is from ENFPgirl. I would guess your ex was not an ISTP. I have quite a few ISTP male friends (pilots, commercial artists, emergerncy room doc who are all quite athletic and a bit wild and adrenalin oriented). Two of them at least are matched with ENFPs wives/girlfriends who are quite emotional and one of whom went through a very intense manic depression phase. It didn't phase these guys because they do intense things in other areas of their lives and they're able to be cool in a crisis, even an emotional one. Sometimes they joke to me that their girlfriends/wives "rant" a bit or must have their period 'cause they're emotional but then they laugh it off and move on.Yes, he was not comfortable expressing emotions and that is fine (especially since this relationship followed a long relationship with an INTP :wink: ). But it got to the point where that clashed with my ENFP paranoia: Does he really love me? Or is he with me because it is convenient for him. There were times when I really needed emotional reassurance, but didn't get it. And I'm really not as demanding as other ENFPs. And in the end we parted as friends because we had lost the emotional connection needed to be partners and because he couldn't handle the stress with me anymore.
Oh no, I'm not looking for bubbly partner. I never even had an E for a partner and there is a reason, I suppose...
But I'm curious to hear more about this duality, especially since my ex might not be an ISTP.
Your ex could be an ISTJ or possibly an ISFP as these two types are much less able to deal with emotional intensity. I went out with an ISTJ for a number of years and he was quite emotionally challenged you could say to be nice. I stressed him out but I never stress out my ISTP male friends, even when I'm being very emotionally intense. The reason I say ISFP is sometimes "f" types while more emotional themselves don't set up their boundaries well and get feel the stress of others. Hope you read this and it helps.
Re: istp or istj ?
I'm an ISTJ and to me you we dont sound that alike. I'm betting on ISTpPlease help.
I have come across MBTI before and fit the ISTP profile very well. Having now learnt much about socionics I am still unable to determine if I am a socionics ISTp or ISTj, as I have personality traits described by both.
I enjoy playing sports (almost always good at them) and other games all the time, can be very lazy at times as I am always relaxing, my home is always a mess and Im always late. I am incredibly curious about the world around me and learn about them very objectivly in a non-nonsense manner. Interested in physics, maths, astromomy, psychology (how I discovered socionics), and how thing work in general. I dislike hierarchy and authority, sometimes supisious of people who seem to like the control and responsibility of high social status jobs, I often break many rules as most seem unnecessary. Many people see me as quite a frivolous person who lacks general knowledge although I often can't understand this as I have a very deep understanding of many things and a good memory for facts and figures. I tend to dress very informally and spend little time and effort on my appearance, and feel uncomfortable in formal dress.
looking at the functions I seem to use lots of
but little
This would probably make me ISTp, correct?
Any help would be appreciated.
You're thoughts, my ideas
ISTJ
Re: istp or istj ?
What exactly made you think you might be ISTj?Unless you have ADD you are ISTp.
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