Enneagram type 4

[lemontrees]

Extreme Wisteria
Lucie Brock-Broido

On abandon, uncalled for but called forth.
The hydrangea
Of   her crushed each year a little more into the attar of   herself.
Pallid. Injured, wildly capable.
A throat to come home to, tupelo.
Lemurs in parlors, inconsolable.
Parlors of burgundy and sleigh. Unseverable fear.
Wistful, woke most every afternoon
In the green rooms of the Abandonarium.
Beautiful cage, asylum in.
Reckless urges to climb celestial trellises that may or may not
Have been there.
So few wild raspberries, they were countable,
Triaged out by hand.
Ten-thousand-count Egyptian cotton sheets. Intimacy with others,
Sateen. Extreme hyacinth as evidence.
Her single subject the idea that every single thing she loves
Will (perhaps tomorrow) die.
High editorial illusion of   “Control.” Early childhood: measles,
Scarlet fevers;
Cleopatra for most masquerades, gold sandals, broken home.
Convinced Gould’s late last recording of the Goldberg Variations
Was put down just for her. Unusual coalition of early deaths.
Early middle deaths as well. Believed, despite all evidence,
In afterlife, looked hopelessly for corroborating evidence of   such.
Wisteria, extreme.
There was always the murmur, you remember, about going home.

[Galen]

[video ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=every_radiohead_song[/video]

[Aylen]

[Aylen]

[suedehead]

[Aylen]

ON JEALOUSY AND TRUE BELONGING

[lemontrees]

[Aylen]

Healthy Fours are honest with themselves: they own all of their feelings and can look at their motives, contradictions, and emotional conflicts without denying or whitewashing them. They may not necessarily like what they discover, but they do not try to rationalize their states, nor do they try to hide them from themselves or others. They are not afraid to see themselves “warts and all.” Healthy Fours are willing to reveal highly personal and potentially shameful things about themselves because they are determined to understand the truth of their experience—so that they can discover who they are and come to terms with their emotional history. This ability also enables Fours to endure suffering with a quiet strength. Their familiarity with their own darker nature makes it easier for them to process painful experiences that might overwhelm other types.

"We have self-centered minds which get us into plenty of trouble. If we do not come to understand the error in the way we think, our self-awareness, which is our greatest blessing, is also our downfall."

"We are caught in the contradiction of finding life a rather perplexing puzzle which causes us a lot of misery, and at the same time being dimly aware of the boundless, limitless nature of life. So we begin looking for an answer to the puzzle."

"We tend to run our whole life trying to avoid all that hurts or displeases us, noticing the objects, people, or situations that we think will give us pain or pleasure, avoiding one and pursuing the other."


Joko Beck

[Aylen]

4. The romantic. The withdrawn ideal-seeker

More than any other type, 4s seek to understand themselves. They may probe their own emotions to an unusual depth, seeking authenticity of feeling and self-expression. They don't settle for the ordinary or shallow, and are disturbed that most everyone around them does. The importance they attach to their inner feelings makes them highly individualistic and original. 4s are unusually self-aware, sensitive, and intuitive, sometimes painfully so, and often with an intense interest in emotional and spiritual growth. Because of this emotional awareness, fours can show kindness at a very deep level (especially to those in crisis), but also know how to rile people up.

The 4's inward focus gives them an intense need for authentic personal self-expression. This may include conventional art-forms such as writing, and music, or unconventional forms such as tattoos and body piercing. The 4 has a romantic streak, and their relationships often occur at unusually high intensity. At best, this can be deeply transformative to both persons. At worst, this intensity may cause a trail of broken relationships, as the 4 continually seeks the intensity of new romances.

The 4's search for authenticity makes many 4s refreshingly candid, sometimes with a sense of drama and a sharp wit. However, they also have a self-indulgent streak. This self-indulgence typically turns inward, and away from practical reality, which may gets them into trouble with money, health, or other real-world issues. At worst, this may induce despair and brooding, accentuating the original problems and leading into a downward spiral that can be extremely dramatic.

Famous 4s: Calista Flockhart, Wynona Ryder, Dennis Rodman
Famous 4w3s: Peter Tchaikovsky, Michael Jackson
Famous 4w5s: Franz Kafka, Emily Dickinson, John Lennon, Bob Dylan

Comparisons with other types: 4s and 9s are mistaken for each other surprisingly often. In particular, self-preservation 9s can be shy and sensitive, seemingly like 4s. However, 4s seek intensity in their emotions, while 9s avoid it. 9s in pain may look like 4s, but they deal with their pain by numbing themselves, whereas the 4 is more likely to amplify their pain, hoping to find meaning in it.

---

Dynamics of Type 4: Romantic

World View: Something's missing. Others have it. I'm different from them because I don't.
Basic Desire: to understand self
Basic Fear: of being defective




Healthy loop controlled by Basic Desire:

Need for self-understanding -> examine self -> understand themselves -> Need for self-understandingIn the healthy state, the need for self-understanding induces Type Fours to allow their emotions to surface and examine these emotions in order to understand themselves. When Fours achieve self-understanding, their need is satisfied and a balance is reached.
In the average state, when Fours' do not examine closely their emotions, they start to not understand themselves. This increases the need for self-understanding, which helps Fours to again examine themselves. Thus the balancing loop can help Fours to recover.

Unhealthy loop controlled by Basic Fear:

Fear of being defective -> indulge in fantasy -> understand themselves -> Fear of being defectiveIn the unhealthy state, the basic fear of being defective can cause Type Fours to ignore their true selves, allow their emotions to overwhelm them, and indulge in wild fantasy about themselves. This means they will understand themselves even less, and further increases Fours' basic fear. The cycle continues to build up.

Insight:

We can see from the diagram that a way to help break the control of the basic fear is to weaken the unhealthy loop. Fours can refrain from indulging in fantasy and start examining themselves. This will help Fours to understand themselves, and reduce the fear of being defective.

http://www.9types.com/

[Olly From Wally World]

Dedicated to you *erases negative adjectives* fours.

[Aylen]

Dedicated to you *erases negative adjectives* fours.

[Aylen]

"Well I heard you left your situation
I left a message, you didn't get back
I figured you hooked up with this one or that one

Cats always land on their feet, I thought
Staring at this beat-up old Tom in Tel Aviv
But they're not lucky creatures
None of us are lucky creatures, no, no, no

Well, I dug all through this dumpster
It was just full of empty bottles and I
Mewed toward the young girls that feed us

I jumped straight up when a scooter swerved toward us
And thanked whatever cat-hating god cats pray to
That I was still breathing, I'm still breathing
'Cause cats are not lucky creatures

We got our dignity, we fought for that
Yeah, but there's no money, there's time for that
Never worried about my belly, there's rats for that
Never worried about the future 'cause I'm a cat

I want to tell you about
Crisis after crisis
But I hate to bore you

So I swished my tail
About and my snout
In indignation

And I landed
And I landed on my feet"

[Aylen]

"People of this personality type tend to build their identities around their perception of themselves as being somehow different or unique; they are thus self-consciously individualistic. Fours tend to see their difference from others as being both a gift and a curse - a gift, because it sets them apart from those they perceive as being somehow "common," and a curse, as it so often seems to separate them from the simpler forms of happiness that others so readily seem to enjoy. Thus, Fours can manage to feel superior to others while also secretly harboring some degree of longing and envy. A feeling of being a member of the "true aristocracy" alternates with deep feelings of shame, and fears of somehow being deeply flawed or defective.

Fours are emotionally complex and highly sensitive. They long to be understood and appreciated for their authentic selves, but easily feel misunderstood and unappreciated. They have a tendency to withdraw in the face of a world that seems harsh or crude, and are often somewhat moody or temperamental. They are emotionally centered and spend much of their lives immersed in their internal mental landscapes, where they feel free to cultivate and analyse their feelings. A desire to manifest this internal world often leads Fours to an interest in the arts, and some do become actual artists. Whether artistic or not, however, most Fours are aesthetically sensitive and concerned with self-expression and self-revelation, whether it be in the clothes they wear or in the overall nature of their often idiosyncratic lifestyles.

Fours are somewhat melancholic by disposition, and under stress tend to lapse into depression. They also tend to be self-absorbed, even under the best of circumstances, but when unbalanced, easily give way to a self-indulgence which they perceive as being fully justified as a way to compensate for the general lack of pleasure they experience in their lives. Rather than look for practical solutions to their difficulties, Fours are prone to fantasizing about a savior who will rescue them from their unhappiness.

Intellectual Fours tend to mistakenly type themselves as Fives, and a heavy wing can certainly exacerbate this tendency. Fours however, unlike Fives, tend to be self-revealing and comfortable with emotional expression." http://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/type4.php

[Aylen]

[Aylen]

[Aylen]

You Say, You Say
There's Something Wrong With Me
You Say, Why Can't I Be Right?
I'm All Dried Out Inside
But You're Squeezing Me Tight
I Can Still Remember
Once It Was Me In Love
Now You're Here Squeezing Me
Wanting Me To Be
An Image Of You

The Love, The Envy, The Hate
All We've Been Through
Just So You'll See
The Image Of You
The Love, The Envy, The Hate
All We've Been Through
Just So You'll See
The Image Of You

Watch Me, Step Out Of Your Shadow
Full In The Sun Once More
Look At My Face
The Glare Is Too Strong
Reflecting Your Disrespect
Now You're Seeing Me

The Love, The Envy, The Hate
All We've Been Through
Just So You'll See
The Image Of You
The Love, The Envy, The Hate
All We've Been Through
Just So You'll See
The Image Of You
Just So You'll See
The Image Of You
The Image Of You

[Aylen]

Enneagram Type Four: Creative Seeker

• Emotional Origins
• Ego-Driven Fours
• Pathological Fours

• Self-Actualized Fours
• Balancing the Opposites

Fours possess a multitude of qualities: introspective, intuitive, sensitive, compassionate, artistic, self-motivated, ambitious, true to self, and emotionally vulnerable. They often have a steel core — when they sink into despair, they bounce back to reinvent themselves. Fours have an emotional, romantic nature. They love beautiful, sensual surroundings to feel their feelings, and they use their vivid imagination to create fantasies, stir passions, or simply exaggerate emotions. Often called overly sensitive or dramatic, they harbor and nurture deeply felt emotions, particularly a bittersweet melancholy that they seen to cherish despite their complaints.

• Balancing the Opposites
  
• Emotional Origins

[Aylen]

Won't you come out
We could paint the town red
Kill a little time
You can sleep when you're dead
Cause it isn't over yet
Get it out of your head

Chase a couple hearts
We could leave 'em in shreds
Meet me in the gutter
Make the devil your friend
Just remember what I said
Cause it isn't over yet
Just remember what I said
Cause it isn't over yet

Say you have a little faith in me
Just close your eyes and let me lead
Follow me home

Need to have a little trust in me
Just close your eyes and let me lead
Follow me home
To where the lonely ones roam

Won't you come out
I've been waiting for you
Holding my breath
Til my body turned blue
We've got everything to lose
Yeah I'm waiting on you

Sun's come up
And there's no one else around
Meet me in the shadows
Won't you tell me what you found
You've got everything to lose
Yeah I'm waiting on you

Say you have a little faith in me
Just close your eyes and let me lead
Follow me home

Need to have a little trust in me
Just close your eyes and let me lead
Follow me home
To where the lonely ones roam

To where the lonely ones roam
Roam with me
Come down to where all of the others fell
Get lost in the dark to find yourself

Just remember what I said
No it isn't over yet

Say you have a little faith in me
Just close your eyes and let me lead
Follow me home

Need to have a little trust in me
Just close your eyes and let me lead
Follow me home
To where the lonely ones roam

[Creepy-male]

Enneagram Type 4

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/Ty...p#.VMfNDyzly1Q

Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance

Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)

hmmmmm

[Aylen]

How could he know this new dawn's light
Would change his life forever?
Set sail to sea but pulled off course
By the light of golden treasure

Was he the one causing pain
With his careless dreaming?
Been afraid
Always afraid
Of the things he's feeling
He could just be gone

He would just sail on
He would just sail on

How can I be lost?
If I've got nowhere to go?
Searched the seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost
In remembrance I relive
How can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?

These days drift on inside a fog
It's thick and suffocating
This seeking life outside its hell
Inside intoxicating
He's run aground
Like his life
Water's much too shallow
Slipping fast
Down with the ship
Fading in the shadows now
A castaway

They've
All gone
Away

They've gone away

How can I be lost
If I've got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold
How come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost
In remembrance I relive
And how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?

[Aylen]

[Anglas]

Louis Bloom???

[Aylen]

sp/sx? the song not the singer. haven't thought about his stacking yet. the imagery is more sx/sp but the lyrics sp/sx. still trying to figure the sx/sp sp/sx differences.

Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
Keep these feelings, no one knows

What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

[Chorus:]
And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight

What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

[Chorus]

Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe

[Chorus]

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
And I'm swimming through the ashes of another life
There's no real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

45
Staring down the barrel of a 45

[QuickTwist]

We are the solitary ones. We see through yesterday, into eternity.

[Aylen]

4 + 9 (hints) = 13

Numerology breakdown 1 + 3 = 4





00:00 - Fade Into You
04:55 - Bells Ring
09:30 - Mary Of Silence
15:29 - Five String Serenade
19:53 - Blue Light
25:04 - She's My Baby
29:28 - Unreflected
33:10 - Wasted
38:41 - Into Dust
44:18 - So Tonight That I Might See

[Velvet]

[Velvet]

[Aylen]

I just realized that I really prefer jagged edges to smooth curves.

[Aylen]

yeah, i've been watching me fall for it seems like years
watching me grow small, i watch me disappear
slipping out my ordinary world, out my ordinary eyes
yeah slipping out the ordinary me into someone else's life
into someone else's life...

there's a thin white cold new moon and the snow is coming down
and the neon bright tokyo lights flicker through the crowd
i've been drifting around for hours and i'm lost and i'm tired
when a whisper in my ear insatiable breathes
"why don't you follow me inside?..."

yeah the room is small, the room is bright
her hair is black, the bed is white
and the night is always young
is always young... always young
the night is always young...

yeah i've been seeing them strip to the bone in the mirror on the wall
seeing her swallow him whole like it's not me at all
she holds out her hands and i follow her down to my knees
and the sucking inside insatiable smiles
"you will forget yourself in me..."

yeah the room is small, the room is bright
her eyes are black, the bed is white
and the night is always young
and the night goes on and on
and the night is always young
and the night is never over and over and over and over and over...

and then it's gone
and then it's gone
yeah then it's gone

yeah it's a cruel mean cold new day and outside the snow is still coming down
and in the blood red tokyo bed i watch me coming round
she pulled him down for hours
deeper than i've ever been
and as i fall in the mirror on the wall
i'm watching me scream
i'm watching me scream
i'm watching me scream

i'm watching me scream

yeah i've been watching me go for it must be years
watching me get slow, i watch me disappear
and one day, yeah i know, i won't come back at all...
and always over and over in his ordinary eyes
i'm watching me fall
i'm watching me fall
i'm watching me fall

i'm watching me fall

[Skepsis]

[Persephone]

[Aylen]

He is pretty.

[yeves]

[yeves]

[yeves]

[yeves]

[Aylen]

Posted this to another thread but it kind of fits here. It amused me.

[Skepsis]

[yeves]

[Persephone]