Ron Perlman - 8w9 sp/so
Ron Perlman - 8w9 sp/so
Originally Posted by suedehead
"Do you see this? Do you see how unbothered they are? Absolutely no sympathy for the mother as she cries aloud. They don’t see her pain and they’re standing right next to her."
Now that I think about it better, I have to agree with Suedehead here actually. Sx first is a guarantee of empathy. I can feel it now.
I hope however this is not the way he expresses his "grief" ... the other threads about his personal emo-Charisma were more cool. I'd rather keep a more dignified image of him. Picturing him crying in fetus position would be kinda gross.
>:3
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Do you think sp/so stackings are more prone to marry or enter long-term relationships for security reasons? Like knowing they will have someone to take care of them if they ever become physically unable? Or even for money. Not someone filthy rich but just someone with enough money to ensure greater financial security?
LII-Ne with strong EII tendencies, 6w7-9w1-3w4 so/sp/sx, INxP
I think there's a sadness to this stacking. I don't think anyone ever truly wants to be 'content', numbed out and practical, and anyone who claims to be seems full of shit to me because I can see the desperation in their faces, the denial - like they want to convince themselves that they made the right choice, and that a college education/stable marriage is the apex of life. Some other drive has been repressed in them, and at some point they decided they weren't worthy.
Last edited by suedehead; 03-29-2015 at 04:15 PM.
nope, i would say sp/so view themselves as a figure who's supposed to support the family / close relationships. Security is smth. inherent in them that they can provide to others. but ofc they also expect stability and reliability in relationships ...they don't chase spice and sources of over-the-top energy, so they will probably cool-headedly test the potential of the relationship first. it's probably the most loyal of the stackings. ime Sx first is all in, but may easily get all out if attraction to someone else strikes.
Everyone has all the instincts. Being sx last does not mean it's not there. Stackings, I think, are a matter of priority, not of only experiencing two and not the third. I am sp last and find sp first incredibly attractive in its groundedness and stability.
This forum overrates sx first because people think it's so edgy and passionate and adventurous. There are plenty of sx firsts who are numbed out and incapable of living exciting lives, sometimes because they are incapable of finding a balance between obsession and stability, or other times because they cannot sustain a relationship because it burns out or they jump onto something else. There is nothing exciting about that. It's just erratic and stressful.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Most Sx-firsts/seconds seem like they actually put up a fight though. That's the difference - anger and resistance vs. complete resignation. What I live is like a state of cowardice basically. People try to downplay it and be politically correct about it, but it's obvious.
I think you really need to stop using personality theory to rationalize your current depressed state...
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
'Depression' isn't a rigid state, and depressive sx-firsts/seconds don't live like I do. They act out, they fuck up and learn, they have outlets, etc. 'Healthy' Sp/So's still seem repressed and stagnant to me - all Silke and Galen do here is post videos of dead-eyed middle aged people talking about finances and Christmas cards, which I find deeply depressing. I'm 20 years old so who says I want some wholesome life.
Depression makes you not give a damn/not feel any joy/not have energy. That has nothing to do with instinct stacking. I was pretty numbed out and indifferent during my worst depression. I think rationalizing like you do will keep you trapped in thinking this is how it is always going to be and it really doesn't have to. Try different meds.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Yes it does, because what you described is baseline for me and it's been used it as evidence of me being Sp/So.
This describes me perfectly:
SX blind spot - subvert the fiery energy, tame the fire, don’t honor your passions, procrastinate and postpone if you need to, avoid anything stimulating. Inertia. When the sexual instinct is least developed, the personality can lack a certain charisma and momentum. These people may fear of being a boring, bland person, without passions, be afraid of having 'no juice', and feel flattered that someone wants to spend time with them. Their personal relationships can suffer from a lack of attention or attention that is too scattered.
Whereas I know for a fact that my life would significantly improve in quality if I were like this, it's a fucking joke. I do things that I could be passionate about with the same level of enthusiasm as taking a shit.
SX dominant or secondary - focus, intense attraction, charge, electricity, addictions, days without sleeping, moth-to-flame attraction, obsessions, stalking, “loose cannons”, may make inappropriate remarks in social settings. On the high side, sexual subtypes often bring a certain passion and experimentalism to their lives; they are generally willing to take risks in order to attain their ideals. It is as if they constantly set themselves on fire. They may find it hard to settle into anything, including stable careers and committed relationships, out of fear that the need for intensity won’t be sustained for a long time. Their life may become erratic as they search for the next enlivening experience. The desire for intensity of experience can lead sexual subtypes to take unnecessary risks, to be somewhat impatient and to grow bored or frustrated with mundane reality. The merging tendency, when taken to extremes, can lead to an inability to protect important boundaries. When the overall personality is unbalanced, thrill seeking or self-medication sometimes enter the picture, and can lead to various forms of addiction. They have high cost—“all or nothing” attitude.
My point is that your baseline is shaped by depression, not personality. I would have been typed something entirely different (in socionics and enneagram) during my depressed times. Something different yet again during my worst anxiety times. So I think your current baseline is not your personality, it sounds like depression, angst, insecurity, etc.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
This would be an unhealthy and insecure sx last.SX blind spot - subvert the fiery energy, tame the fire, don’t honor your passions, procrastinate and postpone if you need to, avoid anything stimulating. Inertia. When the sexual instinct is least developed, the personality can lack a certain charisma and momentum. These people may fear of being a boring, bland person, without passions, be afraid of having 'no juice', and feel flattered that someone wants to spend time with them. Their personal relationships can suffer from a lack of attention or attention that is too scattered.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
And plenty of them don't transcend that 'insecurity'.
And it's such a depressing blindspot to have because the worst being social-blindspot gives you is a disregard for people that don't matter, and sp blindspot a fully-lived life. Like right, some old lady or priss at work doesn't like you because you're unpredictable, or you forget to eat and take care of your health, yet you still get to have cathartic experiences and not live like a pussy. It's not even comparable, which is why I doubt an Sx-first/second can truly empathize with what I go through, because I know their version of shitty makes them feel angry and want to fuck something up as opposed to the dull nothingness I feel half the time. They have all the potential in the world to be filled up to the brim with experiences, passion and catharsis, and they project that onto me as a reason for me to keep going when it's just not accurate.
Last edited by suedehead; 03-29-2015 at 05:29 PM.
Kim, I feel like you have a need to view life as some fantasy world where even has an equal chance or whatever. Life is cruel and real. 5000 or whatever years ago, you wouldn't be able to throw platitudes at a genetically weak male who was unable to procreate about how he's equal to someone that did, because it doesn't matter and that's just how his life panned out. In the same way, certain stackings are just able to get more from life and are more interesting. There's no justice, there's no balance, it just is. I see it right in front of me. Don't intellectualize it or talk about people who don't exist. Don't detach from your own judgment and tell me how there *must* be interesting, non-complacent Sp/So's, or how they have a bunch of positive qualities that I don't even value.
Last edited by suedehead; 03-29-2015 at 06:05 PM.
But despite that you have a gift with words, you're candid, have real emotional depth, and you seem able of coming out of yourself fully for someone - or at least that's how I experience you. I don't know how significant that is to you since that's just the way you are, but I see those things as enviable traits.
I understand. Somehow I have emotionally invested in your wellbeing. I know words aren't helping right now.
“My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.” —C.G. Jung
I think that's a shitty thing to do and my Sp/So mom has reacted similarly to me. I bet I'll do that to my own child too.Posted - 11 Nov 2010 : 8:36:47 PM
The sp/so people I've known like contributing to the group while maintaining their autonomy. My family is sp/so heavy. This stacking seems to have difficulty with 'sticky' (sx) issues. For example: when my dad was a young hippie pothead his parents (both sp/so) decided to send him to a mental institution rather than confront him about it. They wanted to fix the problem without getting their hands dirty. As a result a lot of stuff got buried, pushed to the side, pushed off onto a professional, superficially resolved, etc. For me, 'clean' is the word that comes to mind for sp/so stacking. They tend to be discreet, trustworthy and naturally private, socially aware but not really political. I think the sp/so operates pretty independently while always being distantly involved.
,
I feel like Galen and Silke are being condescending when it comes to half the shit they post in this thread. What the fuck is this for example.
And this.
What's it supposed to mean to me. I don't find this shit funny. Half the time I feel like killing myself and I have to be reminded of my blandness and poverty of experience constantly because people like you two need an outlet for petty self-aggrandizement, but for what, honestly. What the fuck are you compensating for. What void is all this stacking bullshit filling for you. Why do you get off on telling people that they lack self-awareness and have a deficiency of personal experience. Who are you once these typology constructs are stripped from you.
Last edited by suedehead; 03-30-2015 at 02:50 AM.
hahahaahaahahaahah oh my fucking goodness. That's hilarious.I feel like Galen and Silke are being condescending when it comes to half the shit they post in this thread. What the fuck is this for example.
And this.
Good points by the way in the other half of the post..
Do you think maybe if the box you're putting yourself in is keeping you down that it would be best to just ignore instinctual stackings altogether? I won't say that you don't fit the description since I don't know you, but these types only exist because of how broadly defined they are. There is nothing that says that you can't shift from sx/sp to so/sp or whatever. It might be the case that you are shifting constantly every minute but your sense of identity just happens to be entrenched in one of them. If you wanted that identity to change, the first step would probably be to stay away from the place that is reminding you they exist i.e. this subsection of the forum. Billions of people pay no heed to personality types at all, and I think that's a good thing. It's healthier when your sense of identity isn't rooted in descriptions.
The idea behind any type is that you like what you are because it's your identity. If one appeals to you over another, but it doesn't seem tot fit then you are likely the one that appeals to you. In that case you would just be an 'unhealthy' version, which makes you resemble the one that doesn't appeal to you.
Overall I just think it's better to stay away from it altogether because it impedes a shift in identity, which it seems you need.
Last edited by Contra; 03-30-2015 at 07:06 PM.
i found nothing more condescending and scary than what he posted himself, thus externalizing his own distress and projecting it onto sp/so because he cannot even understand what "clean", light, community-oriented (tending towards masculine pursuits), fruitful, and syn-flow means.
Last edited by Amber; 03-30-2015 at 11:28 AM.
You really think we post these things just to slight you? I have no more authority over what the types are than anybody else, so all this projection of malicious intent onto me and silke makes no sense. We posted those things months and months ago, what's with the sudden animosity?
fwiw I could buy you as sp/sx with a very heavy sp-slant
It was 2 a.m. when I wrote that post so I don't think I completely perceived his attitude. I more or less agree with you, but it does seem these subjective association, instinctual stacking threads get taken a bit too seriously at times.
This whole series is done by Kentaro Kobayashi, a probable SLI sp/so, and is great
Last edited by Galen; 03-31-2015 at 04:20 AM.
Oy vey.
I agree with contra on this simply because you're shoving yourself into this "type" so concretely..
Idk.. I don't really pay attention to stackings... All this stuff I end up using for rationalization of why relationships haven't worked in the past ( at least intially). (It always comes down to severe misalignment of goals and needs/wants which... Sure can maybe be written off as stackings but I deem people as merely a sum of their life experiences..so easily shiftable. <is shiftable a word?>).
I think you come as very reflective and intelligent. You are extremely hard on yourself and have sky high expectations for yourself and those around you.
Yes, life is full of people who wouldn't have survived a week without technologic advances... But life is what it is now...
I went through a very similiar phase as what you're going through now. There might still be posts lying around...ergo 2010~2011 when I was also in teens/early 20s. And not to be preachy but pyschotherapy was only thing that helped lift a fog... My mindset of low selfworth stemmed from neglect and ...really crappy circumstances in growing up. Idk.. I think really opening up to someone who is bound by law not to repeat what you talk about (unless it's intent to harm others) is freeing.... And it takes time to even get to that point as well... Lots of awkward silence.
lol
Last edited by marooned; 04-05-2015 at 06:02 PM.
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