The Craftsman and the Psychologist (ISTp-ENFp) by Meged and Ovcharov
Dear ENFP_wants_INTJ,
My advice to you is to find your dual instead - the ISTp. In the long run, you'll me a lot happier (provided you have similar values).
Accirding to socionics, your relationship with an INTj will lack energy. He will be faultfinding and will not value your abilities. He may also appear patronising.
According to socionics you are labelled "The Psychologist" and your dual is labelled "The Craftsman". Below is a descritpiton of how things could turn out for the both of you (from http://www.socioniko.net/en/1.3.rels/index-rels.html). Sorry that the description describes the psychologist and craftsman as men:
The Craftsman easily detects smallest deviations from esthetic standards in the surrounding world; such disharmony makes him feel distressed, awakes in him a feeling of discomfort, the desire to improve the situation, to perfect what he achieved or actually possesses – not only in the material world, but in his intellectual and spiritual development as well. This is why The Craftsman is exigent to himself and often also to the others. He likes nothing drab, trite and banal, strives for improvement of his own, his friends and family, beginning from the appearance and health, and up to the mental development. He is very curious, has wide range of interests, often he is not self-confident because of increased self-criticism. He needs praise of his capabilities, encouragement of his efforts.
The Psychologist is just the kind of person who notices talents of the others, inspires them with belief in their capabilities, readily tells compliments. He notices even hidden capabilities and willingly encourages their development. This in turn very much commands respect of The Craftsman, who does not feel bored with such a partner. The Psychologist is useful to him also because he easily finds solutions to difficult situations, which would otherwise make The Craftsman feel depressed. Being thankful for that, The Craftsman takes care of the mental and external comfort of the one solving his internal problems.
The Psychologist very much needs a caring partner and finds relaxation for his emotional and restless soul in the 'quiet haven' of a friend, who is constant in his words and deeds, reliable and faithful. The Craftsman creates convenience and comfort for The Psychologist, who is not much adapted to the real life, thus giving him the opportunity to focus on spiritual and intellectual values, generate new ideas, which will bring the taste of novelty into their common affairs.
Everyday chores are usually undertaken by The Craftsman, who believes he can do them better. The Psychologist takes initiative in relations, can unite people around himself, and becomes the 'life of the party'. He gains people's favor, willingly advises on solving personal problems. He is a subtle psychologist, who understands well hidden motives of people. He emotionally demonstrates his attitude towards people; his sincerity, warmth and ingenuousness make others forgive his excessive straightforwardness and hot temper. He corrects The Craftsman's ethical mistakes, and often even his own, since he is not rancorous and likes people very much. His trustfulness disarms the incredulous Craftsman, and emotionality softens his more cold-tempered and reserved partner.
The Craftsman is reticent enough and does not like to demonstrate his feelings. He can put a distance in communication, seems to be arrogant and non-sociable. But in the very depths of his soul he is thankful to the person who takes responsibility for ethical issues on himself. He likes The Psychologist's spirit of trust, whose permanent optimism, capability of foreseeing the future and perspectives of various undertakings, finding ways out of any problems. The Psychologist raises The Craftsman's confidence of the future, decrease his skepticism and mistrust towards everything new, not well known or not proven by practice. In addition, The Craftsman is sometimes excessively nervous and mistrustful; he exaggerates possible dangers not to mention real ones. But The Psychologist, who lives more in the future than in the present, 'calculates' everything in advance and in such moments call for caution, and at the same time calms down his partner when an alarm is false.
The Craftsman is very technological and practical. He can work quickly and is well organized. He plans all stages of his work in advance, acquires all the necessary things in advance. He is enduring in perfecting details of his work, can separate important things from trifles, which is not an easy task for The Psychologist. The Psychologist's efficiency of working is high only in critical situations, while routine and monotonous, non-creative work deteriorates his vital tonus, being a source of boredom for this restless creative personality. The Psychologist gladly accepts a role of 'second' or 'assistant', which suits The Craftsman's commanding nature. The Craftsman does not like when others impose on him other ways of doing things than he would prefer. He is strives for real benefit and profit, unlike altruistic Psychologist, and this contributes to growth of material welfare of this dual pair.
The Psychologist needs a partner indulgent enough to his weak points: negligence at work, lack of consideration to rules, norms and hierarchy, outbursts of non-motivated aggression. The Craftsman is indulgent to such, sometimes they even amuse him. He likes the independent nature of The Psychologist, which does not encroach on his own independence.
The characteristic features of this dual pair are the independence from each other, as well as from others, harmony of relations and a restless spirit of creativity and self-development.
Reply With Quote
(not really. My two best friends are both ESFPs, but I could never date one. I have actually never dated an extravert...).
