Member Questionnaire (Sigh)
What is beauty? What is love? Beauty is something that feels right, though I suppose wrongness can have a beauty to it as well. It can be a source of great inspiration, and of great frustration.
I have yet to fall in love with someone, so I don't really have a personal definition of that.
What are your most important values? I'm not sure. I could say I value something, but then comes a situation where I don't value it after all. Then I'll feel like a hypocrite. Which I don't want. So... you could say I value not being a hypocrite. I also try to be open-minded. Not in the sense that I accept all kinds of bullshit, but to being open to reconsider and learn something new. To not be too biased, and accept the truth even if it's unpleasant. Of course I have my biases, though, so I'm not always successful.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place? Not really no. Although I grew up with Christianity, and considered myself a Christian as a kid. As I grew older, however, I found that I don't necessarily agree with a lot of the Christian values. Besides, the story sounds rather unlikely, there’s no proof, etc... but who knows. I still worry about going to hell sometimes. So now I'm an agnostic.
Well, I also have a casual interest in Astrology. I'm a Cancerian with Sagittarius Rising, by the way.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you? I think war is tragic, but also part of human nature. It will likely keep happening as long as there are people left on earth. Or life in general. Militaries are a necessary evil.
Power is autonomy, having the ability to affect the outcome of your own life. It's also having the ability to affect and influence other people, for better or worse.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why? For most of this year it's mainly been about personality theory. It's really eaten my brain. Originally I was mostly interested in finding types for my characters (and fictional characters in general). Then eventually, I also became very interested in finding my own type(s). I suppose it seemed like an opportunity to learn something new about myself.
I've also had long conversations about sex and gender roles and such. I think gender is a very interesting topic, even though it's depressing at times. Sometimes I wonder how life would be without any of that baggage, but I see my own thinking has been soaked in it so it's hard to say how I would even be like. I don't think gender roles are bad in and of themselves, though. It's just problematic when they are pushed on people whether they want them or not.
Besides that, I'm interested in animation, video games, books, etc. Also, I'm a bit of an artist. Mostly on hobby-level, though. I like to draw and write, though my writing is kind of trash. Which is a shame, because I do like words.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body? Sometimes I'm healthy, and sometimes not. I'm still struggling to resist temptations, or drag my ass to the gym every month.
I’m not terribly interested in medicine, but I remember my mom had these medical books that I would sometimes look through when I was a kid. Which inspired a couple of nightmares involving diseases.
What do you think of daily chores? Gross. I keep having to do them.
Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome. I like Discworld, though I haven't read any in a while. Of the Discworld books I have read, Small Gods is my favorite, but then it was also the first book in the series I ever read. I'm actually kind of sad because I don't enjoy other books nearly as much as I enjoyed Small Gods. They are still funny, have good points, etc., but they don't engage me in the same way. Guess there's something about the first one...
I usually prefer animated movies, though there are some live-action movies that I like as well. Recently I watched Mr. Nobody, which was quite an interesting movie. Confusing during the first 20 minutes or so, but it makes enough sense after that. Besides, I don’t mind some mind-screw. It was kind of romantic too. I don’t always care for romance in movies, but this was cute.
Basically, I tend to like stories that gives me the sense of being in a different world/reality, and/or plays with themes I find interesting. Murder mysteries and such can also be entertaining, though.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why? I cry over a lot of things. For example, I cried a little while reading
this article because I think about visiting the park and it sounds terrifying and painful.
There are other things that has made me cry, but I'm not sure I want to go into those on a public forum.
Endings make me sad (though not necessarily to the point of crying) whether they are meant to be sad or not, because I don't want things to end. Except for things I dislike, of course.
Things that have made me smile: Musicals. Sometimes I wish my life could be a musical, but then I remember that I'm awful at singing. So I wouldn't exactly be in my element. Compliments can make me smile, especially if they are from someone I admire. Alcohol. I can also start smiling if I feel nervous or embarrassed. Until I start crying.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging? I don't know. I’m not sure what that means. Places that bring up a sense of nostalgia, I suppose. Certain video games can also be very immersive. I like libraries, but actually they can be rather overwhelming. So many books.
But really, most places are okay, as long as they aren't ugly to look at, or I don't have any bad associations about it. I can feel uneasy if I'm sitting somewhere alone, though. I mean, not alone, but surrounded by strangers and with no friends nearby. I get kind of intimidated easily.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself? I'm tempted to say "everything," but I'll try to be more specific.
I've been told that I'm awfully indecisive, which I'm inclined to agree with. I'm also lazy and have trouble staying motivated, and even then it's hard to get started in the first place.
Besides that, I've been told that I'm a bit of a perfectionist. *shrug* I suppose I can be.
I can be pretty stubborn, though that can also be a good thing. On the other hand, I can also be a bit of a pushover at times, having trouble saying no to people.
Growing up, I've had trouble figuring out... some really obvious things, to be honest. For example, when I was younger it annoyed me how my hair got wet every time I showered. Then my aunt showed me that I could put my hair up in a bun to avoid getting it wet. In hindsight, I’m not sure why this didn’t occur to me.
What I dislike most is perhaps how sensitive I can be. I could do with some thicker skin, because sometimes it feels like I barely got any skin at all. Like I'm a pile of exposed flesh moving around in a world made of sandpaper. It's kind of unpleasant.
I also wish I was more creative.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself? I think I have a decent sense of aesthetics. I'm good with my hands even though I feel clumsy and awkward otherwise. I've also been told that I have a nice voice. Is that a strength? I don't know, but it can be useful I suppose.
In what areas of your life would you like help? Some help with motivation would be nice. I mean, ideally I shouldn't have to rely on someone else for that, but left to my own devices I can easily end up wasting away for days (or weeks, or months) without really doing anything serious.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it. All the time. It makes me feel very frustrated and trapped and I feel like tearing myself apart.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with? I tend to dislike domineering people. Never took that well to people telling me what to do. Unless they're my teacher or something. Well... I still might not like it that much, but it's their job to do it so I don't take it personally.
People who makes assumptions without considering how they could be wrong. Because sometimes they are in fact wrong.
Passive-aggressiveness. Especially when someone insists on calling you something like "honey" during a discussion. Coy assholes.
...I probably have more pet-peeves concerning people, but I'm not exactly perfect myself, so I try not to be too judgmental.
I like creative people. Friendly, open-minded (but also able to think for themselves), etc. I like someone I can have a good laugh with, but also a serious conversation. Overly flippant people are off-putting.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner? Sex is great... in theory. In truth I don't have any experience with it. While I like the ~idea~ of sex, I'm generally not fond of being touched. So I don't know. Gotta
Not really sure about romance. When I was a kid I liked the idea of falling in love, but at some point I figured that I was so unattractive that I would be forever alone, so I decided not to fall in love with anyone. Now I’m not sure if I’m able to really fall in love with anyone. Although I’ve met some addictive people, few have interested me That Way.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why? ...I didn't sign up for this.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction? That really depends on the belief, but if it's something I find important, I'll likely get upset. However, I might try not to show how upset I am, because that would give them potential ammo for trolling.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one. It could be worse. To be honest my focus is not that broad, so I don’t usually think about it much.
I would say my initial view of people is somewhat idealistic, as I like to see the best in people. Over time my view has become less idealistic, though. It seems clear that humans can be very horrible, and just from knowing myself I know a person can be less than wonderful.
A social problem would be bigotry, or stupidity. They are both pretty bad and often go hand in hand.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them? Common interests.
To be honest I can be terribly self-centered and unreliable, but I haven’t gotten any complaints lately.
I can also be rather shy, but once I start talking with someone I can also be ridiculously open.
How do you behave around strangers? ...Depends on the context. And the strangers. I tend to be rather quiet. If I see someone really attractive, I might get sad that we'll likely never have sex.