ILI-INTp dating behavior

[Creepy-]

Tell him you are going to rape him while you are moving closer to him. Then touch his chest and massage his groin with your knee. Then tell him you want him and he should be only yours. Do this while you are alone and in a place where you can have sex. Call him when you promise to call him. Don't try to make him jealous, he will lose interest. Always be active while in his company and advise him gently to do what he plans instead of just thinking about it. Give him your support and always motivate him. You should get married in the next 2 years.

This advice comes from an ILI-Te.

[End]

Geez, you can write this down in your notebook, for this (or many more) IEI as well. o.O

Underline it, twice. Especially the "hypothetical woman" (or man) part.

I feel like this is a common ego problem. No?

ILI-Ni here, yep, it's a huge problem. The problem is that Ni goes haywire in romantic relationships, the visions get really dark, really fast. You've seen it happen all too often, it happened to someone you knew most likely. You knew it was too good to be true. She was such a nice girl, so young and pretty. She even kept his belly full and his balls dry... and she was also the town bicycle who was sleeping with all his friends behind his back! That two-timing backstabbling 10 dollar gold-digging whore, death is too good for that bitch! I'll tell Joe, he needs to know. 5 months later, Joe blows his own brains out when he confirms all the sorid details of his wife's love life. She was even named Tiffany, it couldn't get more cliche. The sorry fool...

Then, you meet a girl yourself, and she's everything you've ever wanted. Smart, pretty for her age, funny, aggressive in the bedroom and seeks sex frequently and with fervent passion, and she even praises you for the things you do both for her and for yourself. Supportive too, she isn't even worried about you getting laid off of work, she's confident you will find a better job soon that will be more fulfilling than the previous one despite the shit economy. It's a dream come true! Oh crap, this is a dream, it's too good, I'm gonna end up like Joe? He committed suicide when he found out about Tiffany, what if that's what's happening to me ! What's she pulling behind my back? Does she have a reverse harem going and is she just stringing me along with her talk of kids and a marriage? Am I just her backup bitch boy who she'll marry if she can't get better dick before she slams into the wall and locks me into a sexless marriage who she'll just divorce rape 10 years later for the alimony payments? Why am I even being this stupid and driving to her house for another booty call? I should run, I should ghost this girl now before I get tied down in a position I cannot extricate myself from. Why am I being this dumb? Why am I knocking on her door fearing that her other boy toys are now bailing out the back after plowing all three holes?

Oh, she answered pretty quickly and looks awfully sultry and seductive. Oh thank god, no, wait, what if the other boy toys and she herself are just that damned good at bailing out before I even get here? What if (her tongue is now down your throat and she is practically raping you on the spot in her front room).

After sex: Oh man, that was amazing. I can't believe I thought she was like that Tiffany bitch. She'd never do that... or would she?

That's what it's like for Ni in the Ego block, nobody can cook up a good sinister plot quite like an Ni dominant. Our fear? That we ourselves are the victims of a sinister plot in a bad way. No good person wants to unknowingly be part of a harem, the lies and deceit necessary to maintain one by the harem lead are disgusting and vile enough, but to fall prey to such deceit yourself? Oh, the humiliation you'd feel, that utter sense of complete worthlessness, that you weren't enough to satisfy this person despite attempting to service every need you possibly could.

That's what it's like being the victim people, we secretly suspect you're gonna cheat on us no matter what we do! So we don't bother, we push you away as we desperately desire your embrace. I'm sorry, but that's how it is. It's a good thing aggressors like that sort of thing, the pushing past a certain amount of resistance and everything. If it wasn't for them I fear we'd never get laid, let alone reproduce.

[Olimpia]

That's what it's like for Ni in the Ego block, nobody can cook up a good sinister plot quite like an Ni dominant. Our fear? That we ourselves are the victims of a sinister plot in a bad way.

[...]

That's what it's like being the victim people, we secretly suspect you're gonna cheat on us no matter what we do! So we don't bother, we push you away as we desperately desire your embrace.

This is mostly the case when you combine ego (esp. Gamma) with E-6 in the Enneagram.

[End]

This is mostly the case when you combine ego (esp. Gamma) with E-6 in the Enneagram.

I'm more E5, I seek understanding. Knowledge is power, know more, understand more. In that, you will find what you seek. At least I hope I do, I do want a good woman by my side as I breathe my last breath. My hidden agenda being "to love" as it is I want one to see all my flaws and accept me. Knowingly, lovingly, in a rather aggressive way, you get the point. Defy my Ni if you can, I do relish the prospect. Show me how, in this one instance, I was a fool. I eagerly await that response, the one instance where I was wrong despite all logical evidence. Lemme see how my cynical, misanthropic, dark sense of humor led right to the girl of my dreams as it really ought not to have...

[hatesyardwork]

Why does the "victim" sexual description rub so many "victims" wrong. I think the definition is right on the money and shows not that we are trapped in a box, but are very adaptive depending on our partner. Ever hear of a reach around..........why not recognize "pseudo aggressor" ? I am both at the same time, yielding and then dominant the same session. I love "aggressors".........their unspoken aggressive attraction is validating, it's not weakness at all, I feel wanted It's a sexual preference with a shitty name. It's like being short and insisting that people call you "height disabled", because short is too constricting. Hung up on a name or hung up on sex? Living in the moment is what is hard for Ni ego's. Just another academic exercise to talk our selves out of something we want. Blunt raw tension, with an element of "you naughty bitch" is what I like, I don't care what it's called.

[marooned]

Why does the "victim" sexual description rub so many "victims" wrong.

some of them might not actually be victims. *smiles upon the forum in a patronizing way* while others may be stubborn victims.

but really in the end it's the rebellion against being boxed up neat and tight, because it's confining.

[hatesyardwork]

some of them might not actually be victims. *smiles upon the forum in a patronizing way* while others may be stubborn victims.

but really in the end it's the rebellion against being boxed up neat and tight, because it's confining.

Good Summary. Which is more pervasive...... mistypes, or the "sensitive" bladders

[marooned]

Good Summary. Which is more pervasive...... mistypes, or the "sensitive" bladders

i don't know... but i have a sensitive bladder.

[hatesyardwork]

i don't know... but i have a sensitive bladder.

I am more of a bed wetter.......very weak Se Although rubber sheets sounds very interesting to this victim.

[carrina]

Everybody wants to date ili. Yolo

True dat

[carrina]

Yeah, SEE are good about taking what they want. However I am hating on the influences of social media and that is that it teaches "general values" that are so against the nature of duality like "one does not do that when invited to stay over." Or, any number of etiquette behaviors that cross boundaries and obscure instinctive action based on the person's type. I frown upon this.



Games and politics are common in that dual pair; my mother's motto is "tell them you are sick when you can't go to the party" and mine is "mom, why would I lie, you're asking me to lie. I'll tell them the truth that I need to go buy groceries." Her excuse is "oh honey....you don't have to tell them about every little thing that goes on in your life." She makes it seem like some sort of power game dynamic thing I can't understand.

It's funny to me how you feel about the differences between Gamma - delta in your mother and you

[carrina]

I do and say things.

Pfft haha lol. Yeah ILI-Te can be somewhat open from my experience. Also, lol.

[Olimpia]

Pfft haha lol. Yeah ILI-Te can be somewhat open from my experience. Also, lol.

Ha, yeah. ILI-Te will be more stoic than LIE-0/-Te, but more outspoken about their interest than LIE-Ni, for some reason.
Subtype can really influence the way how one acts. I've described it as the "badge" one wears, or the face you show the world.
The LIE-Ni will have more of a "Victim face" (not literally, metaphorically) and have a stronger Victim vibe on the outside/first encounter than ILI-Te, who will try to suppress Victim-ness more.
At least this has been my experience.

I would rate Victim-ness from least to most like this: LIE-Te, LIE-0, ILI-Te, LIE-Ni, ILI-0, EIE-Fe, ILI-Ni, EIE-0, IEI-Fe, EIE-Ni, IEI-0, IEI-Ni.

[nondescript]

Alleged ILI reporting in. Can confirm the stereotypes. Never been on a date. No interaction with females around my age period.


Its not that I'm asexual, horribly unattractive or anything like that, its the damn VICTIM romance style. I don't know if its like this for every ILI but girls that I find very attractive also TERRIFY me. Its impossible to pin down exactly what it is I'm even afraid about. Fear of rejection, feeling inadequate, afraid of what other guys might think may all play a role but I can't say its any one in particular. Obviously I'm consciously aware the fears are irrational but that doesn't help. In my case its got so bad that the mere mention of the name of the person i was interested in was enough to cause uncontrollable blushing, let alone ever trying to actively approach them. That's why many ILIs approach in robotic manner and pretend to not really care, because the thought revealing our unusually intense and out of place sentiments scares the shit out of us.

Sorry, I had to quote this.

If you only could've heard yourself back then. This is a common sign of not wanting to be in a super-ego / conflict relation lol. One being ILE - SEE and the other LII - SEE. Gee, how correct I was .